ideal beautiful
I would say, I spend about 30 minutes to an hour trying to take the right picture and find the right filter. Making sure my acne isn’t noticeable and my smile looks believable. That my hair is perfectly straight and my glasses are off. I find myself doing this often; trying to be perfect. I think I do a pretty fine job at editing my pictures and making myself look good. But then after I post a picture, get hundreds of likes and comments, I find myself sad. I felt so fake. I was making everyone believe that I was picture perfect. I was trying to live up to everyone’s expectations. I was trying to fulfill the ideal beautiful. The perfect skin, flawless hair, whitest smile, perfect body. It hurt me to know I’m not that… I’m not the worlds “ideal beautiful”. I can’t be like Gigi Hadid or Beyoncé. I can’t be a runway model, I can’t be the skinniest, I can’t have the best curves or assets, I can’t make a guy look twice at me, I can’t do any of it. I can’t fit the “ideal beautiful ”. And that psychological messes with me. It makes me think that I’m not good enough, no one would ever want to be with me, I can’t do what I dream of; I can’t get married, have a family, have my dream job. Just because my face isn’t as beautiful as others… Then I sat back for a moment. This did not seem right to me. I don’t have to be physically beautiful to do what I want, I just have to be beautiful on the inside. I have to be my own “ideal beautiful.” I don’t wanna fit in with the rest of the world or look like it. I wanna be my own person. I want embrace my flaws, because my flaws make me who I am… So yeah, I have acne. Yeah, I wear nerdy glasses. Sure, I’m not the prettiest. Duh, my hair is mess. Yes, my shirt has food stains. But yknow what? WHO CARES. I am me. I like myself, and other people like me too. I am my own pretty and someone else’s “ideal beautiful”. I am loved for who I am…I am beautiful, flaws and all.
