King of All Critters

for just a moment longer

[you were loved]

The actor playing Grace would have to be ATHLETIC. Not just because Grace is muscular, but because he’s constantly jumping around, climbing the ladders of the Hail Mary. He’d also be doing lots of quick-changes when jumping from scenes on the ship to flashbacks on Earth. Since he’s always wearing a jumpsuit, it could be pretty quick; just unzip the jumpsuit, throw on the fox cardigan or a lab coat or his yellow raincoat, and vice versa.

He could also have little moments when he excitedly explains all the science he’s doing in terms the audience can understand, not just to Carl or Rocky but also directly to the audience, Bill Nye style. And he could throw in dated slang from back before he left Earth. It would perfectly capture his trying-to-be-the-cool-teacher-to-middle-schoolers persona.

They could have Rocky as a puppet, puppeteered by a team in ninja outfits just like the real puppeteers did for the movie. Or when he’s in the ball, it could be a clear ball that’s remote controlled to roll around the set while Rocky is projected onto/into it with screens/holograms.

During scenes that take place in space, the actors who play the other humans could act like a Greek Chorus, singing from the wings to cheer Grace on or remind him of the mission (very much like how the choir was used in the movie score).

It would be a pretty big set, but I’m imagining something on a swivel: one half of the set is the Hail Mary and on the other side is whatever other settings they need for a scene, be it Earth settings like Grace’s classroom, a biology laboratory, Stratt’s Vat, Baikonur Cosmodrome, etc, or space scenes that aren’t inside the ship like the Tunnel or Time Go Fishing.

The Hail Mary would be pretty big for a set, but if they use the book design for the ship, they could fit it into a three-story set like the Lost Boys Musical: Dormitory on bottom, Lab in the middle, and Cockpit up top. They could add Rocky’s tunnels during the intermission.

Part 2 where I put Grace in the dress

Epic is an interesting case because it’s both adapting incredibly famous events in Greek mythology and telling its own tragedy, the impact of which is felt such that even the bittersweet happy ending makes everyone cry.

Epic the Musical is NOT called “The Odyssey: The Musical.” Because it’s not The Odyssey: The Musical. It does adapt the tale of the Odyssey, but the overarching plot arc and moral tale come from the mind of Jorge Rivera-Herrans, and the events and characters of the Odyssey are adapted in a way that is faithful enough to feel representative of the tale but ultimately are adjusted to serve that larger story goal, which Jorge never pretended was something he took from the original Odyssey.

Epic works because it’s adapting the Odyssey without claiming to tell the story of the Odyssey. It tells the story of Epic through the legendary tales of the Odyssey, which is a subtle difference, but one that was executed very well.

Nolan’s Odyssey movie, on the other hand, feels from the way it is set up as though it should be portraying the story of the Odyssey, and then it doesn’t.

Here’s the thing, though: I actually do like the tale told through Nolan’s Odyssey. I think the way it’s filmed, the way it’s set up, and the way the motifs pull together is very well done. The centrality of the invented Zeus’ law and the way Athena’s character was handled (which is completely antithetical to the original story, but impactful in its own way) were executed well. But at the same time, it just comes with this feeling of claiming to be something it isn’t. If the film wasn’t the Odyssey, I’d enjoy it better, because it is a good story, it just deeply is not the story it claims to be. In fact, I’d say Epic the Musical actually tiptoes closer to the Odyssey story than a movie called the Odyssey.

Not only that the language itself sounds straight out of a marvel forcibly funny haha moment, but Menelaus? The Menelaus who all thoughout human history, from Homer, to Sappho, to Euripides, to Virgil, to Shakespeare, to Brooke, to Barth; from Classical vases to Medieval poetry to Reinessance art, has been known as the man whose sword fell from his hands at the sight of his wife after 10 years apart?

"What joy for me to hold my wife" Menelaus?

"He flung the sword away, and kissed her feet" Menelaus?

"I believe all. I understand nothing. I love you" Menelaus?

"I have no fault to find; my wife, he daughter of Zeus and Leda, is mine again, she whom her brothers on their snow-white steeds, whilst torches blazed, made my happy bride, but gods removed her from my home." Menelaus?

The Menelaus who was picked out of the suitors by Helen herself? The Menelaus who couldn't kill a begging Trojan so his brother had to do it for him? The Menelaus who rescued Odysseus and got out Patroclus' body? The Menelaus who volounteered to fight Paris one on one so everybody could go home? Who kept expressing his guilt about himself being the cause of war through every assembly he spoke at in the Iliad? Who after 10 years away at Troy, took his wife through a 7-year long journey at sea back home, where he reinstated her as the queen of Sparta? Who wept like a child in front of Telemachus recalling the war and his brother and all the friends he lost and the only consolation being his wife' gentle hand on his?

You want me to believe that man scarred Helen's face and called her only worth half the ships because of it?

"They've got nobody in the Odyssey?"

"No I'm saying they don't got nobody."

"Nobody's there?"

"Nobody's not there!"

"So everyone's there?"

"Everybody but nobody!"

"our lecturers are some of the best in the country-" do they know how to accommodate different learning styles? are they normal when a student has significant access needs?

"our historic campus buildings-" do they have working lifts? can they fit a powerchair?

"our research led curriculum-" is it accessible to mentally disabled people?

"our exceptional scientific equipment-" can people with limb differences use it? will you help them use it?

"our state-of-the-art sports facilities-" do you have a single sports club for disabled people? one sports wheelchair?

"we have over 400 societies" are a single one of them made by, for, and about disabled people?

"our student accommodation (housing) is cheap and modern and-" do you have wheelchair accessible rooms that aren't a million miles away from campus and/or really far away from any social events on campus? do you even have them at all?

"here's our prospectus and website and leaflet!" does it have a single mention of disability in it? outside of 'oh yeah we can accommodate you :)'

"here's how to access our support services!" do they involve having to communicate clearly to be taken even a bit seriously?

"here's how we can accommodate you!" okay but are disabled students an active and important part of your student life? are we anywhere to be found at social events, clubs and societies, (inter)national events, fucking *open days*?