revalise

She sighed and put the folder down on his desk.

Chrollo had asked Pakunoda to find the girl who had stolen his necklace. He remained vague about it, but knowing Chrollo, it might be something extremely important. 

He looked over the files, silently reading their contents, taking them in just as he consumed  knowledge from his ancient books. His fingers traced the letters of the name written in bold on one of the pages.

ASTRA BEATRIZ GERBER

Pakunoda gazed at him with suspicion. Meddling with this girl could endanger the nature of the group. She was nowhere near a simple girl, alright. The girl spelled trouble.

She was the illegitimate child of an acknowledged former lawyer, Martin Gerber, before he took over the Gerber family dynasty.  

This information wasn’t exactly kept a secret. It was silent gossip within the small circle of socialites and elites. Illegitimate children weren’t news to the circle. Three out of five families in the circle had a case of their own. But it so happened that the Gerber family was known to be conservative—faithful to their betrothed, or as painted by the media.

Nevertheless, it only took that mistake to have the head of the family, Rod Gerber,  wavering in his trust in Martin. To his dismay, this almost cost him the whole dynasty. Fortunately, Rod was a good man, unlike his son. To secure his position in becoming the next successor as the eldest, Martin had to keep the child and take her as his own.

It shamed Martin to do so, keeping an illegitimate of his own accord. Though his wife was noticeably against it, she had to agree if she wanted to be the wife of the very powerful man. Cleverly, she argued that it would bring discomfort to her family if the child were to live in the same house as them. Rod then agreed that Martin would just have to sustain the needs of the child in the mother’s care.

Chrollo took all of the information  in, almost feeling bad for the girl, if  it weren’t for his own experiences.  

The same thought as Pakunoda had crossed his mind. Her father had connections in law. If Chrollo, say for example, met the girl’s father and he decided to look deeper into Chrollo and his background, it wouldn’t really be a problem. The group knew how to cut their ties. They eliminated those who had seen them. But if worse came to worst, this could have blown the group’s cover. 

The Phantom Troupe weren’t regular thieves. They were thieves with intellect that calculated their every movement. Before they acted on anything, Chrollo, who had a personal philosophy of theological dualism - the balance between good and evil - that influenced his decisions, would first weigh his options. His actions were always calculated.

It was not that they feared the law or the man himself, but the Phantom Troupe managed to blend in with the crowd, no one knew of who they were. And the group loved being free despite the criminality they commit.

From the moment he first laid his eyes on her, he knew she was trouble.

But none of the information stopped him.

***

Zazan promised Astra dinner. But it was way past dinner, and the staff of the three-star Michelin restaurant she had booked kept going back and forth, assisting and asking for her order, which she refused to give until her aunt arrived.

Her aunt, Zazan, was her father, Martin’s, little sister. For all her life, she was her mother figure. Zazan always had her back whenever her father didn’t. Her aunt loved designer and luxury items, and was a designer herself. Hence, her love for luxury and designer.

To state it simply, Astra was given to her aunt after she lived with her dad for two years when her mother died. She was only six then.

She remembers how much scorn she received from Martin’s legitimate family, and how she was treated as less than a freeloader, being an illegitimate child. Not once did her father defend her from them.

After all, she was a nobody, aside from the Gerber blood running through her veins.

Astra, at four, never spoke with anyone, not even the maids that served the family in their mansion. She remained quiet, hiding inside her room, but doing everything she was told—even standing for hours, with no food and water, beside the silver knight decorations in the hallway of their house because her older half-sister told her to. She ignored the numbing sensation in her knees until a helper saw her.

That was, until Zazan returned to the city and took interest in the meek, little girl she once was. And for the first time in two years, she spoke and her voice sounded hoarse. Her words were: “Can I come with you?”

From then on, Zazan took her as her own. Martin had no objections, nor did his family. In fact, the situation was in their favor. In his father’s eyes, as long as Astra wasn’t disobedient or brought problems—more than she already had, being an illegitimate—upon the family, it’d be fine.  

However, it seemed Astra grew up to be a spitting image of Zazan’s personality. Astra grew bolder, braver, and stronger, all because she had Zazan to look up to. But Astra wasn’t nice on a daily basis. She was nowhere near a saint.

“May I take your order, miss?” a smiling boy, who looked a few years younger than Astra, came to assist her. But a girl, wearing the same uniform as him, came to them, gripping his arm.

“Sorry, miss.” The staff leaned in closer to the boy’s ear to whisper, “I’ve been trying to take her order. She’s waiting for someone, but I think she got stood up.”

“Oh...” the boy muttered “Too bad, she actually looks pretty.”

He turned his attention to Astra, about to apologize, when she interrupted him.

Astra laced her fingers together, her elbows on the table, and rested her head on her hands. With a sarcastic tone, she said, “If you’re going to talk shit about me, consider doing it somewhere else where I can’t hear you.”

“S-sorry, miss…” the staff muttered, afraid. All of their customers had power, because only the rich could afford the place. They feared they could lose their jobs. Most of all, they knew who Astra was. They knew of her influence.

“But thanks for complimenting my looks.” Astra flashed a grin that didn’t reach her eyes. “Get me some champagne.”

They scurried to give her what she wanted, too obvious in wanting to leave her sight.

Astra leaned on her chair, her arms crossed over her chest. She clicked her tongue in impatience. For once, she regretted asking for champagne. She felt the urge to leave. To elites like her, hunger didn’t come, anyway; she’d still have a lot of food at home. She could leave before they gave her champagne, and leave cash three times the bill, but her pride made her stay.

And she hated to admit it, but she really needed to see her aunt. She needed someone.

She needed someone to hold her at times she felt like slipping away.

As Astra waited impatiently, a man sat at the opposite end of the table. It happened so quickly, she didn’t have the time to process it. The man looked studly in his crisp suit. He wore a white shirt underneath, topped with a dark blazer and slacks.

“I’m sorry. Did I keep you waiting?” He asked in his most polite tone while he pulled at the opening of his blazer.

Her eyebrows shot up and she clicked her tongue, but she tried to maintain her composure. After all, it was a restaurant for the high-class. Manners above all.

“Sorry, you must have the wrong table.”

The man chuckled. “Oh, have you forgotten about me, miss? Allow me to reintroduce myself,” he grinned, “I’m the man you stole from a few nights ago.”

For a moment, perplexity was etched on her face, ‘Bitch, which one?’ 

Yes, the man looked a little familiar, but with the amount of people she was acquainted with, it was hard to keep track of the long list. 

“Oh, I see,” she said plainly. “I must’ve stolen from you when I was drunk.” 

Astra leaned forward and put her elbows on the table. She whispered, “You see, I have a habit of doing those when I’m drunk.” She flashed her sultry smile. 

Her hands reached for her fuchsia devotion bag made of python skin. It featured an exclusive bejeweled personalized heart closure, inspired by the techniques of fine jewelry, which etched her initials in it.

ABG

Astra clicked her tongue when her eyes met her initials on her bag. She laughed inwardly at how she sent it back to Italy when her initials weren’t in bold.

“How much was it? I could pay for it right now.”

The way the man grinned at her assured her that it’s done for. Game over. She wins. Whatever she did, she got away with it. Not because of her pull and connections, but because of her charm. And she knew it. She grinned at this. 

“Actually,” the man began, “I have other things in mind.”

“Oh,” Astra had a knowing smirk. She knew of what the man could possibly ask. It was no different. He was no different from all the other men she’d met before. ‘A night, perhaps?’

“Let’s hear it,” she said sultrily. 

It was the man’s turn to lean closer and rest his elbows on the table. He laced his hands together and flashed a smile. “I was thinking of jail time.”

Her hypocritical smile dropped. She was rendered shaken. Just as quick as the change in her mood, the sourness and bitterness of being embarrassed in front of the mysterious man in front of her, she showed her true colors. 

‘Where the fuck is my champagne?’ she thought.

Her back rested on her chair and she crossed her arms. “Name?” her tone was as rude as it could get. 

“Now we’re talking,” the man chuckled, and he rested his back on his chair as well. “Chrollo Lucilfer. I believe I already told you that. I’m hurt you forgot about me so easily.”

Astra didn’t reciprocate the demeanor Chrollo was showing. While Chrollo looked composed and polite, Astra, on the other hand, was irking in anger. 

“What do you want?” she spat, so rudely you wouldn’t think that it was the same woman who had been flashing sultry and inviting smiles.

“Nothing much, actually,” he grinned but it didn’t reach his eyes. “If you’ll come with me, I’ll discuss the matter, and I promise you it’d be done with.”

If it were only a few minutes ago, she would have gone with him at that very moment. She would’ve taken him to some backroom and let them do their business. But it was different now. 

To her, it seemed like the man didn’t want any physical relationships. He was danger, nothing else. 

“And if I refuse?” 

“Your scandalous actions will not only be known by your father, Martin Gerber, but your little circle as well,” he replied.

“I’m impressed. You’ve done your research about me,” she scoffed. 

One of the staff who assisted her earlier appeared with champagne in her hands. She kept her head down, but kept a shy smile and gave continuous glances toward Chrollo as she poured the liquid into their respective glass.

“Thanks, miss,” Chrollo flashed the girl a sweet smile. 

Astra could have sworn she saw the girl almost curtsy at that. She rolled her eyes. 

When the girl left, Astra arched her brow. Chrollo on the other hand, ignored her demeanor. “Shall I order you some real food?” 

He was about to call the staff again, but Astra stopped him. “I’m not hungry.”

For a moment, Astra almost regretted her actions because Chrollo might be hungry. But if it’d be the same staff who keep annoying her with how they tried to get the man’s attention, forget it. 

‘What is with this restaurant anyway? Why are they always the same people?’

Once the foam settled on her champagne, she drank it quickly, picked up her bag, and stood up. When she looked over at Chrollo, who still sat on his seat gazing at her, she scoffed. “I’m coming with you. Wait for me outside in a moment.”

“You’ve said that before,” he replied, reminiscing to when she said the exact thing when they met the other night, and then she was gone with his St. Peter’s cross necklace.

“You seriously have something on me. Do you think I’ll run away from you?” Astra argued. “Besides, you’ve done your research on me. So I expect you to appear wherever I am.”

“I don’t believe you,” Chrollo stood up. “Wherever you’re going, I’ll come with you.”

Astra rolled her eyes. If she didn’t have something, it would obviously be his trust. And she had to get it no matter what, if she wanted to get out of the situation quickly.

She turned on her heel and Chrollo followed closely behind her. Suddenly, something rang from Chrollo’s pocket when they stepped out of the restaurant and into the lobby of the luxury hotel. Astra turned her attention to it and then to his eyes looking back at hers. 

“Go,” she nodded at him in a dismissive manner. “I promise I won’t leave.”

Chrollo eyed her carefully, weighing the sincerity of her words, to which she responded with widening her eyes at him. There was a faint smile in Chrollo’s face before he finally took his phone out and turned his back on her. 

Astra lightly shook her head. She didn’t notice, but there was a small smile on her face as well. And just as if the timing couldn’t be more perfect, someone she knew all too well appeared in front of her, looking down at her, mocking her.

With the conflict with Floch, I don't want to wait for any boy to sweep my off my feet. But I guess it's too late now. I feel bad for being the reason why he joined the Survey Corps. Joining here means being a livestock for cattle, as per Commandant Keith. It would mean losing our lives in battle, may it be for the better good or for nothing at all.

It was surprising to see him on the first day of training, alright. It made my heart flutter a little, just not the same as before.

I don't know if it's for the better. But I'm thankful anyway that I didn't get to see Levi for the past few days after what had happened.

In truth, he stayed in my mind every day since then. I have to remember that romance isn't what I came here for. Maybe it's good that I haven't seen him. But I can't lie that I feel that something within me feels incomplete when I don't see him.

It's odd that I haven't seen him the past few days. I knew they were always busy, but sometimes I would catch a glimpse of the commander and Levi along the hallways or the mess hall as they have their eyes glued on the paper in their hand or on their meal quickly leaving after they finish.

I would still see Mike, Hanji, and even Commander Erwin, but not Levi. It pained me to think that he's avoiding me, but I shouldn't care. Maybe this is for the better before I completely fall for him. Maybe.

Tonight we're tasked with a cleaning duty. We were tasked to clean the mess hall. Floch was stationed to clean somewhere else. I feel bad for him for cleaning as his punishment. He didn't even deserve it. It didn't have to be done, but I didn't have a say about it.

"Hey, Arya," someone called out.

I whip my head over to the voice, my hand not leaving the glass window I'm cleaning with a rag, "What?"

"Why do you think Floch isn't here?" Jean questions me as he sweeps the floor beside me.

I roll my eyes at him, "I don't know."

Following my argument with Jean, we managed to make up. After all, that's just how our relationship is. He'd tease or insult me. I'll get mad at him and vice versa. He's said he's sorry for the incident, and I did too.

He stops sweeping and rests his face on the broom with his hand supporting his chin, "Don't you think it's weird?"

"Nope," I began, "He's not part of our squad anyway."

I wasn't lying though. Floch isn't part of our team, or squad. He wasn't part of the usual gang either.

"Well, whatever," he dismisses the conversation.

From the corner of my eye, I see Mikasa pass by. Jean greets her, "Hi, Mikasa!"

To which only Mikasa ignored him. I laughed at him as he frowned at his rejection.

"Oh, well," he whispers I almost didn't catch, "I'm 20 and I still can't snag a date."

"Yeah, whatever. Just leave me alone I want to go to bed already," I say and wave my hand in a dismissive manner.

He rolls his eyes at me and smirks, "What? Aren't you going to tell me about your little love affair with the captain?"

Surprisingly enough, I was quite shocked he brought it up. After all, we fought about it last week. Not to mention, it seems like all the rumors about the captain and I died down already. Like it's been buried and no one seems to remember anymore - other than nosy Jean, of course.

"You've got to stop being so nosy," I frown at him.

"What? With the captain?" he stifled a laugh, "Have fun."

My eyebrows arch at him, "Maybe I will," I smirk and his mouth went agape.

Before he could retort, a thud turned all our attention to the door.

"Ouch, ouch, ouch!" Hanji repeatedly say as he jumps with one foot and holds the other with her hand.

She'd hit her foot by the door entrance. I lightly giggle at her being a klutz.

Hanji turned to us. She held the corner of the door for support and smiled, forgetting her little scene just then, "I need one of you to help me bring some files over to Levi."

Quickly, everyone resumed to their work, ignoring what Hanji ordered, earning a frown from Hanji,

It wasn't that cadets didn't think Hanji was a superior material and didn't heed her orders, but this involved Levi. And everyone didn't want to get involved with him.

"No one?" she called out, raising the papers with her hand.

"Not even if I give that person a potato?" she adds with a bribing tone and smirks.

I look over and see Sasha biting her lip, and trying not to look at Hanji's way. She had her eyes closed and covered her ears. I laughed at her.

"Arya can!" Jean calls out. I immediately turn to him.

What?

Hanji automatically smiles as wide as she can and comes my way, handing out the papers, "Thanks, Arya! I'd bring it myself if I can but I don't want to interrupt him when he's with Erwin."

I only nod, a bit dumbfounded with the whole situation. What happened to avoiding Levi?

Jean smirked from beside me, "Good luck dealing with Captain Levi."

"Shut up," I give him a grimace and he only laughs like he's outdone me in some way.

I look up at Hanji. For a moment, it looked like he had a playful smirk, "I owe you one," she says.

My thoughts find Levi as I saunter the hallway to give him the files Hanji asked me to.

The ambivalence tugged at my heart at the thought that I'd get to see him again. But after all his talks of wanting me, and then avoiding me, I considered myself as someone he's just playing with. Maybe.

This was all just so stupid.

"They're returning from the military police in a few weeks..."

The door to the captain's office was slightly open. I could hear the faint voice of Commander Erwin speaking. Their conversation sounded serious. I immediately reminded myself of what Hanji said earlier. She didn't want to disturb them when they're talking so he sent me instead.

So I'm like a guinea pig?

"I just hope this won't change anything in your work behavior. Especially since she's returning with them," I heard the faint voice of the commander.

I peek through the slightly opened door. I tried to be careful not to be found out. Levi sat on his chair and the commander stood across him.

"You don't have to worry about that. It's nothing to me now," Levi responded with a monotone, "Why do you think I didn't pursue her then?"

Pursue her? Were they talking about someone in Levi's past? From the military police?

"I genuinely wish that's true..." Commander Erwin stops halfway when our eyes meet, earning a quiet gasp from me.

"I better get going now," he excuses himself.

Levi doesn't send him off and only watches Commander Erwin open the door widely, revealing me with the papers I held close to my chest.

"Cadet," Commander Erwin greeted me. There was a strict, calm, or respect in his tone I can't quite comprehend.

"Commander," I salute at him.

He only nods before he takes off. I turn to the captain who's now looking at me from where he's seated.

Levi looks at me intently, a smirk displayed on his lips, "To what do I owe the pleasure, cadet?"

He didn't wear his jacket and his cravat. His button down was rolled to his elbows, then I noticed his glasses. If anything, it accentuated his face.

My cheeks heated as I process his physique. He looked worn out, like tired from all the work. But he still managed to look his best without trying.

The girls will never admit it, but I know they find the captain attractive too. I could see it in their eyes whenever he passes by, even when he had his eyebrows furrowed as he walked along the mess hall.

He actually looked like a professional...

I think he'd be perfect to be described as a lawyer.

I walk over to him, ignoring the fast beating of my heart. I can't tell if the usual nervousness I feel whenever a higher rank is with me or if it's something else. My heart isn't entirely sure.

"Just... just bringing some papers from Hanji," I place the paper on his desk. I see a pile of papers on the side.

He must've been working nonstop. Even though there were a lot of papers, his desk was neat. Almost as if he'd been doing nothing, but the pile proved otherwise.

"Ah..." his smirk dropped. I could tell his mind was distracted with work again. It amused me how he was able to shift his focus so quickly at the mention of work.

Levi's such a hard worker. He's even independent. I admired that about him. It's like he's always doing something - the prime example of action-oriented. I think that's why the commander trusts him so much. He can manage on his own.

"Is that all?" he doesn't shoot me a glance. His eyes were only focused on the papers I delivered to him.

"Yes..." my voice was quiet.

"Okay," he arranges the papers into place, "You may leave."

I turn my back against him, ready to leave through the door. But it bothered me why he's different from the last time we've talked. Not to mention the intimacy we shared between us then. I thought I'd know him; I thought he'd already opened up to me.

"Why didn't you pursue it?" I ask. My voice sounded so small I almost didn't recognize it.

"What?"

I turn to face him. Levi's held a pen, and it looked he he had just stopped from writing.

"Why didn't you pursue her?"

I heard a low chuckle from him. I could tell he found my question amusing, "Where you eavesdropping on my conversation with Erwin?"

"You didn't answer my question."

Levi stood up, a tired smile on his lips.

"Don't," I start off, "come near me."

As much as I wanted to look brave in front of him, it was painfully harder than I thought. Hell, I was even asking embarrassing questions!

I don't want to look at him. I don't want him to see my face. I'm just thankful that the room's pretty dark and only the light from the candle and window illuminated the place.

"I said don't come near me," I repeat, walking backwards as he tries to close the distance between us.

I keep moving backwards, going round, until I finally hit his desk. He uses it as an opportunity to entrap me with his arms.

"Why won't you listen..."

I feel red rise on my cheeks because of our position. I was almost sitting down on the desk while he had me enclosed with both his arms on both sides of the desk.

Levi leaned closer and caused our faces to be so close. I look away.

He smirked, "Why shall I pursue it when I have you?" he whispered into my ear.

"Liar."

"You don't believe me?" he chuckled darkly and put the stray hair on my face behind my ear, "You're the only one."

He plants a peck on my forehead. If I were being honest, it had my heart beating fast. The feeling is almost inexplicable. I don't really know what's happening...

I blushed at his actions and looked at him though having a hard time with eye contact, "What are you doing..." I slap his chest but my strength ended up weak that it didn't seem to do anything to him. I only felt his muscled chest hidden beneath that white button down.

"You finally looked at me," he caressed my cheek.

"It's in the past. What matters is now," he looks at me intently, "I didn't pursue it because it was not my priority then. And I didn't feel like I had to."

"Well... how about now?"

He looked taken aback at my sudden question.

"You could say it is..." he whispers.

"Good," I say with confidence.

"And why is that?" the surprise was evident on his face but it had a mix of curiosity. He really wanted to know.

"Because I think I might've fallen for you," I whisper back, reaching for his hand on my cheek.

Levi's lips parted open, disbelief written on his face, but the smile didn't escape me, "What?"

"You heard me."

That was all it took. His lips were on mine and I couldn't think of anything else anymore. He kissed my feverishly and hard. His fingers dig into my waist, my back, my hips, my thighs.

Ugh. This damn fabric separating his skin on mine.

He touched me hard I think I might have bruises the next day.

Levi pulls away. Our breathing syncing each other. I see him smile and close his eyes as his forehead touches mine. I smile too.

"Do you want to be with me?" he asks tenderly, "I'll make you the happiest woman."

It was as if there was a slight hesitation in his voice. But I already know what I wanted.

I smile at him and nod, "Yes..."

He smiles back at me. It quite surprised me to see him smiling as opposed to his usual smirks he never fails to give me. Levi reaches for my hand and brings it to his lips before giving me another peck on my forehead.

"I'll make you the happiest..."

The ambivalence tugged at my heart once more. I could see myself being enamored, but I couldn't care less. Maybe we're going a little too fast. Maybe it's too soon. I don't know. All I knew was I wanted to be his.