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⟹ tulips and lilies — hitman!levi x florist!reader ; undecided word count

from the moment levi ackerman steps into your world of sweet tulips and gentle lilies everything feels out of place. uprooted in infatuation he can’t move but for as long as there is one finger on that trigger neither you or him are safe.

⟹ december 1893 part of the limited honour series — knight!levi x princess!reader ; undecided word count

“i’ll break all of your limbs if it means you stop pursuing me.” his words are stern and almost as unwavering as the deathly grip he has on your shoulders.

“levi ackerman. break my legs if you have it in you, but i’ll only come crawling back.”

devotion is truly a despicable being. is it not?

also when i say “leaving” idk if i mean like properly leaving but i definitely won’t be writing any more aot fics. if anyone has spy x family questions they can ask me those i will probably reply to them. maybe i’ll just make this a blog where i talk about.. anything? random stuff? sxf? who knows. just no more fic writing here. i’d like to start over somewhere new where i feel like i won’t be so meticulous over what i write.

i disagree anon this is my reasoning 😭😭

Since my exams are over I watched all seven episodes(that are out currently) of SxF in one sitting and now I don't know what to do with my life anymore :)

And OH. MY. GOD. the hype really does justice to the media this anime is EVERYTHING from the animations, the characters, the music and most importantly the story- it's all so beautifully crafted.

Speaking of the story, was nobody gonna tell me how all three of them had such a sad past?!? Seeing the scenes of little Loid, and Anya in the lab crying simply broke my heart 😭😭 It's been a while since an anime has affected me this much.

Also the ending!! Oh man I can't stop listening to it, reading the lyrics with the context in mind makes me so soft I could cry

Even after being an anime only with the little content that's out now I could rant about it all day I just love it so SO much.

So, what's your favorite part of SxF? (or at least tell me about some of the most favorites because let's face it, there's nothing to not love in this)

i’ve been good!! will be finishing exams in a month and then i am FREEE 😭 but omg i’m so happy you started sxf and you like it tbh if you can you should definitely read the manga - the anime is nearly as good but the manga is so special to me i promise you won’t regret it !!!! either way the anime really did a good job like the art style stayed true to the original source and seeing the found family trope in the manga is great but seeing them moving and everything just i LOVE it it felt so good to watch.

also yes their backstories are so so so so so sad but it gets worse when you read the manga like 😭😭 my god loid’s backstory is the one we see the most in the manga so far and it’s so sad i just want to. hug him.

anyway yes the ending song i love it and the lyrics but yk what the best part of the whole ending is? when anya flies away and she leaves yor and loid in darkness - kind of like they’re saying she’s the light of their life 😭😭😭😭😭

i have too many good parts about sxf that i like but i would say the realistic structure of the characters even with all the wild stuff that happens at the end they all have really normal concerns and worries - like yor wants the women at work to like her and see her as this good wife to her husband, anya wants a mother and father which is why she tries to help operation strix in secret, damian just wants a normal relationship with his dad etc etc

but ANYWAY that aside i should show you one of my favourite panels to be honest it is probably my favourite panel but it’s this (spoiler if you havent read the manga but!)

for context loid is the old man (he’s wearing a mask) and he hears what anya says. she says she’s not very sure if he likes her and he gets mad sometimes because she gets bad grades but she believes he will understand her failing because she loves him and knows that’s how he is - even if he gets mad he understands. she tells this to damian who’s fearful to meet his dad after his test result. to be honest i just liked her advice, if you love someone and have something to tell them just say it, they may not understand you at first but they will at some point. it really is a marking point that shows just how much anya cherishes loid. he is her father, even if she knows he’s doing it for a mission she still sees him as her father and i just think that is so. cute.

but what i think is great is damian still receiving love from his friends, even if it’s not really a great substitute for parental love it makes me happy that he has people in his corner.

emile and ewen at first glance seem to only be friends with damian because of his family and who he is which might honestly be true. half of the children are seen wanting to befriend him for that reason. but this is why chapter 39 is so special. it shows that they really do love and care for him. they purposefully get in trouble so they can receive the same punishment as him, they try to convince him to go to the movies with them because he needs a break from studying but when they see that he won’t budge they try and make his punishment fun. they tie bed sheets around their necks so they resemble cloaks and pretend to be imperial scholars :( because they know that his dream is to become an imperial scholar

sure, emilie and ewen might not be fan favourites because of how they treat anya but chapter 39 really shows that they have soft spots for damian. they happily fish together and have fun on the field trip. and when damian falls in the water (which is actually shallow enough to stand in) they comically jump in to save him

but my favourite panel is this one, damian actually laughing for once all because of his friends and their company.

what’s even more touching is the faith his friends have in him, they believe he’ll make ostania a better place. that’s because they see all his hard work and effort. unlike his father they recognise everything he does because after being friends for so long they can’t help but admire those things about him.

that’s why people typically don’t understand why the boys call him bossman. i think they assume his friends use it because they think they’re inferior to him because he’s a desmond but that’s not it at all - they simply admire him and his work ethic. that’s why they want to be like him.

i have A LOT of thoughts so if you’d like to hear them keep reading!

what i do find most interesting is franky’s commentary on the obscurity of war in the eyes of soldiers. it sets the framework for loid’s future as a spy. now, hear me out you might be thinking… what the hell do you mean? but his words are relevant.

franky recounts a study where people felt empathy after seeing a video of a man being slapped. however, once these people were told the man was slapped because he cheated on his girlfriend they felt pleasure upon watching the video. the point of franky bringing up the study was to show how the info we are given completely changes our attitudes and perceptions. differences in information are what ultimately drives people apart.

essentially the study was an analogy for the war between the east and west. soldiers fight based on what their respective countries have told them but in franky’s eyes it’s unfair and pointless that the east and west are at war because as he says in the panel below “they tell us to hate each other. so we fight. and then we die. it’s the most pointless thing in the world.”

loid’s response is that ostania started the war, franky says that in ostania they say westalis started the war. this angers loid because from his perspective everything that happened to his friends and family is the fault of ostania. franky notices his very obvious anger and clarifies that all he thinks is that war is pointless as no one really knows what the truth behind the war is. after all, he and loid are merely foot soldiers. how could they know why the war really started in the first place?

and you know what franky is right. it doesn’t matter if westalis or ostania started it because people on both sides die. innocent people die thinking they are fighting for a good cause all because of these differences in information. that is what franky is against, he could care less who actually started what because innocent people end up being used as chess pieces for those higher up in the food chain.

loid confronts franky and mentions his dead friends only for franky to say “well i’m in the same boat.” this links back to his previous statement “and then we die. it’s the most pointless thing in the world.” that statement already made it clear to me that franky himself must have experienced a similar loss to loid’s. once again backing up that civilians in both westalis and ostania have suffered because of the war and that loid is yet to realise that the people over the border share similar experiences to him.

and you know what franky’s response triggers in loid? even more rage. rage that the enemy would ever feel anything close to the pain he felt that day because again to loid the ostanians can’t feel what he felt because to him they started this. they are what caused that hardship. they are what caused his friend’s deaths.

so obviously from everything we’ve read so far, loid clearly doesn’t like ostanians very much because he perceives them to be the cause of everything that happened to the people he loved. that is until he reunites with his friends. his friends who are supposedly dead only… they aren’t dead and they’re standing there, living and breathing.

loid is surprised understandably, but reaches out to them and asks if they’d like to go to dinner in the town over. his friends refuse and say they can’t as they’re being deployed that night. this disappoints loid but he’s simply happy that they’re alive and well.

loid’s relief however doesn’t last long at all because his friends do die out in battle. the reason according to loid is westalis’ poor organisation of the operation and just like that as quickly as they came back into his life they leave. it is upon their loss, a confirmed loss, that he realises how the way he viewed the war was wrong. his final meeting with his friends paired with his conversation with franky make him realise his own ignorance.

franky’s words clearly get through to him and at this point he understands what he really meant to say in the forest. war won’t solve anything, it won’t bring back the people dearest to him. and so he stops seeking out the revenge he aimed for from the start. this part of the manga marks a change in loid, specifically a change in his motivations.

loid decides that he will stand for the people who have it the worst. he decides to stand for children because any war is a war against children, a war against their childhood. he understands that very well after experiencing it himself.

that’s why this chapter is so important, it helps us to see how exactly loid became twilight.

long post!! i take a while to get to yor specifically but hear me out i have a lot to say here!!!

early on in the manga chapter 8.5 loid overhears the neighbour’s speculating he’s having an affair because he returns from work so late. in response to it he thinks “when i get home i have this fake family”. pretty standard, it’s true they aren’t his real wife or child but later on in chapter 55 he no longer refers to yor and anya in that way.

chapter 8.5

chapter 55

nothing makes him think “i still ended up abandoning my family” he does that by his own will. by this point in particular it’s clear that yor’s and anya’s role in his life have crossed the threshold of fake or artificial. he truly does see them as his own. regardless of him saying he cares because of operation strix it’s undeniable that he cares for them too.

moving forward, another very telling piece of evidence that shows loid really sees them as his family is this panel with bond from chapter 58.2

“i want you to think of yourself as a member of the forger family” loid has no reason to say that to… a dog. to be talking like they are really his family to bond who he thinks can’t understand what he’s saying just proves it. he’s got his guard down and admits it because well, let’s be honest who cares if the family dog knows how he really feels? as per usual loid then backtracks and links his thoughts back to operation strix because again. this man is in denial.

loid practically has to throw himself into the role of the loving husband and he plays it incredibly well, why you ask? because he’s never been acting in the first place. it’s honestly quite obvious as a manga reader especially because of a lot of his mannerisms towards anya and yor or the way he thinks about them

the fact that fiona, someone who prides herself in knowing everything about loid notices loid breaking character in chapter 30 says a lot. she says it’s the first time his fake smile has really seemed genuine.

loid and yor know their marriage is fake, they literally know yet when yor gets the wrong idea or feels inadequate as a wife loid always comforts her and tells her she’s great. when she thinks he’ll leave her for someone else instead of saying something like “we’re not even a real couple” he reassures her that he would never leave her and anya. when she feels bad about her cooking he tells her not to worry either and encourages her.

then there’s the infamous “rest up yor” panel

when fiona visits and loid only gets angry when she criticises yor - this is very similar to his reaction towards prof swan in the eden interview arc. he grows defensive easily when people question yor’s capability as his wife

i could go on about yor and loid forever but it’s very obvious he has feelings for her. during the cruise ship arc he says it’s lonely eating dinner without yor and when anya calls him sappy he backtracks, he buys cake for their (fake) one year anniversary but again there’s NO POINT in doing that if they really see each other as fake husband and wife.

when loid is suspicious of yor because of yuri and he spies on her he feels guilty for ever doubting her especially after she later says she’s glad she married him.

frankie tells loid to trust no one and to not feel guilty for doubting her. after all in their line of work trusting people is the last thing you want to do. at this statement loid looks pretty annoyed and tired. then he rips off frankie’s face disguise before telling him to stop lecturing him… 😭😭

but most of all i think this panel is the most convincing.