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really relevant meme for the kids

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also i told my roommate to exercise his rockstar privilege and get me tickets for the usa game on saturday and he just… went online and bought tickets. this world cup is so unserious. nobody can do it like the *boys

*boys

i wanted the nba finals wrapped up before the first uruguay wc game. this is your fuckin’ fault, elmo

i love waking up each morning and deciding whether i’m uruguayan, american, a new yorker, or a jersey boy 😇

highlight of the week: elmo getting bullied on twitter for saying he hoped “both teams have fun” when he’s literally a new yorker. HOW BOUT THEM KNICKS

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last night i kicked a kindle into my face…

my kid’s new favorite obsession: intentionally sneezing on me

#children #kids

so apparently i deserve an entire book dedicated to my selling out. here’s the chapters, courtesy of my roommate:

- first sell out is getting kicked out of your first band

- second sell out is third midtown album

- every cobra album gets a chapter

- any one off singles were super sell outs and get a chapter

- oh wait no slide a chapter in there about all your investments in the late 2000s and mid 2010s

- brotege gets a chapter

- and then a summary that covers things like doing groceries at erewhon and vacation homes and your cars

#but i’m SO NICE

you think you know someone and then they do something as reprehensible as slandering a masterpiece that reached #3 on the icelandic top 40

i want you all to know that this is now a rivals fan blog once again

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also RIVALS?! i’m locked in

me and my kid had grand plans to rob a bank yesterday but we said meh and decided to go to the park instead

#children

hyper aware today of how old my kids are getting and that one day they will LEAVE ME

#children

this is what it looks like when you’ve been in love with your person known your roommate since the 90s

i was today years old when i found out green pesto has nuts in it

#food

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yukon gold must really lord it over their inferior brothers, yukon silver and yukon bronze

don’t talk to me i’m watching the new season of ladies of london

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