rep-whore

In the chapel,

in a bedroom,

in an alley late at night.

Always facing an inflated

godlike

version of some guy.

But as a girl you do what you need to survive.

You open wider, take the body.

Thank your father, you’ve been naughty.

2 Hail Marys, 20 lashings.

“I’ve been sent to punish you for daring to exist.

You will never know a love as meaningful as this.”

I’ve memorized

the lines

since I was 10.

From the Bible,

from the playbook,

from the magazines for men.

If you should mess it up, you’ll start again.

But, still, they only want

the women

they condemn.

I think that I’d have too much fun in hell.

With the pagans

and the hedonists

and sapphics there as well.

Purgatory seems the better fit

I can’t stand waiting in the corner,

but I do love being hit.

There’s not a torture you can prescribe

that I wouldn’t find

a way to like.

Every single second I’m alive

I’m sharpening an axe I’d like to grind.

“I was sent to punish you

for the way I was designed.

You will never know a love

that you fear more than mine.”

1. Stuffing the entire gol gappa in your mouth, and then asking for sukha puri

2. Stuffing an entire rasgulla Or two and trying to eat it with the chashni dripping down your chin

3. Eating kadhi chawal, but there are more pakoras on your plate than there is kadhi.

4. Arguing about the best maggi style

5. Putting garam masala in pasta because IT IS TOO BLAND

6. Eating dal chawal on a low day

7. Sham wali chai with rusk, while looking at the setting sun

8. Making the subah wali coffee when no one is awake

9. Lajpat nagar wali chowmein, which you eat while standing in the damn crowd

10. Sipping piping hot Badam milk in the winters

11. Eating Curd rice with spicy roasted aloo, and having the most amazing nap after

12. Eating Garma garam gulab jamun in the peak of winter

13. MALPUA RABRI

14. Gorging on falooda during those sweltering july days

15. Eating dhabe wali aloo parantha, makhan ke saath

16. MAKKI KI ROTI, SARSON DA SAAG

17. Getting drunk on Diwali wali daaru

18. Sneakily drinking bhang wali dood during holi

19. PANEER TIKKA

20. Eating momos with the tikhi chutney and dying because of the spice

21. HOT Dosa, which is crunchy on the outer edges, but soft on the inside, with spicy sambar and coconut chutney

22. Idlis from the steamer, with onion sambar and mulagapodi

23. Pappu annam and charu, on a Sunday, and then a 4 hour nap

24. Gongura annam, perugu pachadi, on a random saturday, because gongura leaves were leftover

25. That sweet and sour mango pachadi at the peak of mango season

26. Tirunelvelli halwa, fresh from the stove

25. Kesari, with filter coffee, after it has rained