See no future, pay no rent

If a fantasy world has an ancient tree of wisdom, that means it must also have young trees that are dumb as shit. Just giving terrible advice like, "the evil wizard is kinda hot"'

i coul dnever be the captain of a ship. everyday id be like third lieutenant ..... do a backflip lol

your cat was an honor to see in the window

i let my cat sniff dr pepper and she identified all 23 mysterious flavors with ease

I have GOT to stop spending $30

Dalgliesh is so funny to me. He's so miserable. He drives a flashy car. His clothes are impeccable. He wants and doesn't want to kill himself. He confronts a murderer and a drug smuggler unarmed, without back-up, and when said murderer says hey you should jump off this cliff everyone can clock you as a suicidal princess, he even considers it. He's a poet and a policeman. His rhetorical skills come in handy when he talks down a murderer by saying how miserable he is, how stupid the man's plans are and has he considered just going to prison instead?

White boy ALARMS Chinese restaurant staff by bursting into PERFECT Tears instead of ordering

do u mind if I practice my cruelty here. ok thanks

Buy her a bottom surgery and then fuck her in it 👍

ultimately we all have to quit our jobs and walk into the sea

Just steeped my tea for like 30 minutes idgaf im crazy

im only attracted to worthy opponents

aftercare but for your job