quiet, im tired

DO YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES?

ARE YOU A REAL MAN? ARE YOU EATING YOUR FUCKING SARDINES?

ARE YOU GONNA LET THOSE LITTLE SOYBOYS SARDINEMOG YOU? ARE YOU SARDINEMAXXING YOU LITTLE CUCK? EAT YOUR SLOP. EAT YOUR SLOP.

FLASH WARNING!!!!!!

We need to cure this pachient.

I need to do smth with Herobrine MD cause this is so stupid BEHAHAH

Like share subscribe for more medical malpractice or whatever

maid: yes princess?

princess: maid, i need you to jerk me off

maid: .....

princess: right now, maid

maid: no, your highness. i am not doing that

princess: wh- im the princess! you cant say no to me

maid: yes i can, your highness. i am not doing that

princess: awwww man.. but all the fiction i was reading said i could do that

maid: i am afraid fiction is just that, your highness, fiction

princess: can you at least get naked so i can jerk off

maid: no. get some rest, princess, you have to dine with your 5 male suitors tomorrow

princess: no beautiful ladies???

maid: afraid not your highness

princess: oh my god i am never getting laid am i. fuck i hate my life can i abdicate the throne or something

maid: no,

maid: again?

princess: no no.. im sorry.. i'm just. lonely

maid: but your dinner, with the suitors. how did it go?

princess: pretty awfully. i made them all uncomfortable and they decided to look for brides elsewhere. the king is pissed

maid: princess... you must learn how to be well behaved eventually.. this is no way for a lady to conduct herself

princess: yeah yeah i know that its just..i really want another girl to hold me. is that so much to ask

maid: [blushing slightly] well it is quite unbecoming,

princess: maid?

maid: yes, your highness?

princess: can you hold me

maid: is that an order?

princess: no.. i just need it

maid: very well. but just this once, okay? i don't want you getting any ideas..

princess: [sighing wistfully] i understand...

maid: [wraps arms around and holds the princess oh so delicately]

princess: if this was a yuri manga we would be making out right now

princess: maid

maid: e-eep!! princess.. what are you still doing awake?!

princess: can't sleep. lonely. and sad. can you joim me in bed, please?

maid: it would be grossly unprofessional of me to do so. no, your highness

princess: please? just for a second, it'd help me sleep

maid: ...alright. but just for tonight. [climbs in bed next ro the princess but maintains a comfortable distance]

princess: [immediately cuddling up closer to her] maid?

maid: yes, princess

princess: do you think a girl like me is worthy of love?

maid: of course, your highness

princess: then why does this keep happening to me? all i want is another girl to love me

maid: it is quite unfortunate, your highness

princess: [wrapping her arm around the maid and holding her close] do you know you're the only person whos nice to me. everyone else thinks im crazy or like. a bitch

maid: i must admit, you do say things that concern

princess: yeah. do you love anyone, maid?

maid: um. yes. of course

princess: are you with her?

maid: no. i can never be. it wouldn't be right

princess: that's really fucked up. tragic yuri is so sad. i wish somebody would write those girls a happy ending. im sick of being sad and lonely all the time

maid: [nuzzling closer.. blushing a tad] as do i, princess. we all deserve happy endings

princess: maid?

maid: yes, dear

princess: do you wanna get married?

maid: well, i like her

maid 3: well of course You do. you're her maid, it's your job to like her. that doesn't make her any less of a weirdo

maid 2: i heard she only likes girls. apparently she was hitting on one of the wives of a duke. can you believe it?! a duke! it's truly unbecoming

maid: she's just young. she's still learning. be gentle with her.

maid 3: oh please. as if she isn't harassing you every day with her weird sexual fetishes. i'm loyal to the king but i don't know how he puts up with that brat

maid: you should watch your words more carefully, my friend

maid 2: you don't have to be so stuck up all the time, yknow. im sure she gets on your nerves too. c'mon. vent a little. it's good for you

maid: she's a sweet girl, and i think she is just lonely, deep down

princess: [clearly drunk on some royal wine] -hic- heyyyyy maidsss you guys wanna have a *uARp* foursome...? eheheheheheheh

maid 2: see what i mean?

maid: let me escort you back to your quarters, your highness

princess: nooooo hahahahaha wait omggg we should like *urp* go to my quarters and fuck naasstyyyyy

maid 3: i'll go get the king.

maid: no it's alright. i can handle her.

maid: that's nice princess, but you really must be getting ready, your father meets with foreign dignitaries today. he wants you by his side

princess: but whyyyyyy i don't even like foreogn dignitariesssss

maid: well, mayhaps one of them is a cute girl

princess: [jolting upright] maid. dress me.

—AT THE BANQUET—

king: [some boring political shit that doesn't matter]

princess: [sitting next to the princess from the other kingdom] so like what do you do for fun aha

other princess: well, i fancy riding horses myself, my father has quite a large stable im my name. you?

princess: what the fuck you get to ride horses??? thats so bullshit come on. dad. hey dad.

king: [gruffly] what.

princess: can my maid sit with me

king: excuse me? no. make conversation with the other girl

princess: uggghhhhhh this banquet suuuuuucks do you wanna get outta here like maybe go to my chambers

other princess: well, i am curious to see your castle's accomodations

princess: yeahhh haha and we can like get weird maybe

other princess: Excuse me?????

princess: [braiding the other princess's hair] so whats your maid like

other princess: my.. maid??

princess: yea like is she chill or

other princess: Well i haven't the slightest clue. I've spoken nary a sentence to her in all my years that wasn't strictly professional. Does your maid.. speak to you, on a familiar level?

princess: [barely comprehending] uuuuhhhh no lol haha yeah i dont know shit about my maid shes just some lady lol

other princess: I must say, you are quite strange. Do you really spend all your time in your chambers reading this.. erotic fiction? Don't you have hobbies?

princess: why is it hot. am i a hot neet babe. like a sexy neet himejoshi girl

other princess: I- what? No it's just sad, mainly. I feel quite bad for you.

princess: so you'll let me hit?

other princess: I think my father needs me downstairs

—LATER—

princess: maid, am i unlikeable

maid: what? of course not, your highness. there are many things in you i am fond of. why do you ask?

princess: i totally fumbled that other princess. i kinda get the feeling people don't like me

maid: you can have an.. abraisive personality, at times, but that doesn't make you unlikeable. maybe she just wasn't your type

princess: yeah.. probably.. i just really want something, y'know. im so lonely all the time

maid: i'm sure you'll find someone, princess. i believe in you

princess: hey maid?

maid: yes?

princess: thank you. i appreciate you

maid: ...? that's it? no strange sexual remark?

princess: why are you interested

princess: uggggghhh. the queen sent her. she's here to make sure i don't sexually harass anyone

knight: SEXUAL HARASSMENT IS [taps the floor with her spear] WRONG

maid: my goodness.. what happened..?

princess: i scared another noblewoman

maid: again?!

princess: okay. in my defense. she had a huuuuuuuge-

knight: PRINCESS. you know better! watch your tongue, my princess!

maid: gosh.. that must be.. annoying

princess: dude she won't even let me jerk off

maid: what?!

knight: JERKING OFF IS OBJECTIFYING!! TO WOMEN!!

maid: does she have to shout like that?

princess: no she just does that

maid: my goodness.. where do they find these knights

princess: i wish i knew. she's so weird. i don't even think she's got up to use the bathroom at any point during this

maid: have.. you..

princess: YES. and she FOLLOWS ME in there. to make sure i don't jerk off

maid: my goodness princess.. i offer my sincerest condolensces

princess: forget condolensces get her OUT of here!!! she's fucking weiiiirdddd

maid: well.. i'm sure she'll leave soon

princess: i don't even think she's wearing anything under that armor

maid: really?!

princess: yeah. she's probably jerking off under there too

maid: m-my goodness

princess: what a fucking pervert right. like i thought i was weird. i fucking hate this girl

maid: well, let's not be too judgemental

knight: [on the verge of tears] ii can hear everything you're saying, b-by the way. [sniffle]

maid: is.. is she crying?

princess: huh. that's new. she's never done that before

maid: i almost feel bad for her...

princess: don't. she took an "oath" to "serve me", remember

princess: [whispering] shhhh.. [pointing to the corner] she's sleeping

maid: a-ah.. why is she.. n- in the- nu-

princess: naked? yeah. she stripped out of her armor and started crying like crazy. it was pretty rough

maid: my goodness.. you apologized, didn't you?

princess: yeah i tried. she's got a lot of repressed trauma. lotta problems. i really do feel bad for her. did you know her whole family got eaten by a dragon?

maid: w-what?!

princess: yeah. its super fucked. she took it really personally when i said i didn't like her. apparently serving me is the only thing that gives her meaning

maid: awh.. poor thing

princess: yeah. i think she also had some lowkey unrequited feelings going on. like. at me

maid: what did you do?

princess: i put a collar on her. made her my puppy. she's my dog now

maid: you what?!

princess: you shoulda seen her face. she was so estatic. i think thats genuinely the happiest that girl has ever been

maid: p.. princess...

princess: it's not as cool as it sounds though. she doesn't really let me touch her and she cries if i try to have sex. so mostly i just pet her and give her like scraps of food and shit. its kinda lame.

maid: well, at least you have someone to keep you company..

princess: i guess so. she is kinda cute like this

maid: [blushing] a b-bit.. maybe.. does this mean you'll stop making untoward advances at me and the rest of the staff?

princess: are you kidding. i still wanna get laid. dogs don't count. don't they teach you maids anything

knight: ARF!!!!!!

princess: [clearly bored] very good girl, have a crumpet

maid 2: princess. i am here with your dinner. cassandra? is that you?

knight: whiiiiiiine...

princess: wtf where's my usual maid

maid 2: she's busy. what did- what the fuck did you do to her???

princess: i didnt *do* anything*

knight: whiine whiiine

maid 2: cassandra. its me. its okay. resist her magic. im here now

princess: its not magic dude i just let her do what she wanted. why do you keep calling her that. do you two know each other

maid 2: well i'd like to think so. she's my ex girlfriend.

princess: [looking over at the dog and back at the maid] ooooooohhhhhhhh that explains so much. yeah you should probably get out of here

maid 2: excuse me?

princess: yeah you're like kind of an awful person you should get out of here

knight: [hiding behind the princess] please make her go away mommy,,

maid 2: ugh. its not even any of your business but whatever. i will be taking my leave now. [stomping out] bitch..

maid: [running into her on the way out] a-ah! lilia! what are you doing in the princess's tower?

maid 2: your job, idiot. that's the last time i do anything for that inconsiderate brat.

maid: a-ah... did she hit on you..? try to grope you?

maid 2: not this time. but same difference. i don't want anything to do with her. whatever. [stomps off angrily]

—INSIDE THE PRINCESS'S CHAMBERS—

maid: princess, what in the world did you to poor lilia?!

princess: huh? oh you mean maid 2. i didnt do anything to her. all i did was kick her out

maid: kicked.. her out? why?

princess: [motioning over to the knight chewing on a stuffed rabbit toy]

maid: a-aaaahhhhh.. that explains it.. i try not to get involved in such affairs.. why did you do that? it seems unlike you to trouble yourself with such trifles

princess: she was making the puppy uncomfortable. i didnt like it so i told her to go

maid: that's it? you didn't try to touch her or anything right?

princess: why would i do that. i don't even know her. i just didn't want my dog to be sad

maid: wow.. i must say, i'm quite impressed princess. it was very kind of you to stand up for your partner

princess: dude you don't need to make it like that. she's just a dog. i'm still very single

maid: [daydreaming and muttering to herself] a-ah.. i see.. wwow.. maybe we could.. no, that would be improper

princess: huh. did you say something

maid: [flustered] n-no!! i said no such thing

princess: okay.. can you like step out of the room i wanna jerk off

maid: and you aren't even going to ask me to watch?!

princess: [shrug] not really. i mean if you wanna

maid: [dusting] why of course. you were quite the precocious thing. do you remember what i was like?

princess: no, why would i remember that

maid: my mother was your original maid, princess. we spent quite some time together in youth.

princess: no we didn't. my only friend growing up was this tall girl with glasses. she was really pretty. i think she's why i'm a lesbian now tbh

maid: princess..

princess: i remember one time when i was like 11 we went out to the courtyard and we laid on the grass and we looked at the stars and we counted them and i kept making up stories about what theyre doing on all of the different stars in the sky

maid: y-your highness

princess: and she kept giggling at all my jokea and it stuck in my head cus she had the cutest laugh and she turned her head to look at me and she said i was really fun to be around and she wished we could hang out more

maid: princess, really-

princess: [flipping the page] and i remember it so vividly because when she turned to look at me with this. adorable smile. i wanted to kiss her so bad and i didnt even know why. cus id never wanted to kiss someone before in my life. but i was too shy to do it so i just laid there until mommy called me back inside

maid: [blushing profusely] y-you wanted to kiss her, then?

princess: yeah. she was the most beautiful person i've ever met. i think about her constantly. i think she moved away or something cus after a while she stopped hanging out with me and i never saw her again

maid: yeah...

princess: anyways [flipping the page] what did you wanna say earlier

maid: um. it is of little importance

princess: oh okay. whatever [closing the book] you really gotta read this one. its so hot

maid: m-maybe some other time.. did you need anything else, princess?

princess: nah you can go. oh actually. bring some crumpets for the dog

maid: very well, princess.. i will return later with treats [stepping out and walking down to the kitchen]

— KITCHEN —

maid: hey rudy, i need some crumpets for the princess

head chef: oh hey yeah i can do that, crumpets coming right up

maid: [sighing] can i talk to you about something? girl to girl?

head chef: of course, what's up girl

maid: i just. i can't get this girl out of my head.

head chef: oh god not her again. you gotta move on. you know she's not right for you

maid: yeah i know it's just. ugh. she can be so sweet sometimes. like maybe if she had someone looking out her she could finally get her life on track

head chef: [putting a tray in the oven] it doesn't have to be you, though. you don't have to fix everyone, yknow

maid: yeah.. i know.. i just.. [sighing] i can't stop thinking about her..

head chef: you really gotta let her go. you'll find the right person for you eventually.

maid: i know... i know.. i just. urgghh

head chef: yeah. i feel you. oh yeah also, you left your glasses here earlier

maid: oh thank goodness. i was worried i loat those

head chef: yeah don't worry i held onto them. you should wear em more, you look cute in them

maid: yeah, maybe.. thanks for the talk rudy. i have a lot to think about

head chef: no worries, always happy to help. good luck with the princess

maid: h-huh?! i didn't say–

head chef: i mean with the crumpets, silly. you can be very funny at times

jester: that is SO awesome omgz

princess: yeah. its cool. but anyways. it turns out the little ass cat guy, right, this motherfucker is actually secretly evil the whole nime

jester: no frickin way

princess: right?! like holy shit

jester: ur really kewl princess :3

princess: yeah thanks, so anyways. this one is aboit a peasant girl who gets transported to another realm. and becomes the demon lord. but like, sexy demon lord

jester: [nuzzling up close to her] heheh these books r awesome its so kewl that u like dis stuff

princess: yeah so anyways. shes accompanied by her best friend whos like this ditzy airheaded girl whos always like unintentionally foiling her plans

jester: [burying her head in her chest] uh huh

princess: but over the course of their misadventures they get like super close right. and like. they realize they kinda have feelings for each other

jester: i like where dis is going x3

princess: yeah and like at the peak they kiss and its really cute and like totally fixes the demon lord and its really cu-

jester: [leaning in and kissing her]

maid: [walking in without announcing heraelf and noticing them kissing, immediately going red ans turning back around]

princess: [not noticing] they uh. i like you and all but i dunno if this is a good idea

jester: awh c'mon :3 just once ?

princess: well. I guess i am pretty lonely

jester: YAYYYYYY [immediately starts getting naked]

— LATER —

maid: [walking in, the princess is naked and nursing a bottle of wine] dinner. i brought crumpets for the dog.

princess: heyyyy i was wondering where you were girl. i had sex today

maid: [clearly a little upset] i can tell. how was it, your highness?

princess: hmm

princess: i actually don't think i liked it very much

maid: h-huh?!

princess: it was kinda unpleasant actually. yknow i realized something

maid: what's that..?

princess: i think this whole time ive been thinking what is to get laid, but i think really i just want to be loved. like that did not fix me at all

maid: really..? you want that?

princess: [taking a big glug of her bottle] or maybe i just wanted her to sit on my face. that probly wouldve made it a little better

knight: awrrrf!! arf!! [sits down with a huge smile on her face

princess: hmhm.. i see.. [picking up a random stuffie] go fetch

knight: [runs over and picks the stuffie up and brings it back with a really big smile]

princess: hmm. hey howd you like to sleep in bed with me tonight

knight: awrrf?

princess: you can speak if you want to

knight: wrrf.. u-um.. well.. if it's allowed..

princess: i dunno. must get pretty lonely on the floor there

knight: [nodding really fast]

princess: alright. yeah. you can sleep with me tonight.

knight: WRF!!! wff wrff wrf!!!

princess: alright that's nice girl. do you uh. hey. do you wanna like. have sex with each other

knight: [turning her head] a-are you sure..? i mean.. is that allowed? i don't w-wrf.. wwanna get between you and your maid..

princess: we aren't like. a couple or anything. and i wanna see something

knight: [climbing into bed and nuzzling her. she's much bigger than the princess so she takes up most of the bed] well.. as long as its okay..

princess: yeah. and youll like do what i want, right?

knight: wrrrf.. i t-took an oath.. remember

princess: yeah but like. consensually. like if you dont wanna you can say no

knight: just don't hurt me and we'll be okay mmommy

princess: haha you don't have to call me that. and don't worry. i'm not into that. just. a couple things i want to explore

knight: okay ❤️ yay ❤️

— LATER THAT NIGHT —

princess: huh.

knight: [still panting] w-wow, yyour highness,, wrrrff,,

princess: weird. weeiirrdd. i don't know what to do with that.

knight: [perking up suddenly] i-is everything okay?!

princess: yeah everythings okay just. hmm. i didn't enjoy that as much as i thought i would

knight: you d-didn't like that?!

princess: no, no i did, just.. idk like. i thought id be feeling really good after but i kinda just don't feel that much at all. like last time.

knight: y-you had fun though, rright?!

princess: yeah of course. you were great. i had lots of fun. thanks for sitting on my face.

knight: pphew.. okay.. well.. as long as you have fun its okay.. [nuzzling close to her and rubbing her head against the princess]

princess: yeah. you're probably right. [shutting her eyes]

knight: [yawning] mrrrhhhf.. get ssome rest your highness.. you've earned it..

princess: i will. just..

[waiting for the knight to sleep]

princess: ughhhh come on not this shit again

prince: ah.. my beautiful dashing princess.. as charming as ever.. your sight is like that of a warm summers da-

princess: yeah you don't have to do that shit. i'm not interested.

prince: eheheh.. you remain quite the prickly pear, i see. no matter, i happen to "like" those.. truly, a fruit with a hard exterior tends to be soft and sweet beneath~

princess: that doesn't even make sense. pumpkins are hard as shit and they taste awful inside and they arent even soft theyre puply and full of seeds and shit.

king: hrrgh. i can't hear any more of this. i am leaving. you will respect the boy, you two are to be wed one day. [stomps off to his throne room]

prince: allow me passage to your room, young maiden?

princess: we are not fucking. i don't even like you. i don't even know your name

prince: my name? why, my name happens to Michael

princess: are-

princess: are you fucking kidding me

prince: what..?

princess: is your name actually Michael

prince: yes this is- this is the fourth time i've told you that

princess: no fucking way. that's so fucking funny. are you telling me you are Prince Mike

prince: soon to be king michael, for your information. my father is aging and soon to pass on the throne.. you could be.. [blowing a kiss] my queen..

princess: dude can you seriously take the hint. i don't even like dudes. i'm a lesbian

prince: is the fruit of a rotted tree still not worthy of bearing new life?

princess: what the fuck does that MEAN. why are you like this!!

prince: i am nothing short of what a beautiful beast like you deserves.. love, everlasting

princess: do not fucking start with that love everlasting shit michael i will actually kill you

prince: AHA! so you DO remember my name!

princess: what fucking ever dude. go jerk off to me in your shower or something. i am never going to let you hit

prince: that is.. most unfortunate.. perhaps one day i may persuade you to change your mind, young delicate thing..

princess: dude i'm older than you

prince: well... whatever....

— AT THE OTHER CASTLE —

prince: come close my man.. i think i have more to discuss

manservant: yes, my liege?

prince: i believe i totally fumbled that princess. i haven't the slighest clue how to talk to women.

manservant: women have never been your forte, sir.

prince: [cracking open a volume of Beautiful Boy's Club at Youuseki High] no, they have not, my good man. do you think there is a boy out there for me, my man?

manservant: i believe the right person exists for all, and i see no reason for you to be the exception

prince: well.. perhaps.. i do not want to marry that princess, however

manservant: and why would that be, your highness

prince: well. number one, i'm gay. quite gay. gay as shit. and number two, she suuuuuuuuuuuucks. she sucks sooooooo fucking hardddddddd she fucking suuuuuuuucks

manservant: perhaps a sucking is what you need, sire

princess: so you're kinda like my sister, right.

bastard daughter: well, literally speaking, yeah. half, at least. are you even supposed to be up here. i thought i was supposed to be like a great shameful secret

princess: i mean i come up here all the time don't i

illegitimate princess: like once a month maybe

princess: that's more than anyone else

illegitimate princess: Well I Fucking Guess

princess: so like. agh. fuck i have so much shit bothering me and like. i have nobody to talk to about it. like normally i would talk to my maid but she's never around lately. plus i think she doesn't like it when i talk about this stuff

illegitimate princess: well that's not surprising. you're probably trying to hit on her again, right

princess: actually no. i haven't been doing that much lately

illegitimate princess: wow. nice going sis. character growth wasnt something i expected from you

princess: i dont know. like. i spend so much time like pining, right. i read all these stories but like. like i had sex twice in the last week and i felt nothing

illegitimate princess: i do not need to know about my little sister's sexual habits. oh yeah did you bring any of those yuri manga. i really need new ones. pretty much the only thing i do up here is jerk off

princess: [dropping off a stack of books] see that's how i know we're sisters

illegitimate princess: okay well. i'm not like you. i do it out of necessity. if i could, i'd probably be like. doing diplomacy and shit. like be out there in the world. making paintings. talking to merchants. traveling the kingdom

princess: yeah anyways so like. like what if i dont just want sex? like what if i want to be loved?

illegitimate princess: well duh. everybody wants to be loved

princess: huh. i guess it sounds kinda obvious when you put it like that

illegitimate princess: im surprised you didn't know that already. i guess you don't go out much

princess: neither do you!

illegitimate princess: well okay. that's a recent development. before the king tracked me down and locked me in here i was doing like a ton of shit. i was a big player in the criminal underworld

princess: you were?!

illegitimate princess: yeah. i had crazy sex parties. we would go wild. like totally fucked up and like some downright morally questionable shit. you know this is one of the first times youve asked anything about me

princess: oh.. sorry.. um.. wow.. do you think you could show me..?

illegitimate princess: we're sisters, that would be weird

princess: i didn't even know you existed until like 4 years ago

illegitimate princess: well. okay, good point.

princess: so you'll teach me?!

illegitimate princess: don't get ahead of yourself, tiger. if you ask me, i think you should tell this maid of yours how you really feel. be honest with her. the girl clearly cares about you, so make it known you do too

princess: but that's the thing, i HAVE been making it known. i tell her how much i appreciate her all the time, i even compliment her massive boobage and everything. like she's one of the only people in this whole castle thats real with me. other than you of course

illegitimate princess: gee, thanks

princess: i dunno. i just want to be loved. and i know my doggy loves me, i mean that much was clear when we had sex the other night, but

illegitimate princess: pause. did you just say you had sex with your dog

princess: oh sorry, that's just what i call my knight. its a whole thing

illegitimate princess: oh okay yeah i get that. i used to do a lot of that back in the day. continue

princess: i dunno. i feel like the kind of the love i need is different. like i feel like i need it from. from like.

illegitimate princess: yeah yeah you need it from your maid. just tell her how much she means to you and hope she feels the same

princess: well. maybe. i dunno. i'm still sorting out how i feel

illegitimate princess: okay well. let me know when you get there. i'm glad i could help at least

princess: yeah thank you. i appreciate your input so much. for someone i barely know who grew up in completely different circumstances than me, we really are remarkably like sisters

illegitimate princess: maybe we have like some kinda fucked up lesbian gene

princess: i guess i havent spoken to mom much. maybe shes like this too

illegitimate princess: [shrug]

illegitimate princess: hey so can you help me get out of here

princess: i'll see you soon sis thanks for the chat

illegitimate princess: [sighing] yeah, sure. no problem kid.

princess: [stomps down the spire back to her room]

maid: [stepping in to do her nightly cleaning. noticing the princess is gone] princess..? where are you? oh, hello cass- ahem, puppy, do you know where the princess is?

knight: [shaking her head]

maid: strange. it's not like her to leave her tower at all, especially not so late

knight: [nodding her head]

maid: [setting down her cleaning supplies and taking a seat on the foot of the princess's bed] say.. u-um, doggy.. you know i've never spoken to you very much 1 on 1 like this..

knight: wrrf.. [shakes her head[

maid: well, i suppose you can't speak much currently.. but.. i don't know.. you and the princess have um, relations, right?

knight: [nodding her head]

maid: a-ah.. so.. you two are partners then, right?

knight: [pausing.. looks up for a second.. shakes her head]

maid: i see.. can i tell you something? will you promise not to tell?

knight: [shaking her head really fast]

maid: [sigh] alright. well. i believe i may have feelings for the princess.

knight: [gasp]

maid: i know, i know. i've been wrestling with it for quite some time. but. i don't think she likes me very much, is the issue.

knight: wrrf..?

maid: huh?

knight: ugh- i mean. ddoesn't she flirt with you all the time?

maid: well that's different. she does that to everyone with a pulse..

knight: hmm.. can i tell you something..?

maid: yes?

knight: well, you know how i've been staying with the princess in her quarters, right?

maid: yes..

knight: well, the reason i mention that is, every night right before you come to bring her dinner, she gets up and fixes her hair and arranges herself on the bed to look as beautiful as possible

maid: what?!

knight: i know.. i thought it was weird at ffirst too, but.. i think, i think she really wants you to like her

maid: she does..? hmm.. well i guess.. she does ask me to hold her quite often...

knight: yes, she does. i think she really likes you, honestly. maybe mmore than she likes me.. but that's okay. i don't mind being her pet

maid: hmm.. i see.. but even if we both feel that way, there's no gaurantee we would even be a particularly good match..

knight: can i be h-honest?

maid: speak freely, canine

knight: wrrf.. i don't know if you ttwo would be a good match. i wish i did, but i don't. what i do know is, that girl really loves you. a lot. maybe more than anybody else, even if she.. hasn't realized it fully, yet.. but. she listens to you.. she wants to be good for you.. i'm not ggoing to tell you what to do, but.. just keep that in mind, okay?

maid: hm.. well.. this is a lot to think about, definitely. i appreciate your words. you are a very good girl, cassie. thank you.. [scratching behind her ears]

that way we know we’re from tumblr without revealing anything

I’m just going to say this to strangers until i find a tumblr person

must keep reblogering!! Im going to be so suspicious if any one tells me this now!

Remember the answer is: I stole them from the president.

Scout: Dueling grounds?

disclaimer: this is a hc, not speculating on what the writers intentions were.