remy danielson

Are you fucking stupid? I’m gonnna go with yes, so I’ll put this as nicely as I can. Someone we all really care about on this campus is in a fucking coma after being in an accident. So why don’t you find any other term to use?

Would you prefer if it if I used the term boredom induced sleep?

I’m not sad, I literally just got here and I have nothing to be sad about. If you’re bored do something with your life.

But everyone else seems dull and unimportant, so I'll be on my own like Mister Billy no mates.

I don’t think you want me to be the one catching you. While I am fierce and strong enough to push most people down the stairs, you’re rather tall and overpowering.

Finally my work in the gym has paid off!

Twisted. You’re also probably going to get punched in the face if people hear you joking about comas.

Will you beat me up if I make another one?

Who knows, Danielson. Just the other day I spent half an hour trying to convince someone that the green bean I was holding was just one long pea and it wasn’t until they took it off me I realised I was actually holding a full grown potato. Life is a mystery.

Your amazing stories fill my life with joy and happiness.

Of course, I have a whole album on my phone dedicated to those dancing queens.

Tell me, what would you be if you dated a lady boy? Seeing as they are both.

Let’s hit up the strip clubs and watch some freaks get it on.

Can we take selfies with the lady boys?

It’s almost all lemonade, Scout’s honour.

Alana, we both know you're full of shit.

I’m not a fan of it because one of my best friends is in a coma. And don’t call me dear.

Why can't I call you dear? Do you have a boyfriend?

Don’t say coma.

What the fuck is wrong with you?

If you're this feisty during the introduction, I wonder what you're like in bed.

Please do not say coma again.

Are you not a fan of the word, dear? Would you prefer it if I said deep sleep?

Oh dear, I don’t think that’s the right way to go about introducing yourself, Stranger. Everyone’s solemn because someone is in a coma as we speak. 

Is she considerably attractive, Stranger? I do hope I'm not missing out.