You Can Call Me Queen Bee

That’s me. Those are my only qualities, actually. -And I’m definitely kidding. Nope, I don’t know what you’re talking about. Hard candy is hard candy just like lollipops are lollipops. What else would they be? Maybe you’re the pervert here. Oh, you probably just forgot that you tripped because you were trying to block out such a shitty experience. Do it and let me know what you think. If it weren’t for innuendos, I doubt we’d even be talking this much.

I don't find that hard to believe, you have other qualities on the outside so you're good. I don't believe you're kidding, I'm going to believe you completely. Yup, sure, hard candy is hard candy, lollipops are lollipops, just like they've always been. Oh I know I have a perverted mind, I just tend to embrace it instead of suppress it. Last time I checked I didn't trip, fall on the ground then roll under the bleachers and did the dirty. At least from my memory, maybe you'd be right if it was a shitty experience, but it wasn't. I'll put whiskey in a water bottle and drink it all day. That's a fact actually because 90% of our conversation has been innuendos.

Trust me, as soon as the words came out of your mouth I knew what you meant. I was just curious on whether or not you’d actually elaborate. That’s how all guys have sex. We sit on benches, waiting for clumsy girls to come along and fall on our dicks. I think you can learn about it on the Discovery Channel or something. For me, I sort of just wake up and say, “might as well get drunk.” The possibilities are endless when innuendos are involved.

Ah so you are a sneaky bastard with a perverted mind. What if I meant that I like hard candy hmm? Or lollypops, your mind would have taken those two things into something different, didn't they? Is it really, hmm, the more you know. And how about under the bleachers, I'm sure a person doesn't just, accidentally trip and fall there. Because I've had sex there and I don't recall tripping. Can you really? I guess I better pop some popcorn and have a marathon watching it. I don't wake up like that but in the end of the day it usually ends up like that. Ah, gotta love innuendos.

Again, there goes my mind. But I’m gonna ask you to elaborate on these hard things regardless. So do you just mind your own business until you trip and fall on some guy’s dick? Is that how accidental sober sex happens? I’m kidding, I know what you mean. True, and it’s definitely more fun that way.

I didn't think there was a need for elaboration, you're a guy, use your imagination on what I'm mean when I say, hard things. That's exactly how it happens, I trip and fall on some guy's dick, didn't you know that's how sex works? Mhm, tripping and falling on someone's dick and you're like, "oops, we had sex, might as well get drunk." At least everyone gets all the innuendos, that's one of the many benefits.

That was a test and you passed. I like a girl willing to go for the harder stuff. Oh, wow. I meant ‘fucked’ as in had sex. Pretty sure my mind is permanently in the gutter.

Thank you, I think. I like a lot of hard things actually, you'd be surprised. Well you can be sober and accidentally have sex with someone and need to drink, I mean, that's happened to me a bunch of times. It's alright, I'm pretty sure all of our minds are in the gutter.

You get a shot of your choice for agreeing with me. Whiskey or vodka? Pick your poison. I really thought it was get fucked up then get fucked. Be my guest.

Well that's a hard choice, but I think I'll go with whiskey, I prefer the harder stuff. It goes both ways, I mean, if you're fucked, drink. If you're not fucked, well...drink.

Why is everyone so solemn here? Catch me before I fall into a boredom induced coma.

I'm not sad, I literally just got here and I have nothing to be sad about. If you're bored do something with your life.

I’m super confused as to why some people think that drinking is exclusive to weekends. If I wanna get fucked up on a Monday, I’m gonna get fucked up on a Monday. -And hell, you should join me.

That's the truest statement I've heard my whole life. All day, everyday drink. But it should be if I fuck on Monday I'm gonna get fucked up on a Monday. I'd gladly join you.

I was being just a tad bit sarcastic.

Just a tad? More like, very but it's all good.

Thanks for the words of wisdom and the pity.

Not pity, just wisdom and you're welcome.

That’s what him and I tried to do but then we got into a fight and he came up with the bright idea to tell her about it. Otherwise it’d be in the past where it fucking, sorry, freaking belongs. Yes, I love him but I can’t exactly tell him that without causing drama that I don’t have time for. Oh and did I mention that the best friend previously mentioned is also my sorority sister?

Are you sure your whole life isn't being filmed because it honestly sounds like a Tele Novella. I'm going to say this in the nicest way possible but that was a dick move, you don't just give out that information. I don't mind if you curse I do it all the time. Like I said, if it's true love, it will find it's way. That's what I believe at least. That's- That's not good, and you have to see her everyday and act like everything is alright, I'm sorry.

That’s my problem though. He’s not my boyfriend, he’s her boyfriend. And she just found out we dated in the past so she’s mad. Or well not mad but hurt and betrayed I guess. Which she shouldn’t be because we had a good reason not to tell her.

Oh I see, the whole best friend's boyfriend thing? I mean, what's in the past is in the past, all you can do is move forward from now and it doesn't really matter if you guys dated in the past. Is he the guy you're in love with?

That came out wrong. It’s just I’m pretty positive that I lost one of my best friends today and to top it all off her boyfriend is the only guy I’ve ever loved. Only he hates me now because I cheated on him and then acted like he meant nothing to me. Okay now I’m unloading on you, I apologize.

Well, it seems as if you had a pretty eventful day. Sorry to tell you this but if they can just walk away from you then maybe they weren't your best friends in the first place. Not to be rude or anything but I don't know you, I don't know what you did and it doesn't really matter. I've learned from experience that best friends are supposed to be with you even when they can't stand you. And as for your boyfriend, if he's your true love, he'll always find his way back to you. Hey, I don't mind, I've been told I'm a great listener.

Well there goes my plan to make you go away, I’m Peyton.

Well if you wanted me to leave I can, you just looked like you needed someone to talk to.

If I said yes would you continue to talk to me?

Even if you said no I'd still talk to you, I'm Kenna by the way.

Are you okay?