remonblaze

there is a deep sense of not giving a fuck in me with which i don't know how to battle

i think if i dont get to study physics and become a physicist i will die

i need to be up in an hour to get ready for work and i havent slept for a second all night... fun

yeah so about my sickness it got kinda worse??? i think my sinuses are clogged or something and it affects my ears, they are clogged as well and my right ear aches a bit and it's also giving me a little tooth pain??? i don't feel like sick sick anymore but this is honestly worse omg i will go see an ENT tomorrow 😞 i get clogged ears often ever since i was a kid and it makes me feel SO claustrophobic i have anxiety attacks. spending one more night like this before seeing a doc genuinely scares me...

i had been sick since monday night and i need to get up and going tomorrow!!! (well technically today) i'll shower first thing in the morning, eat breakfast, prepare my bag and GO OUT!!! i need to be out in the sun (even though weather is shit this week...) bc i can literally felt my brain agonizing in pain these last 3-4 days. i'll study at some museum's cafe. i will hit the gym after dinner.

i have started studying math after like... 3 years. i'm just so happy to do it it's so fun 😭

why does this app need an update every time I open it

I've been spending so much money on takeout and stuff i need to do like an aggressive cut from that bc my money is running low... tmrw I'll go get korean with my friends, and this was a plan we made a LONG time ago, after that I'm locking in!!!

living in a dorm that doesn't have a student kitchen & where having an air fryer, electronic pot or anything of that sort is banned (even if it wasn't we don't have a space for those) and only thing we can have (which is also banned but small enough to hide) is a water boiler and trying to eat healthy is SO fucking hard. and we don't have as much pre-cooked healthy options as usa in my country i'm about to lose it!!!! i just want a damn kitchen bro 😭😭😭

i think i got a cold... bro

people are so weird... so so weird and i am too neurodivergent to navigate this world peacefully

this is one of the craziest months i ever had... it isnt even over yet

i have a week left before uni starts i cannot believe it's my 3rd year 😭😭😭 bc of depression my first year feels like it didn't happen at all and i am so incredibly stressed that i am already half way down with uni and i feel like there is a ticking clock at my back