Hmehmm

the thing is, i'm pathetic. you'll watch me try and try again and again and still be a hopeless novice. you'll grimace with embarrassment when i fail again and again but continue to try and win. and the thing is, i'm pathetic, in the way that i'm a try-hard wannabe who's not really that good at anything at all. but you'll watch me, with pity, as i finally manage to achieve something average, and you'll watch me, as you're about to lose all the patience you have (or maybe your patience is already lost), as i succeed.

Howl truly is the man of all time. He’s a playboy. He’s a malewife. He fell in love with a ninety year old woman. He’s a rugby player. He smells like hyacinths. He’s not a natural blond. When dying his hair went slightly wrong, he filled his home with slime. He has a PhD. He’s a wizard. He found a way to another universe and he told absolutely nobody about it. He makes video games about the magical universe for his nephews. He can’t play the guitar. He always takes a guitar with him when he’s trying to seduce a woman. He’s a self-proclaimed coward. He got drunk to trick himself into doing something dangerous. He overcharges for his services to rich people. He undercharges for his services to poor people. A woman invaded his home and declared herself his cleaning lady and he just let her stay. He loves spiders. He lies about his surname to everyone, including royalty. The true spelling of his first name is Howell, but we don’t find out until halfway through the book because the POV character thinks it’s spelled Howl. He’s even Welsh.