I'm dying and trying But believe me I'm fine

What do i do when im soossoso scared.

I was so fuzzy these past few days, I think I'm making a mistake thinking about the other mes. What will They think about all this? I sound crazy I sound like a faker. I need to get over this quick

I feel wrong venting on the same account at that dead me. I'm the one that killed her or replaced her or whatever and I dont think I'm supposed to remember her. Or maybe she turned into that other grayer me. Maybe I pushed her into it. Maybe it ate her. But that it is supposed to be me to. I don't like him very much. He's really mean to me. Then again this is his blog. I'm sorry

I feel so fragmented. There's a me in there that's hiding something I know it is

I have a stable career ahead of me, a soon to be empty house I can enjoy, friends finally, and I almost actually fully relapsed in the bathroom of this train. A whole future right there, and still I want literally nothing more than a bullet to the head. I feel like I'm walking my own death march

Crawling your way back into recovery is so funny. Like hi thank you for this job interview- where do I see myself in 5 years? Tbh Brenda up until 2 days ago I thought I was just going to kill myself so I'm not looking long term quite yet

It's weird. It's like I'm all smoothed over from the sharp static of before but now I'm just stuck at the same emotion range at all times. And that baseline is annoyingly suicidal.

Hey question after you snap out of a severe suicidal episode how long until the guilt and shame leave? And how do I make it go faster because it's ironically making me want to die

Pro Tip #69: Tell the people you live with that you're learning shibari so they aren't suspicious when you practice tying a noose 👍