the unforgiving minute

Charles: Hold my beer

On the steps of hell, they both make sure that the other knows how much they are loved and I don't think there's anything that sums their relationship up better.

Things jump out to me way more upon rewatch.

I'm a masochist and I love to torture myself emotionally :)

anyways.

Can I offer you a meme in this trying time

and that's that on first meetings

I drew another piece for the zine, but I’ll post it at a later time as it’s going to be an illustration for one of my own fics, namely another installment of my Wispy-Verse series.

#that guy is like oh thank god i can wash off all this blood and just relax now#edwin needs to be protected not because he is a weak and defenseless damsel in distress in constant need of rescuing. but because he spent#73 years rescuing himself over and over again with no one who wanted to stand up for him but HIM and he is. so so so tired#dbda#charles rowland#edwin payne#dead boy detectives

i know these tags are rhetorical but excavating charles rowland like i'm holding a jackhammer is one of my favourite pastimes so like. i think maybe he does know most (if not all) of this. but the thing about charles rowland is that something that he knows, and something he believes are very, very different things. i think he could have known he had shitty friends, i think he held onto the belief that maybe they could be different. there were probably days where they were his friends, maybe there were days where they did care about him. maybe that's what makes their betrayal cut the hardest. maybe he knew there was something missing with them. maybe charles was just a 16 year old boy, maybe he didn't think too hard about it. maybe he had his own moments where he was a little bit like the boys who would hurt him. maybe he isn't perfect. maybe he finally saw something and he knew he needed to draw the line and it backfired in the most awful of ways. i think he knew he should feel safe but he could easily delude himself into believing that he was. oh dad smashing that tape? well that's normal. that's just wednesday. that's no big deal, really. it's just a tape. it's not charles. not this time. the thing about charles rowland is he can convince himself to believe he's living in the reality he wants. the thing about charles rowland is there is always a brick wall up between him and Something. the thing about charles rowland is that if there's Something he doesn't want to look at head on, he simply chooses not to. mr. all i need is a case and my best mate. he holds onto the belief that it's all okay, because when he believes something that makes it true. so does he know he deserves good things? well, sure, in theory. everyone deserves good things, don't they? but does he believe it? well. let's look over here instead.

I imagine he had a lot of catching up to do