darling boy, where are your teeth?

Actually so funny to think about "Beach Reads" AND "What to Expect on Your Trip" from Rosemary's perspective. Imagine your coworker is throwing a cocktail party that she's obsessing over and she asks you to get supplies for it and it's a bunch of esoteric herbs and charms and shit. And then you attend it (the same day your boss comes in with a perpetually bleeding wound that aligns with a dangerous local legend) and she's making punch out of animal blood and wearing antlers on her head and speaking in tongues to an enchanted crowd but you can't say much about it because you want to be supportive. She snaps out of it and everything ends up okay but then you get a call from her the following evening and next thing you know you've got your boss straight zonked out of his gourd in the backseat of your car when all you want to do is some scratch offs. You bring him home but you have to stay with him because he's totally freaked out about his son and then you get to witness some of their family drama before you're finally free to leave. You then hear nothing at all from him for two days straight

"work in progress" is actually so misleading like it assumes that im actually making progress on my work

My cow had a baby IF YOU CARE!!!!

but ykw at least i'm not on mount everest. at least i'm not paying tens of thousands of dollars to slowly suffocate in a 300-person line at the gates of hell. never in my life will i have to be steered in a hypoxic stupor through the maze of poop and corpses atop mount everest. on this earth a lot of horrible things can happen to you without your permission but there are a few that you have to opt into. you can just say no thanks! and be guaranteed never to have to be on mount everest. much to be grateful for actually

still not on mount everest this morning 😌 alhamdulillah

at the start of the game karlach and astarion are absolutely fucking reeling from being suddenly freed and are in a state of manic joy that would probably seem alien to them like a week ago, while gale has been locked in his depression tower for so long he's almost completely forgotten how to talk to people. shadowheart has not a single fucking clue whats going on because shar keeps slurping up her memories and lae'zel is literally in the midst of her ultimate nightmare scenario and trapped on an alien planet with a bunch of jackasses who have no idea whats happening. so almost everyone has experienced a situational personality shift and isn't quite the person they were a year before you met them. EXCEPT Wyll. Who is just like "this isnt even the weirdest thing thats happened to me this month." my man got scooped up, tadpoled, and slammed back and said "oh well, not gonna ruin my day" and went about his business teaching self defense to children and slaying evil beasts. He didn't even seem confused he literally did not give a shit. no urgency. He's like "I'll put that in my day planner but is gonna have to wait until after i hunt down this demon." When you recruit him there is no sense of "oh man we really gotta help each other because we have the same problem" he just would have said yes because you asked and he's wyll. Or because you told him he could kill mindflayers. He'd be like "sick" and done, no questions asked. Just another Tuesday for the blade.

Wyll Ravenguard the man that you are ❤️

Wyll appreciation 💯