change the world

But at least I made it to 12% progress on Codecademy.

I don't know the path to entrepreneurship but at this point it feels like my only shot at surviving.

I do know it is lonely.

next up, i've got a follow up interview that i'm really nervous about on friday cause I feel I'll have to lie about myself to really prove worthy of getting the job. with all my insecurities and sadness though, it feels like the only way to get the healthcare I really need.

i'm telling myself that if I don't get it, it's not the end of the world and to keep working on myself, personal projects, and an education (bme) I feel can really make a difference in my life. and if i do get it, i'll be able to properly fund them and have the bonus of healthcare.

it's taken 9 months to get here 9 months of navigating a new state going back to square one relearning a world I had left almost a decade ago making choices and then backing out hitting the highest of highs and dropping to the lowest of lows drinking, crying, to the sounds of Japanese, English, and Spanish lyrics C++, python, html, css, javascript linear algebra, calculus, geometry present to take on all the responsibility ghosted to understand anything medical the desire to run away for the 5th time in order to finally be free and true to myself it took 9 months, an acceptance letter a job market with empty promises one suicidal hotline call later a 2 week resignation notice 2 friends finally obtained and a numbness that has gone on too long to ignore to finally choose me > everyone else