Relationships Access

Feelings can be elusive or overwhelming, so knowing what you feel is not always easy. When you understand your own thoughts, feelings, and reactions will improve your relationships, because understanding yourself makes it easier to communicate with others. Seek to understand what you feel, how much of it is related to the present moment, current events, your physical state, and how much is related to your personal history. Caring about what you feel and knowing more about it actually makes you more compassionate, empathetic, and caring toward others. Awareness and understanding of your own feelings also means you'll be much more intelligent about others' feelings-that is, you'll have the wisdom of your own feelings to help you sort out when others' feelings are real or deceptive.

If you're upset, confused or feeling emotionally overwhelmed, knowing how to sort out your feelings can help you figure out what's going on inside and help you get what you want and need.

Notice your feelings. Are you anxious, tense, or worried about something? Are you calm? Focus on your breathing and feel the body sensations that go with it-the cool air coming in, the rhythm of your lungs expanding and deflating. If you pay attention to your breathing for a little while, it helps you be more aware of your feelings. Are you reacting emotionally to your surroundings? If it's noisy, are you annoyed? If it's too quiet, are you uneasy? If you're warm and comfy, do you feel peaceful and soothed? It's usually easier to feel feelings if you give them a little time to rise to the surface and if you're in a place where you won't be disturbed, but they are moving through you every moment of every day. When you take the time to notice them, you can often use that information to help you handle situations wisely.

Whether you realize it or not, there is a lot of chatter going on in your mind. At this moment, you may be arguing or agreeing with what you're reading, or commenting on whether you think this is helpful, or criticizing or worrying about whether you're doing it correctly. Bits of songs, movie or TV dialogue, or conversations from other times and places may be running by like a background soundtrack. Sit and listen for a few moments, and try to identify each thought that goes by. With a little practice, you'll become aware of a "soundtrack" composed of memories, thoughts, criticisms, background noise, TV, music, movies, the news, and other noises you've recorded in your lifetime.

If you practice this awareness of your inner thoughts and feelings, you'll soon be able to quickly sort out what's going on with you, and, if you do it repeatedly over several days, you'll find that your self-knowledge grows rapidly. After a few weeks, you'll be much more aware of your own body, your feelings, and your thoughts. Once aware, you have a chance to manage and/or change them to be more effective for you. Accurate awareness of your thoughts, feelings, and actions is the key to understanding and communicating them.

Being curious about your emotions and thoughts will lead you to understanding and to explanations of things that, until now, have been mystifying. What's underneath your depression, your anxiety, your impulsive behaviors, your out-of-control emotions? Getting interested in what you think and feel, as you would be in what is going on with your friend, your spouse, or your children will help you improve your relationship with yourself and with others.

Your own emotions tell you what others' feelings are. We can sense how someone feels without being told. By comparing what our other senses tell us about others (smiles, frowns, tension, "prickly vibes," relaxed breathing, and an indescribable type of data we call empathy) with what we know about our own inner feelings, we draw conclusions about what other people are feeling. Without being told, we know when someone is angry, when someone has strong positive or negative feelings toward us, and when we are loved. Understanding gives us something to communicate.

Here's how to open up communication with another person:

1. Don't talk, listen. Some people are less verbal than others, and when we get nervous, we verbal ones tend to talk and talk. Resist the impulse to take over the conversation, and give the other person time to talk.

2. Don't be worried about a little silence: give the other person a chance fill it.

3. When you do talk, end your (brief) story with a question: "What do you think? or Was it like that for you?" That invites the other person to answer.

4. Treat the conversation like a tennis match: say something, then give the other person a chance to respond... take your time.

Is your relationship becoming uncomfortable? Are you no longer enjoying the relationship? Do you not understand what might be going wrong, but you can sense it? You are not happy, but cannot pin point the cause of unhappiness. You want to get away from the relationship but are arguing for and against and getting tired of the whole thing. This is a typical; sign of getting crushed and facing confusion in the relationship.

Let us discuss more about how this happens.

I will give one example- your partner is with you. Your partner is not contributing any positives to the relationship. She/he keeps complaining that you are the cause of their unhappiness and discomfort. You wonder how when the ball is in the other court? She/he does not understand what ever you are trying to communicate. You get angry and try to explain again only to get further frustrated. If you talk of separation you are told that they will not be able to live alone. They want to be with you. Get all the comforts from you. They care nothing about your comfort. They blame you for everything that goes wrong. They understand no communication or act as if they don’t understand. You want to run away from it all, but they make you feel guilty of doing something terribly wrong by that. You simply do not know what to do and are at your wits end. You feel crushed.

When two people are in a relationship, they need to share a certain level of compatibility that extends beyond the bedroom. Besides getting along as lovers, they need to be friends, in order to share each other’s joy and sorrow and be on the same wavelength, mentally and emotionally. Friends, who are close to each other, tend to have that kind of emotional and mental connection, which is why the friendship is shared in the first place. Imagine if you could find that kind of compatibility in a lover as well! Read on for tips how to turn a friend into a lover:

Remind them of what they like

If you have a male friend, who have hinted in the past about what he likes in you – certain physical or emotional characterstics that you possess – learn to highlight those features. Just don’t go overboard.

Remember, that when you were friends, how you looked or felt didn’t matter because he would love you nonetheless. But, when it comes to love, you need to present yourself in a way that will make him notice.

Change the talk

When people are friends they tend to talk about everything under the sun, from common interests or each other’s love interests! If you want this person to relate to you on a more intimate level as well. You could try flirting verbally.

Create the ambience

Instead of going with him to a ususal hangout like a movie or a coffee shop, you could change the venue to a more private and romantic setting.

Change your attitude

If this person is already your friend, he will know how you behave around someone you have more than platonic feelings for. The next time you meet him, start behaving with them the way you would around someone you like.

Body language

If the cliche familiarity breeds contempt is starting to take shape in your relationship then you might want to try a quick and easy relationship fixer. Get you and you significant other to go to a romantic getaway that will surely get you in the mood for some much needed quality time. Here are some great romantic getaway hotspots that you and your honey can hightail to even for just the weekend.

1. Jersey Shore, New Jersey

New Jersey, highly known for its Beachy Glitz, is the place to go for couples who love to go clubbing all night long while spending their days in luxurious long sanded beaches. Down and out couples will get a chance to enjoy and relax themselves and hopefully even bond with the various great beaches and fast-paced casino action. A recent addition to the many wonderful attractions in Jersey Shore is the Vegas-worthy Borgata Hotel Casino and Spa whose presence has surely livened up the whole Jersey Shore area. A quick insider tip from Jersey Shore is that bands from the ’80s have always been headlining the shows at Atlantic City, try checking out Ticket master on what’s available during your visit there.

2. Lake Tahoe, California

For nature tripping couples, a great weekend getaway will be in Lake Tahoe in California wherein you will surely get to experience nature’s best. From the most pristine lake that you will ever see in your whole life to the most picturesque mountains, nature loving couples will surely get a kick out of this whole romantic getaway. Also, when you start looking for other Lake Tahoe attractions, you can start going around this adorable little town or enjoy a bit of gambling at their fantastic casinos. The hippest resort in Lake Tahoe is the Mammoth Mountain especially in the fall wherein you will surely feel like having the place all to yourselves since the skiers who frequent Lake Tahoe would not be arriving ’til winter.

3. Monetelago Village, Nevada

Considered to be too cool for Las Vegas, Monetelago Village in Nevada is actually only 17 miles from the world famous Strip. But unlike Vegas, the atmosphere here in Montelago Village is a lot more laid-back and completely the opposite of the fast-paced scene that you will find in Las Vegas. This romantic getaway hotspot is filled with relaxation that will surely get you in the mood for some loving. From various spas, to boutique shopping, even cobblestone streets as well as jazz on the lake performances and romantic yacht rides, there a lot of romance filled activities that you and your honey can enjoy in this romantic getaway. If you opt to take this romantic getaway, you can either stay in a condo or in a casita (a little villa) that is actually a whole lot more affordable than renting out a condo. Great food, views as well as wine flights await you and your significant other at the Sunset and Vines restaurant

4. Central, Pennsylvania

Here, you can find a place great for some rural romance for your romantic getaway wherein you can head off to Hershey, Pennsylvania wherein you can book a room for your romantic getaway at the historic Hotel Hershey. You and your loved one can enjoy various chocolate-themed body treatments at the newly renovated spa at the Hotel Hershey as well as cocoa-infused entrees at the Hotel Hershey’s restaurant. You can also relive you childhood at this romantic getaway by taking fun rides at the Hershey park. An insider trip for those who are thinking of going on a romantic getaway at Central, Pennsylvania, you can take a highly interesting trip to Dutch Country that is home of Pennsylvania’s Amish community and is only a 30-minute drive away from Hotel Hershey.

5. Saugatuck, Michigan

One of the biggest privileges we have as humans is the ability to communicate with one another in deep and meaningful ways. No other living creatures have the ability to relate with one another on the level that humans do. While there are many ways that we experience depth in relationship, few things are as significant and powerful in our search for connection as good conversation.

If you think about it, it is quite amazing that humans have the abilitiy to grow up in entirely separate households, cities and sometimes cultures and still be able to have intelligent and meaningful conversation with one another. A child born in the center of London and a child born in the middle of nowhere in Canada could meet and share a conversation because they both have the ability to communicate in the same language. Amazing.

Because the ability to communicate in depth with other humans is one of our most distinguished privileges, we should never take that ability for granted. Instead, we should do all we can to increase our ability to have good conversation with the people around us. Think about all of the opportunities you have each day to engage another human being in conversation. You can talk to rocks, trees, or your favorite stuffed animal for as long as you want and you will never get a response. Saying something as simple as “hello” to another person can elicit a response.

One of the best ways to get good at conversation with other people is simply to practice. Take every opportunity that presents itself to learn the art of making good conversation with other people. Start by saying hello to the people you pass on the street. Ask the person who is checking you out at the grocery store or the teller at the bank how they are doing and ask if they are enjoying their day. Learn to respond with more than just one word when someone asks you a question. You will be surprised at how quickly you learn about conversation by doing small things such as these.

One of the things that is necessary for getting good at conversation is to really care about people and the things that they care about. It will be much easier to have a good conversation with someone if you are engaged and really caring about the things they are saying. There is nothing worse than trying to carry on conversation with someone that is disinterested in it. So commit to asking people questions that you really want to know the answers to and you’ll be a step ahead when it comes to making great conversation.

You are single, bored and you just have nothing

to do. It is another miserable day like the day

before. You need someone to talk to and you are

turning on the computer, browsing some… dating

sites. There are so many people… singles, like

you are.

What should you ask from them? Can they change

your life for better?

The answer to the last question is up to you.

Would you let a person you have met online to

change your life? Are you willing to do this? Do

you trust someone you have met this way?

SOME people simply do not have the courage to let

an online relationship to develop and change in a

normal healthy relationship. Are you one of them?

Let me re-ensure you that online relationships

really are working, and yes it can change your

entire life, in a good way. 

But there are some impediments or mistakes which

are leading to the end of the relationship

between two people that could have had a good

future together:

1. First of all if you do not take people you are

taking to too seriously, you will be treated the

same way.

2. Being too secret and reserved. If you do not

tell things about you and you are not working to

develop a relationship, nobody will make this for

you.

3. Trust or lack of trust is the biggest

impediment of an eRelathionship. You have to try

to get the people you are taking to trust in you,

and then find out if that person is a trustworthy

one. There are so many ways to check out this.

4. Being shy. If you are interested in someone

and you want to meet her/him offline, let her/him

know this. What do you have to lose?

5. Fear of disappointment or fear of becoming a

victim of someone with bad intentions can make

you paranoid. It is good to be preventive but not

exaggerate about this. It is not funny and will

pull people away.

6. Unbelieving. If you do not believe that an

eRelathionship can become something more then it

is, you will not pay too much attention and…

You get exactly what you give and some more, don’

t you?

7. Do not make that relationship a priority in

your life. Any human needs to feel that is

important for someone, that is the center of

someone life, even if you have meet that human

online. Don’t you feel the same? Wouldn’t you pay

more attention to someone if you would know that

you are a priority in his/her life?

8. Not making the next step. Talking online can

be fun but it is not enough to get to know a

person better and after a while it can become

boring. Talking on the phone can help you two to

develop the relationship and do not forget that

you can feel chemistry only when you two are

meeting face to face, touching each other,

feeling the smell of her/his perfume.

9. Beeing insincere, pretending that you are

something that you are not will lead you

eventually to the end of any relationship. So be

honest from the very beginning, maybe you have

just meat the mach of your life, don’t take the

risk to lose her because of a stupid mistake.

10. Thinking that online dating sites are some

kind of shops where you can find a lover like you

find a pear of shoes, and if you are braking the

shoes you can go back to that shop and buy

another pair just like the first. It is not true,

every human, every soul is unique. If you lose

her/him it is for good. So I am sure that you

will have problems like all couples have but it

is worthy to make the effort to solve these

problems together.

Be happy that the technology gives you the chance

to meet your match online, but do not waste this