signora cavaliere

It took Rin several long moments to reach the right conclusion. His first thought was that Mikoto meant she hadn’t changed her mind, which hurt… but also didn’t make much sense. The only other possible answer was that she’d never really meant the things she’d said to Father Fujimoto and Yukio in the first place.

He stared at Mikoto as if she’d just grown a second head. “Wh— Why would you say any of th-those things if you didn’t mean them?” She got into two arguments back to back for no reason! Rin had always thought enjoyment of unnecessary conflict was a trait only demons could possess, but apparently some humans felt the same… Rin resolved to just let Yukio believe she’d changed her mind, because he was worried the truth might make his brother pop a blood vessel.

Rin had already been able to piece together that Mikoto and Shirou didn’t have the best relationship, but the way she so casually referred to her brother as useless still surprised him a little. He wasn’t about to ask and ruin all of the goodwill he’d painstakingly built up with Mikoto, though. “I-I’m sorry, I can go get him,” he offered, standing up.

Mikoto blinked back at Rin, her own confusion just as evident as Rin’s was. Had he never said anything he didn’t mean? Had he never wanted to spite anyone? Just how naïve was this boy? “Hm,” she said in the end, a low huff that seemed to dismiss his question. “It’s complicated to explain.” More complicated than what she had the patience for, at any rate. Perhaps he ought to have asked Shirou.

And speaking of… as it turned out, there was no need for Rin to go fetch him. Right on cue, the priest was finally returning, bringing a few rolls of bandages as well as a bottle of water and a leaf of pills. His gaze went from Mikoto to Rin and then back to his sister as he walked up to her bed, piling everything onto the bedstand. “I’m glad to see leaving you two alone wasn’t a mistake,” he commented dryly.

Mikoto snorted. “Well, I guess nobody’s more broken than before.” She pulled her hand away from her side only reluctantly, as Shirou moved in to examine it.

“Could you leave us, Rin? Mikoto really needs to rest…” He shot her a glare. “If she’s done with being stubborn.”

Rin flushed with embarrassment, ears pressing against the side of his head. “I-I didn’t mean for it to c-come out like that,” he said. “…And I didn’t ask Yukio to do that. He has more experience with humans than I do, so he can be a little… protective.” Being defended by his brother felt nice most of the time, but Rin would be lying if he said Yukio’s behavior wasn’t occasionally smothering. “You clearly changed your mind on a lot of what you said, s-so I’m not upset.” He was more than a little confused, but not upset.

“Yes,” he murmured, a look of pure longing in his eyes. “I-I’ve wanted to since I was little…” Being able to walk among humans without any kind of fear was something he’d dreamed of since Yukio’s first day of preschool; just the thought of being able to some day made tears start to well up. Rin blinked quickly to ward them away, not wanting to appear overly emotional. 

“I didn’t change my mind on anything.” Mikoto knew it was a little cruel of her to put it this way, as if she was testing him to see if he would figure it out, rather than being straightforward about it. Still, she found it amusing that it didn’t occur to him that she might have lied to begin with, and she never meant most of what she’d said to Shirou.

Well, maybe he would put two and two together. And if not, well. Mikoto hardly cared what people thought of her words. Rin already knew what Mikoto could and would do; it shouldn’t matter that her and her brother’s favourite pastime was pissing each other off.

“I-I would have understood if you left,” he said, looking down at his hands in his lap. Now that he was out of the situation, he knew it would have been the better option for her; the wound would scar no matter what, but his flames had made things much more grisly than they had to be. “…Once I was calmer, I would have understood,” Rin elaborated.

Rin knew himself well enough to know that being leaving him alone during a flashback was one of the worst things someone could do outside of attacking him. They would have even had the same end result, of Rin backed into a corner and snarling at anyone who came close. He probably wouldn’t have responded well to anyone but his mother and brother coming to collect him; even Father Fujimoto might have been harmed if he approached. It was probably for the best that Mikoto stayed, but he couldn’t help but feel a little guilty.

He looked up with wide eyes at Mikoto’s quiet comment, visibly confused. Rin, a cause of faith? “Usually people don’t believe in me, Mikoto-san.” The half-demon didn’t appear particularly upset by this— he was simply stating a fact. “They d-don’t tell me out loud, but I’m not blind… and humans often talk loud enough that I hear it anyways.” Rin knew that plenty of his instructors believed that his control of his flames was overstated, and that a demon summoning demons was dangerous. He had once unintentionally overheard Neuhaus-sensei warning another teacher that Rin’s shyness was an act, and that he was actually malicious.

“S-So thank you,” Rin said, fidgeting. “F-For believing in me, even th-though I didn’t give you any reasons to…” The thought of going on another mission made his heart race, but he tried to hide his fear; it was technically good that he was being given a second chance, after all. 

“…Th-That’s the best I’ve ever done in a crowd that big,” the boy admitted, ducking his head in shame. He’d even been proud of how well he’d handled it; usually, going to an unfamiliar, crowded place without his family or Shiemi in tow was much worse. “I-I used to be even worse. When I first came here, I-I’d panic if there were more than six people in a room…”

Mikoto gave a small shrug with the shoulder on her uninjured side. “Water under the bridge,” she said simply. She had stayed, and Rin saved her, and that was that. There was no point thinking about whether she should have left now.

She listened to Rin’s next rebuttal, thinking of a way to phrase her meaning better, but at his last sentence, she gave a small start, blinking at him. “If that was a jab at how loudly I was yelling at Shirou, your brother already chewed me out for that.” She glanced away. She still had enough pride left to not want to apologize, though she at least acknowledged she should have. She knew full well that she hadn’t meant most of what she’d said, that it was Shirou she was angry with, and even him not really, just her pain and frustration was coming out this way.

he father was so giddy every time she got a summons. she was bringing more ‘good’ to their family name.

thee were reports of a nattmara in some scandinavian woods that had been terrorizing a small, local town. and there was rumors it was more than one. she wasn’t briefed on who she’d be working with, but she knew it would be fellow exorcists that out ranked her. her uniform was pressed, a large sniper ( it almost seemed to big for her frame! ) strapped to her back, boots crunching snow as she walked to the ‘stake out’ camp with her escort. 

“anja wollf has arrived.” he spoke, and anja stood to attention, feet together, arms stiff at her side.

She was sitting next to the small campfire they had built, a map in her lap that she was marking locations of sightings on, when the new companion arrived. She rolled up the map, standing and dusting herself off a little before holding out a hand. “Fujimoto Mikoto, Upper First Class.” She took one long moment to assess the other woman, her gaze flitting from Anja’s face to her rifle and then the pin she wore. What she saw, she definitely liked – but then, this was just a first impression. Mikoto usually withheld any judgement until after she saw someone in battle.

“I remember everything up until burning those zombies, and then burning you, and… that’s it,” he said quietly, looking at the ground. He couldn’t believe he’d been out of it enough to miss a demon being summoned— although it made sense, considering he’d also been out of it enough to miss dismissing his own summon.

Hearing Mikoto laugh made Rin groan softly into his hands, hunching over in his seat. It was better than offending her, but still embarrassing… as if everything that had happened up until this point didn’t make him appear weak enough.

Rin took his hands away from his face, staring down at the floor and awaiting a verbal lashing. When it never came, his head shot up to give Mikoto a slack-jawed look of surprise. “I… I just did what I had to,” he said. “It w-was my fault, a-and I was aware enough to tell you were going to die if I didn’t do something, s-so I…” His fingers wrapped around the wrist of the hand he’d burnt Mikoto with; his expression was clearly one of someone holding back nausea. Even now, just thinking about burning Mikoto like that made him feel physically ill— he wasn’t sure how he’d done it. “I’m glad you made it. I-I was really worried, especially because I couldn’t get help…”

Rin was thankful for how understanding Mikoto was being of what had happened to him, but he still watched her closely, as if waiting for something. There had to be some sort of catch somewhere… right?

The last of the smile vanished from Mikoto’s face as Rin talked, though rather than displeased she simply looked contemplative. “I could have left, you know,” she finally said, though it clearly showed in her voice that she wasn’t sure whether she was saying the right thing – whether she should say this at all. “I could have gone to get help for myself.” She trailed away, feeling as if any way she could finish this line of thought, it would come off as if she was holding Rin responsible, or making it sound like he owed her something for not leaving him there. The truth was, if Mikoto thought back, she honestly wasn’t sure why she had decided to stay. She couldn’t even be sure Rin would be able to help her close her wound, and yet by the time she’d decided to go with that, it had been too late to go with anything else.

“… I don’t think you realize how much faith you induce in people,” she murmured, voice dropping low, as she wasn’t even talking to him, just thinking out loud.

Gaze settled on Rin, the woman was silent for a while, thinking. Was it possible that her subconscious recognized something in the boy, that she realized without realizing that he wasn’t as weak as she’d initially thought? This was a supremely surreal thought, and yet it still made sense, somehow. After all, even before Shirou had told her about what had happened to Rin to make him act this way, she’d still trusted him with her life when push came to shove.

This had never happened with anyone else she’d ever worked with. And as quick Mikoto usually was to adapt in battle, right now, she was having serious trouble wrapping her mind around this. He was a demon, for Heaven’s sake! Mikoto had never trusted any of them, and with good reason.

But then, Rin was human, too. Maybe that was what made all the difference? She just didn’t know.

Rin froze where he stood, looking like a deer caught in the headlights; Mikoto was suddenly very calm, and that scared him more than if she’d continued to be angry. Why wasn’t she angry? 

The wounds on her hands made him feel a stab of guilt. He knew that a zombie had hurt her side, but he had no recollection of anything happening to her hands. Had he hurt Mikoto after all? “H-How did that happen? Your hands, I-I mean,” Rin said, wringing his own hands. “I was r-really out of it— w-well, you know that already, but I-I don’t remember a whole lot, i-is what I’m trying to say…” He trailed off, still fidgeting.

Whatever she decided to say or do to him, Rin deserved. He gave a small nod and moved to sit down; he tried to put on a brave face, but the poorly concealed fear in his eyes and the fact that his tail was literally between his legs gave away how nervous he was.

Mikoto’s smile only made his nerves worse, because he had no idea why she was smiling at him. Some demons bared their teeth when they were angry, maybe this was the same thing? “I-I’m scared of most people,” he blurted, only to bury his face in his hands immediately afterwards. Why did I say that?! It was true, but that didn’t mean he had to say it! 

Mikoto turned her hands around, looking at her palm before looking back up at Rin. “You don’t remember any of it?” She thought back to the story Shirou had sketched for her before Yukio barged in on them, and she had to stifle a sigh. Well, no wonder. “I sliced it on my sword to summon,” she explained, laying it down to rest in her lap again. “I was hurrying it, so I cut too deep. It’ll probably heal, don’t worry about it.”

She’d expected a lot of things after her question, but the answer she actually got startled her into laughter, especially when Rin buried his face in his hands. “Hahaha! Oh, you’re too honest for your own good! Oh – ow…” Yes, well, laughing was not the best idea; it pulled at her wound to the point where she was momentarily breathless with it.

Her smile was gone when she looked up again, but her serious expression was different from anything Rin had ever seen on her face. There was something like softness in it, and something almost ceremonial. She didn’t think Rin was expecting her next words. Truthfully, she hadn’t expected herself to arrive to this conclusion until she actually stopped to think about it.

He’ll never make it, was what she’d told her brother.

“What you did back there. I wanted to talk to you about it.” She paused for a moment. “Against all my expectations and hangups, I am impressed.” The small smile was back, knowing Rin would likely be confused. “For most people, that kind of flashback you seemed to be having is almost impossible to come out of without any outside help. Yet you did, even though I was asking you to do something awful.” She touched her side gently, mouth twitching in pain. Ultimately, her meaning’s focus was one penultimate thing.

Rin enjoyed the comfort for several long moments… until he reached out for Yukio without thinking, and found he wasn’t there. “Shouldn’t Yukio be back by now?” Rin asked, already standing up. The last thing he wanted was to bother Mikoto, who probably wanted nothing to do with him, but he also had a bad feeling in his gut. And unfortunately, Rin’s bad feelings were usually right.

He made his way to the infirmary along with his mother, suppressing his flames and pulling up a glamour as he went. It took him a few moments to summon the courage to enter, but Rin was glad he entered when he did; Mikoto and Yukio looked just about ready to fight each other, his brother shaking with anger. “Yukio!”

Yukio’s anger was momentarily replaced with confusion as he turned towards his brother’s voice. “…Nii-sa—?” Without thinking, Rin grabbed his brother by the wrist and pulled him away.

“I-I thought you were just going to tell them to be quiet! You sh-shouldn’t argue with someone who’s hurt,” Rin said in a hushed tone, cheeks turning bright scarlet. Especially not to defend the person who was the reason she was hurt… 

Yukio could only gape at his brother; it wasn’t often that he truly felt like the younger twin, but this was one of those rare moments. He’d really let his anger and protective feelings get the worst of him this time…

Mikoto decidedly did not like the expression of fear on Rin’s face as he entered the room. It was interesting to see, however, how different he was interacting with his brother than in any other moment Mikoto had seen him so far. An inexplicable feeling of relief swelled in her chest at the sight of him, and before she would have thought twice, she called after the retreating group.

“Rin, I need to talk to you.”

This time, Shirou did rise from his seat, his gaze holding a warning. Mikoto remained stony-faced, though inwardly she was smiling. When she saw he was about to say something, she held out her hands towards him, palms up, showing the red splotches across her wound dressings. “Could you bring me replacements for these?” There was no hint of her earlier anger in her voice, and, just for a moment, Shirou couldn’t help but be impressed by her self-control. This, more than anything else, was what made him finally nod, turning to leave the room with Yuri and Yukio. “Take your time,” Mikoto added as an afterthought, dropping her hands in her lap. To anyone that didn’t know her, her sudden cheer would have likely sounded threatening.

The Arc Knight waited until it was just the two of them, then motioned with her chin to the seat Shirou had vacated next to her bed. “Sit down.” Another few moments of silence while he obeyed; in the meantime, she curled and flexed her fingers experimentally, just to see if she’d done a lot of damage to her already wrecked hand. If she hadn’t been so desperate to get them out of the situation so quick, she would have been more cautious with how much she cut herself. Vaayu didn’t need that much of her blood.

Rin began combing the tuft of his tail with his fingers, taking comfort in the soothing, repetitive motions. “I know,” he said halfheartedly; it took a few moments for him to meet his mother’s eyes. He was fully aware of how different he was, and that comparing himself to others did absolutely nothing. “But… I wish I was a little less different from everybody sometimes,” Rin admitted. “Just a little.”

Situations like this made it clear how little those outside his circle of family and friends understood him. It was rare for Rin to meet the expectations of others, positive or negative; he wasn’t the violent beast many assumed he was, but he didn’t act like a regular human teenager, either. The thought of eventually meeting others in a similar situation to his own, though, made him feel a small flutter of hope.

–

“His good intentions sealed that wound shut,” Yukio said, green eyes darting to where Mikoto clutched at her side. His voice was quieter as well. “The only reason you’re still here to complain about my brother’s cowardice and incompetence is that he pushed himself to the very limits of his self-control, despite how terrified he must have been.” By virtue of having them his entire life, Rin often made controlling the blue flames look much easier than it actually was; Yukio wondered if Mikoto was fully aware of how easy it would have been for Rin to slip in either direction. 

The boy sighed and adjusted his glasses. “I should know better than to try to defend Nii-san to someone who doesn’t want to hear it,” he muttered, mostly to himself. He knew this was an exercise in futility, but he felt the need to stand up for Rin regardless.

Yuri could tell Rin didn’t really believe her, or if he did, he did so very reluctantly. As he spoke, she drew him back into her arms, making that soft, humming sound she’d always made when Rin was little; her human equivalent of purring, which she could not do like her son. “I know,” she whispered. “I know, sweetheart.”

How dare you question my ability to survive! There was a part of her that now wished she’d just left Rin on his own in the remains of their battle, and gone to get help on her own. She would have made it. She wouldn’t have needed to be burned if she just left. If she’d done so, the boy would likely still be there. This child knew nothing about her. Or about battle.

The arguing stopped, and some of the tension left Rin’s shoulders. The last thing he wanted was for his younger brother to get into a fight with Mikoto, but… Rin would be lying if he said he wasn’t relieved to have Yukio sticking up for him. Yukio was much braver in social situations than Rin was, mostly because he didn’t care what others thought the way Rin did.

“Most demons wouldn’t need it. Not full ones, anyway,” Rin said quietly. Demons simply weren’t bothered by the kinds of things humans and half-demons were, particularly if they were raised in Gehenna. “…Are there really more demons? And part-demons?” He knew that as a rule of thumb, most Tamers had demonic blood, but it was usually so distant that they were essentially full humans. With the exception of Samael, he had yet to meet anyone with particularly strong or recent demonic heritage.

–

“Egin Yukio,” he said, straightening his posture and drawing himself up to his full height. He typically spoke much more politely, especially to an adult— but he was also furious, and the first thing to fly out the window was his manners. Yukio would be polite once Mikoto gained his actual respect.

He shot the Arc Knight a withering glare, and was glad to see Father Fujimoto doing the same. “Nii-san wasn’t born afraid. Humans like you made him that way,” he said coldly. Yukio still remembered what his brother had been like when they were small children; he remembered how his brother had gone from bright and exuberant to shy and timid, almost overnight. “Would you prefer he turned out angry and violent? That he chose to hate humans instead of wanting their acceptance?” Considering everything he’d been through and who their father was, Rin’s gentle, forgiving nature was nothing short of a miracle.

Yuri sighed, leaning back a little to cup Rin’s cheek in her palm. “Rin, you need to stop comparing yourself to others,” she chided gently. “Demons and humans both. You are your own person. You take things in your own pace, and you need different things than anyone else. Everyone is different, so there really is no point wondering if these differences make you more or less than others; it is neither.”

She fell silent for a moment, listening if she could hear any more sounds of the previous argument. She couldn’t make out any, but she knew that didn’t mean Rin couldn’t either. For his sake – and for theirs, because she would surely give them a piece of her own mind eventually – she hoped they’d stopped for good.

“Mikoto…” It was difficult to tell whether Shirou’s intervention was aimed at her physical wellbeing, cautioning not to overexert herself, or if he was warning her to hold her tongue. She turned her gaze on him in reply, and, for a moment, he faltered, before steeling himself. “You don’t mean that.”

“It made no difference today!” the Arc Knight snarled. “I couldn’t very well use his good intentions to wrap around the hole I got torn in my side, could I?!”

“… For humans,” Rin mumbled. There weren’t many regular doctors that were comfortable with treating Rin because of what he was, and he doubted this would be any different. Mentally, he was closer to a human than a demon— but his appearance wasn’t, and that was what mattered. Most of his problems were due to his demonic heritage, anyways. How could a human stranger understand that enough to help him?

His thoughts were interrupted by the distant sound of a pained yell, just soft enough that only Rin could hear it. He winced as the scream was replaced by the sound of arguing, ears pressing back against the sides of his head as he burrowed further into Yuri’s arms.

He’ll never make it!

Both be dead— 

Pet project—

The blood drained from Rin’s face once again, leaving him pale and trembling like a leaf. Blood boiling, Yukio extracted his arm from Rin’s tail and stood up. “I’ll do it,” he said, leaving before either Rin or Yuri could protest.

Yukio stormed into the infirmary, visibly seething. Despite his age, he managed to strike an intimidating figure; he hadn’t inherited his mother’s short stature, but he’d definitely inherited the glare that could stop grown men in their tracks. Rin was quite clearly the least intimidating member of their family, despite the power he wielded. “What, was subjecting Nii-san to that mission not enough? You may not know anything about my brother, Mikoto-san, but as an Exorcist you should know enough to understand that he can hear you,” he snarled, fists clenched at his sides.

Yuri sighed, tightening her hold on Rin as he burrowed into her arms. “Don’t listen to them,” she murmured, rubbing her palm down Rin’s back. “Just focus on me. You’ll be all right. It all will be.” She wished, a little bit, that she had stopped Yukio from leaving. She didn’t like the idea of him getting into a confrontation with either Shirou or his sister. At the same time, she had to realize that, after herself, Yukio was likely the next best person to have this conversation with them. Yuri was aware of how many of her mannerisms he’d inherited, and while outwardly she was disapproving when he got into altercations, there was a small part of her that was a little bit proud.

Of course, it wasn’t that hard to guess he was Rin’s brother, but he was just a little too familiar with her to her liking, considering this was the first time they’d seen each other in their lives. And she wouldn’t let any teenager talk to her that way, even if they did know each other.