Regret_And_Sadness

As he was heading back to bed, he looked out the window and saw the lights on in his shed. A closer inspection revealed men loading his tools and farm machinery into their truck.

He rushes to the phone and calls 000 (911)

“I need the police! There are some guys clearing out my shed!”

“OK sir, we have dispatched officers, they should be there in about an hour.”

“An hour?! But they’ll be long gone by then!”

“I’m sorry sir but there are no officers in your area.”

The farmer hangs up angrily, waits 10 minutes and then calls 000 again.

“Hi, it’s me again. Don’t worry about sending those cops, I’ve just shot the robbers.” and he hangs up.

Less then 10 minutes later, three cop cars and a helicopter arrive and the robbers are arrested. The sergeant goes up to the house and bangs on the door. The farmer opens it in his dressing gown and holding a cup of tea.

“What’s going on here!? You said you shot the robbers!”

In England it’s 12PM, in Germany it’s 1PM and in the U.S it’s 1953.

He even wrote a sequel to Poe’s only novel, and numerous essays about how great an author Poe was.