[blog title]

Pokémon Humanization

486.Regigigas

Seeking to recoup some of that eyewatering spend, in 1998, the "Buran" (Russia's answer to the American Space Shuttle) was offered up for sale on eBay for $10 million.

No serious offers were received - with most people assuming the listing to be a joke, until the New York Post confirmed the sale, with Russian authorities stating they "actually have two" if anyone is interested.

(Pictured: A later auction of a smaller scale Buran in 2005)

Sensing an opportunity, a group of Aussie entrepreneurs including Australia's first astronaut and the lawyer for Prime Minister Paul Keating offer to lease the shuttle from Russia, to put it on display in Australia during the Sydney Olympics.

After gaining permission from the Kremlin for the lease, in 1999 the Russian military briefly stops bombing Chechnya in order to dismantle the Buran, and it is placed on a barge to be shipped to Sydney on the (soon to be infamous for other reasons) Tampa shipping vessel at a cost of $5 million.

Once in Sydney, after a disastrous few months on display where crowds failed to flock to the shuttle exhibition featuring such compelling educational offerings as "activities is to assist in the development of issues of nutrition and hygiene at home" (an actual quote from their website) - the leasing company declared bankruptcy and washed their hands of the space shuttle completely.

The Buran Gift shop where you could buy soviet space ship themed football jerseys, in case you needed one of those

One of four people listed on the lease, described as a business partner of the Prime Minister, also claims he never knew he was a director of the company, which went on to cause a lot more problems.

This whole debacle presented a slight issue for the cash strapped Russian authorities, who had now only been paid $100,000 for the 9 year lease of the shuttle instead of the $600,000 they were owed. Eventually the decision was made to abandon the once $1 billion Soviet pride and joy in a Sydney carpark, where it resided for a year under a small tarpaulin.

Failed attempts to be rid of the shuttle included a 12 day auction hosted by an LA radio station, where listeners were offered the chance to buy the shuttle for $6 million, however all bids turned out to be pranks and the shuttle remained.

Multiple attempts were also made to sell the shuttle to Tom Cruise, with the exacerbated movie star's representatives repeatedly telling the insistent traders that he was not interested in owning a Russian spaceship.

Eventually a Singaporean group dismantled the shuttle and shipped it overseas, however Russian authorities soon reported they once again had been failed to be paid for the lease. Singaporean representatives responded that they definitely had paid for the shuttle, and that they simply couldn't remember when or how much was paid.

Representing the Russian government, Lawyer Suhaila Turani told the Wall Street Journal “I feel sorry for the Russians. They’re good in space, but they’re very naive in business.”

For a time the shuttle was abandoned in the storage yard of event company Pico, with the company owner telling the Wall Street Journal "I just want this thing out of my life" after three years of being stuck with it.

A few years later the shuttle was found by German journalists dismantled in a junkyard, and it was then bought and shipped to Germany to be put on display a museum, so all's well that ends well (except they dropped it from a crane while trying to set it up, but it polished up okay).

A bloody good question!

Trying to work out ways to sell off their space gear, the Russians had reached out to an American foreign exchange dealer who often helped with sales between Russia and the US.

Now this Forex guy was not an expert when it came to selling formerly classified military hardware, so he of course told them, "Hey you know who would be great at selling multi-billion dollar soviet spacecraft? My wife!"

Needless to say, this was a completely unhinged choice and his wife was equally as ill equipped at flipping spaceships. Unsure where to even start, she simply latched on to the first space-related thing that crossed her radar and decided to run with that.

In this case, it is the fact that Tom Cruise has just narrated an IMAX 3D movie called "Space Station", due to his "fascination with spacecraft".

As such she decides - against all better logic - that Tom Cruise is absolutely desperate to own a Russian space shuttle.

And we're not talking just a passing thought - this woman is fully convinced that Tom will not be complete without this ship.

Repeated different attempts were made to get in touch with Tom where people representing him said he was not interested, but that simply egged her on, as she was convinced that his entourage were not letting the message get through to Tom.

As a result, the radio auction mentioned above was organised - because she was convinced that this would finally allow her message to reach Tom Cruise via the airwaves unimpeded by middlemen, and that he would then immediately call up and demand to buy this shuttle.

Common Egg-eating Snake (Dasypeltis scabra), family Colubridae, South Africa