A Tale of Two Cupcakes

i support women's wrongs

“Do dishes” and “take out trash” both require the use of a spell slot, vs “use phone” is a cantrip, and brother, I am a level one wizard

“you’ll feel better after a good night’s rest” do i look like someone who has had one of those in the last two decades

first rule of storing tupperware is have fun and be yourself. second suggestion is slam the cabinet door quickly and don’t worry ‘bout it.

*gets back to the nest* baby you are NEVER gonna believe how i got this fish

save me, rice mixed with some bullshit

hey do you wanna come to the creek and look for frogs n pretty rocks with me?

The core conceit of Lord of the Rings is pretty funny. You are a twenty three year old in a suburb of Maine. The little bracelet in your grandpa’s attic has an inscription on it that is the password to the world’s entire nuclear arsenal. It is up to you to walk to the only hydraulic press in the world, located in Arizona, before the FBI finds the bracelet, kills you, and enslaves the suburb of Maine you currently live in

#the bracelet is also radioactive