still i rise

“Good, Im glad.” Warren replied, finally letting her out of his arms. All he could do was be there for her and listen. It certainly made him feel a bit better knowing that it helped her in some way. Even if it was small. She said she missed him and he shook his head at her. “What do you mean? I’ve been around and my doors are always open for you. I’ll even let the doorman know that you can come up anytime.” He said before pausing, beginning to walk with her towards the nearest icecream place. “Though… to be honest. I missed you too. You and the rest of the team. I was thinking about coming back.” 

-

Jean smiled a little and shrugged as Warren spoke, glancing over at him as they started to walk. “I just assumed you were busy,” she said, running a hand through her hair as they passed the doorman. “And I don’t get out that much. Ever since that stupid fear gas thing, I feel a little...” She paused, wondering how best to phrase it so that she didn’t sound dangerous, or crazy. “Shaky,” she said finally. She looked up at him as he spoke, a smile coming to her face. “Really?” she said. “I think we would all love that, Warren. What made you start thinking about that?”

“Jean…” He looked away, too sheepish to receive her stare or her gratitude. Being thanked always made him squirmish but being thanked by Jean? That added a whole new level to it. Doing the right thing shouldn’t be something anyone thanked you for, and yet, he couldn’t help but bask in the gratitude she offered him. He wondered if that made him a bad person on some level. He swallowed, looking away so she wouldn’t see how hot his cheeks felt. Hopefully any type of blush would die down fast. Finally, he turned back. “It does.” He spoke. “Honestly it gives me one of the best feelings in the world.” A type of safety so little could provide that Jean could with mere words. 

-

A soft smile touched her lips as Scott looked away, finding it adorable that he was so sheepish. It was funny to her, in an endearing sort of way, that he was like this, considering he was basically their leader -- in a way that was different from Charles. She felt a little flush creep up along her cheeks as Scott spoke. It was a wonderfully nerve-wracking feeling to thing that he actually felt like she was so important. “I don’t feel right, being away from you,” she admitted quietly, with a shy little smile. “I guess I just feel...lost.”

“You know I love a good fight, Jeannie.” Daken said, shaking his head. “And i’m not doing anything to piss him off. If he wants to get mad because i’m standing here that he can deal with that.” Daken rolled his eyes. In reality, he was pushing out a fair amount of pheromones, just to see how the other person would react.

-

Jean sighed. “Yes, I know,” she said tiredly. She arched an eyebrow as Daken spoke. “Right, because you’re not doing that pheromone thing.” It was almost enough to override her control, the wall she built between herself and the thoughts, the emotions, of everyone else around her. “You’re going to make him froth at the mouth or something.”

open starter // @fallengothamstarters​

“Guten morgen,” Kurt chimed as he sat down next to someone on a bench. It was another gloomy day in Gotham, but that didn’t surprise him. The cold air reminded him of winters back home in Bavaria. “The coffee from there is good, huh, mein freund?” he smiled, gesturing to the coffee shop opposite them with a nod of his head as he sipped his drink. Truthfully, it was hot chocolate inside the winter themed, disposable cup. But nobody needed to know that. Coffee was more adult. It made him seem more put together. “Mmm, delightful,” he sighed.

Jean looked around at the familiar voice, a smile touching her lips when she saw Kurt. “Hi,” she said. She took a deep sip of her coffee, humming softly at the flavor. “Mmm, yeah, it is really good. How’d you find this place?” She had been here for a while and hadn’t discovered it, but then again, she tended to stay in her room and keep to herself when she could. She looked over at him with another smile. “That’s hot chocolate though, right? I’m not reading your mind, promise -- I just didn’t think you drank coffee.” 

Jean was- she was Jean. She was one of the only reasons he survived his brother’s death, survived his own powers. He didn’t know what he’d do without her, who he’d be. “You don’t have to thank me.” He responded, his voice something of a hush. He was breathless. “Helping you…” Scott trailed off. “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you.” A beat and he felt his heart jumping in his chest. “I mean- there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for any of you, ya know? X-Men.” It was somehow true and a lie in the same breath Scott didn’t understand how though. “Funny… I could say the same about you.” He wouldn’t be the same person he was without Jean in his life. 

-

Jean smiled softly as Scott spoke, shaking her head. “Of course I have to thank you,” she said. “There’s a lot I have to thank you for, Scott.” Scott was one of those internal voices that she felt safe with, that acted like a beacon in the dark for her. She felt her face flush as Scott spoke, her heart picking up speed a little bit. “I know you would,” she said, though she felt her spirits sink a little at the change in direction. She supposed she could probe his emotions to see what he really felt, but she didn’t want to do that to him. She smiled at him a little. “Well, I’m not going anywhere, if that makes you feel better.”

“ so are we gonna talk about it or are we gonna pretend nothing’s wrong here? ” @redphoenixjean​

          Wanda pinched the bridge of her nose, trying to dispel the oncoming headache. Closing her eyes, she sighed. “I’m fine.” Pulling her hand away from her face, her eyes fluttered open to look at Jean. “Everything’s fine. I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

Jean frowned slightly as Wanda spoke, glancing over at the other woman. “It is?” she repeated, her tone clearly displaying how dubious she found this information. She didn’t point out that she knew for a fact that Wanda was lying, in part because she was, as usual, holding back and only had a vague notion. “Are you sure about that?”

Charles knew this was never an easy topic for Jean, understandably so. But he needed her to talk to him, so the pair doesn’t fall prey to the past and resulting in dire consequences. “Usually, I get shut down before this point.” He stiffed, a chuckle. Rarely getting beyond the utterance of the Dark Phoenix. “It means you need something good to balance out the phoenix’ rage.” He said, all is easy to say but to bring it to fruition will be the difficult part. “There has to be a memory that brings you such joy that dulls the wrath of the Dark Phoenix.” 

-

Jean couldn’t help but giggle quietly as Charles spoke. She didn’t mean to shut him down so definitively when it came to talking about the Dark Phoenix, but it was just something that scared her so much. It was difficult to talk about, even with Charles. She smiled faintly as Charles explained the concept, brushing her fingers through her hair. “Like creating a Patronus in Harry Potter,” she said, with a little laugh. 

Jean huffed, glancing over at Daken impatiently. “Because you exist?” she said. “If you want to waste your time getting into a fight, go ahead. I’m just telling you, I can tell you’re pissing that guy off, and I personally wouldn’t want to waste a perfectly nice afternoon getting into a fight with some random dude. But if you don’t mind...” She shrugged. “Have fun with that, I guess.”

Charles watched her close herself off physically to the idea, brief breathy sigh from him whilst he leant back in his chair. “It might not solve anything but to get it off your chest may help,” Charles said, gesturing to the chair for her to sit across from him. “Have I ever taught you true balance lies between rage and serenity?” He doubted that he’s ever taught Jean this as the only person he’s taught this trick with was Erik.  

-

Jean swallowed, nibbling on her lower lip. She knew Charles wanted her to talk to him, he always wanted people to do that when he thought it would make them feel better. He did what he could for others, even if they made it difficult. Like she was doing right now. “No,” she said, her brow furrowing as he spoke. “What does that mean?”

“ upset? why would i be upset? ” / @redphoenixjean​

          “I swung at you.” she said quickly, her tone rigid from her lack of sympathy regarding the incident. Because she wasn’t aware that Jean was in the room with her, her instinctive reaction was to attack as soon as she turned around. Fortunately, she had caught her just in time, which was probably best for both of them. It would have been detrimental to everyone that a fight erupted between these two. “I guess I thought you were trying to get into my head, so I reacted impulsively.” that was as close as she was going to get an apology for now.

-

@redphoenixjean​ asked: saving their life in the process, sender grabs receiver’s hands to either yank them out of immediate danger, or to pull them to safety. 

That was a close one! Holy crap, that car had been inches from hitting her. They had seen her too, it had been hella intentional. Shit. That was too close for comfort. She was glad Spiderman hadn’t been the one to save her, she didn’t need Peter being more concerned then his usual level of anxiety but she didn’t know who to thank. MJ had felt something almost magnetic push her away but instead found a redhead. It had felt so strong, not like the girl before her. Well, regardless if it felt weird or not she still owed gratitude to her. “Thanks.” MJ said. “I owe you like, three.”

Jean had still been a few feet away when the car had almost hit the girl, but it didn’t take much of an effort for her to yank her back even from that far. She ran up to her in the moments after, hoping she hadn’t noticed that Jean hadn’t actually been by her side at the time. Sometimes it was just easier that way. “Are you okay?” she said, glancing after the car. It was still close enough that she could make the driver stop. “It’s fine. What the hell was that about?”

His grip on her tightened slightly when he heard her mumble to her how unfair it was. All he could think of was how she was right. It wasn’t like she chose to be a mutant. It was something she was born with. A gift that most people might consider a curse. Jean was a good person and the last thing she deserved was the lack of acceptance her parents had given her. They were supposed to love her unconditionally. Not fear her for something she couldn’t help. “I know…” He said gently. “I know it’s not fair. It never has been. I wish I could do something to help.” He said with a sigh. It was hard to change the minds of the ignorant and people tended to fear what they couldn’t understand. When she pulled back from him, he reached out and rushed back her red hair. Leaning in and giving her a quick kiss on the forehead before giving her a smile. “Sounds like fun.” 

-

Jean swallowed hard, trying to push everything aside and just focus on the comfort her friend was offering her. She couldn’t help but think about the fact that a lot of people wouldn’t know this side of Warren, this side that was so kind and compassionate, and so loyal. He was definitely a fuckboy, but he was more than that, something that some people didn’t realize. She considered herself fortunate to get to see that side of him. “This helps,” she told him softly, lifting her head and offering him a soft smile. “Thank you, Warren.” She smiled up at him. “It’s been a long time since we’ve hung out, so at least that’s a silver lining to all this,” she said, with a little laugh. “I’ve missed you.”

holy crap— BIG holy crap!!! Her arms around her neck, leaning into him, and then the moment was over and they were just holding each other as if it never even happened. As if a moment ago, they hadn’t— Damn, the red shades upon his face did nothing but heighten the redness of his cheeks. Then again even without the redness giving him away Jean could always read him better then anyone else. “… hi.” He responded and then- couldn’t help himself, a sheepish, awkward but ultimately affectionate chuckle left his lips. “I’m glad you’re doing okay Jean after all uh, that.” Halloween hadn’t been great for anyone pretty much. It was better not to label or intensify the memory too much. 

-

Jean smiled shyly as she gently disentangled her arms from around Scott’s neck. She wasn’t sure if it was the right thing to do, to kiss him, to hold onto him, but it just felt natural to be close to Scott. She was afraid to explore her feelings for him, even more to explore his feelings for her, which probably meant that kissing him was a bad idea. “Thank you for helping me,” she murmured, though she knew that Scott always would. He would always help her, he would always help anyone. “I’d probably have been pretty lost without you.”

“I’m sure Jean. Nothing a little ibuprofen can’t fix.” She reassured her friend. She gave a soft smile and patted her back. “Come one. Let’s go do something fun.” She offered out. “I found this new coffee place while I was out with T’Challa. They have like 100 different types of bean or something. Want to go?”

-

Jean sighed softly, trying to let herself relax. Ororo was one of her dear friends, and she would never do anything purposely to hurt her -- not that she was typically gunning to hurt anyone. “Okay,” she said softly. She laughed a little as Storm spoke. “Yeah, I could definitely use some coffee,” she said. She glanced over at the other woman with a little smile. “So you’re spending some time with T’Challa, huh?”

Closed starter for @redphoenixjean​

          “And then I kissed him. What was I thinking?!” She asked, pleading with Jean to give her an answer because the more she thought about that night with Pietro, the more it confused her. Why did feelings have to be so hard? “Am I losing my mind? Maybe I’m losing my mind. You know what? That would actually explain a lot.” 

-

Jean couldn’t help but snort softly as Kate spoke, glancing over at her. “I think the problem is that you weren’t thinking,” she pointed out. “I don’t think you’re losing your mind, but I think maybe you need to spend some time actually...” She paused. “Well, thinking. About what you want. And probably more importantly, what you don’t want.”

Jean swallowed hard as Charles spoke, folding her arms over her chest. “I can’t,” she whispered, looking away from him, swallowing. “I have to bury everything. Even with what you’ve taught me, I have to bury all these bad feelings. I can’t let them out. It would ruin everything. It would hurt people, and then I couldn’t fix it. And telling anyone how I feel wouldn’t solve anything.” 

Bisexualism