big yapper

★★★☆☆

Good where it needs to be, but generally and underwhelming read for me.

While I really enjoy the way this book addresses bottom shaming and sexuality, there isn't much too it. I, for the most part, greatly disliked Hunter. I empathise with his experience and such but I found him to be selfish at parts and very self-centered. He tries, granted, but he is oblivious to other peoples struggles and even after he tries to be better, he doesn't do well.

On the flip side, I found the attitude of Kaivan and his other bandmates to be very irritating, primarily Kaivan. Again, I empathise with Kaivan's struggles with his race and the way it effects him in the media and his image, but I fail to see how it drives a wedge between him and Hunter.

In the end, Hunter isn't really redeemed for his actions and, if anything, is made out to be the sole victim, which I didn't like.

★★★★☆

Enjoyed this far more than I expected to!

Normally, the fluffy romance books I tend to read yield very underdeveloped characters and little to no story outside the romance, but this book pleasantly surprised me. I heavily enjoyed the depth of Theo in particular in regards to his religious trauma and how deep his anxieties run, and the way you see his faith start to falter. While I do wish the romance wasn't as rushed as it seemed, I found it deeply endearing and sweet none the less.

Caleb could definitely have had more development and backstory, but I find the contrast between his out and loud personality against Theo's reserved and fearful nature very interesting to read about.

★★☆☆☆

Personally, I don't understand the reception around this book.

I enjoyed the basic plot and I will grant that it has been awhile since I read it, but nothing about it stood out to me. It's the same formulaic approach to teenage romance with the added plot twist of death at the end. I suppose that's some peoples cup of tea, but I was hoping for something more with the staggeringly positive reviews around this book.

★★★★★

First ever book I read with a trans character, and it brought me to tears.

I read this book in a day and every time I tried putting it down, telling myself, ''Come on now, you've read enough, do something else'', my resolve only lasted about 5 minutes before I shoved my nose right back in.

The world building and character development is intricate and amazing. Yadriel's transness and queerness being a central theme of his character is incredibly important to me as a trans man myself, and it's one of the first books that made me feel truly seen in a character. The plot was gripping, thrilling and shocking, I adored every twist and turn and was engrossed every moment of reading. The love story between Julian and Yadriel is beautiful, and so important to me, again, as a queer trans man. 

★★★★☆

Entertaining, beautifully written and unapologetically queer.

While I did find the overall story lacklustre at times, I've fallen head over heels in love with this book. For what it is, the writing it incredible, while I do feel as if the characters aren't as fleshed out as they could be. Despite this, I adore Ari and Dante's blooming friendship and love for one another and find it to be expertly crafted. I do wish Dante's feelings towards Ari weren't as bluntly stated towards the end, but that is a personal preference rather than an actual gripe.

Benjamin Alire Sáenz has a unique and beautiful style of writing. I think my copy of the book is highlighted to ever-loving shit (aside from the few chapters I listened to via audiobook- Lin Manuel Miranda has a surprisingly calming voice). Strangely, I found Ari's characterisation to be almost trans-coded. His issues with not understanding his body and even wishing to see the world through a woman's eyes felt very trans to me. But, again, personal opinion.

I, obviously, devoured most of this book in an entire sitting because I am a monster when it comes to queer literature. There are quite a few aspects of the story I would alter to my own preference of story telling, but disregarding that, this book is well-written and intricate in its symbolism and foreshadowing. Had me giggling and kicking my legs at points (not proud to admit that). 

★★★★★

Left me in floods, and floods (and then some) of tears.

Such a gripping story of love and hardship, left me gasping at each new twist, and then decided stabbed me repeatedly in the back with a knife.

I've never been someone particularly interested in Greek Mythology, and while I know the general gist of Achilles' story, all I knew was his heel was vulnerable and that he died in the end, nothing else. So, needless to say, I went into this book blind to the ending. I mean, from the start, I knew they'd both die. It was obvious, but it didn't mean it hurt any less.

One criticism I see a lot about this book is the portrayal of Achilles and that it bathes him in a gold light. But half the point of the book is that we're supposed to see him through rose coloured glasses, because it isn't history that's wearing the glasses, it's Patroclus. We're reading his view of Achilles. I, myself, do not like Achilles. The moment the war began and we were exposed to his murderous rampage, my feelings toward him shifted. He is the human incarnation of a weapon and kills, mostly, for the thrill of it. He revels in it. It's truly revolting. And while we do see this, we're exposed to Patroclus' and his love of Achilles, so he turns a blind eye and forgives him for it.

The love story between Patroclus and Achilles is heartwarming and beautiful. It blossoms from adolescent infatuation into souls joined together, and we the reader can see it's upward slope of progression and development. It's so intricately written and explored that it left me in floods of tears when finally they reunite at the very end in afterlife. While Achilles is deeply flawed, their love is unwavering and beautiful, even when hardships arise for the two of them.

★★★★★

Hands down, without question, the best book I have ever read. Definitely a bold statement, but one I will stand by whole-heartedly.

This book sat on my shelf for a good few months before I decided to read it. When I bought it, it was largely because of the trans character, and pretty cover art. But the second that I opened the book, I was utterly transfixed. I read it all within 2 days, going so far as to be reading until 4am because the story gripped me so hard. Every twist is unexpected and so artfully crafted in foreshadowing that on a re-read, you're able to pick out any details which alluded to this and that and it's so skilfully done. The world building is phenomenal and so in depth.

Silas is a complex and beautifully written character. What sets TSBIT apart from AJW's other books is that, because of the time period, Silas doesn't call himself transgender or really have an exact word for what he's feeling. In terms of the writing, it poses the problem: how do you explain being trans without saying trans? It seems like a straight forward question, and I suppose it is, but AJW explains it in such a way from so many different angles that I believe even a cisgender person could read this book and still understand the depths of Silas' manhood. I, myself, am trans, and I see my experience almost exactly reflected in Silas and his attraction to women. I am, however, gay, so it's not precisely the same, but his feelings towards women and their link to his identity are my trans experience near precisely. It was so monumentally important for me to see myself in Silas, even if in some aspects we're fundamentally different, he's so like me in so many different facets and it felt liberating to see myself through him, not just in his trans-ness, but with his autism, as well. 

Andrew Joseph White's style of writing is one I admire greatly. His use of language is one I find beautiful and so intricately thought out. One particular example of this is the theme of medical practise and gore used throughout the book. Almost all the language and adjectives used by Silas relate back to this theme, and it reads wonderfully. For example, Daphne (before we know her as Daphne) is described as being ''as sharp and as striking as a scalpel.'' Even in the most innocent of contexts, AJW manages to weasel in the medical theme of the book in such a genius way. This is, of course, only one example, but this style of writing is constant throughout the book.

The story is compelling and so multi-layered that I could barely keep myself away from the book. You discover what's happening along with Silas, and each area of death, sexual assault, gore and much more are handled with such precision and care by AJW. He holds nothing back in terms of the nitty-gritty stuff. Descriptions of gore, blood and guts are all horrifying to envision but they draw the reader in with morbid curiosity. Finding out George was apart of it all was something I never could had predicted and I genuinely started pointing at the book and cussing him out, I was so pissed. 

★★★★★

Such a beautifully raw and captivating story about religion, queerness, and the supernatural.

Benji is a fleshed out, complex character. His and his families ties to Evangelism are so interesting to read about, particularly as an Atheist myself who really knows nothing about the different facets of it. AJW, yet again, manages to world build in a truly impressive way with his writing and give the reader a cohesive idea of the narrative, even if the reader has no prior knowledge of some of the subject matter. 

I love Benji's slow decent into becoming a Seraph. My favourite scene in the book is when his face literally starts falling apart. AJW's writing is bloody and unapologetic and he refuses to leave any of the nasty details out, spelling each horror out for the reader, and I can never get enough of it. Benji's qualms with himself and the destiny set for him are so fascinating to read about. He's so complex and interesting and I loved this book, cover to cover.

★★★★★

One of the most beautifully written books I've ever read.

I found it when myself and my family were driving down to Glasgow to look at a car we never ended up buying, and we stopped to get coffee at a Tesco on the way back. I was bored and while waiting for my parents to get their drinks so we could leave, I went to nosey around in the book section, and saw a pink cover with red lines, and thought it looked interesting.  By the time we were leaving, I'd gotten to the page where we see Louisa's scars, the first explicit implication that the book is about self-harm, and I was absolutely hooked. I'm someone who has dealt with self-harm for a longer time than I can even remember. The second we got home, I found the book online and read it in a matter of days. I still remember bawling my eyes out like a baby after I'd finished it. As soon as I could, I bought the paperback and in the good few years since I read it for the first time, I'm re-reading it again.

Such an important book for me personally, to have all of my internalised grief and self-hatred spelled out on a page was monumental to a younger me, and the same now. I think I was 13 or 14 when I read it for the first time and I'm turning 18 in less than a year, and this book will forever be held closely to my heart. Charlie's story is raw, unfiltered and painful to read, Kathleen Glasgow leaves nothing out. We see every single tedious feeling she has and it's so beautiful to see written. It was gripping in story, I can still remember gasping when secrets were finally revealed to us and after Charlie's life kept being flipped on it's head. Louisa's death had me in floods of tears.

★★★★★

Watched the movie first, fell in love, read the book second, fell even harder.

Even though Henry's British dialect is so obviously written by an American in areas, the book is a phenomenal portrayal of queerness and the struggles that come along with it, amplified to monumental proportions for those in the spotlight.

I am a sucker for the cliche enemies-to-lovers trope and this book scratches that itch in my brain. Henry's trepidation and anxieties surrounding his relationship with Alex's and the potential implications it has against his royal status are written beautifully, and his unwavering devotion to Alex despite it all warm this old cynics heart. I adore their clash in personalities; Henry's reluctancy to be in love with Alex, and Alex's blunt-force adoration of Henry and unwillingness to feel anything other than love for this man in his life.

The spice level is absolutely perfect and the organic back and forth banter between the two is a genuinely captivating read and I keep finding myself coming back to this book to re-read once again.