I'll either find a way or I'll make one.

This post goes harder than any post has ever gone before.

This is honestly what i look like in my minds eye

Soulmates are not your ~other half~, that’s just nonsense. You are a whole person already, not half a person. A soulmate isn’t even inherently romantic. A soulmate is just the other sock in a matched set. You’re still a whole, complete sock on your own, you are perfectly functional paired with any other sock, it’s just that it’s even better when you match. A soulmate is literally just the person who makes your soul go “!!! Same hat!!!” and wave excitedly.

Oh BITCH this is a mood

I forget where it was but I saw jeans for sale and like they were labeled as “girlfriend cut” instead of ‘boyfriend’ and like the irony to me is that the term “boyfriend style jeans” was originally done as this weird way to heterosexualize the dangerous idea of women wearing slightly loose pants so you knew you weren’t a dyke but like apparently the use of the term “boyfriend” was like too much of a gender confusion crisis for the buyer so they had to change it *again* as opposed to just calling it “loose fitting” to begin w and now it has fully no-homo’d itself into a corner and it just sounds like yr stealing yr jeans from some butch girl yr dating

that dadrock alignment chart thats going around atm is so fucking bad im gonna make one thats like. good dadrock alignment chart

OP knows what’s up

one time i was on an old street in glasgow and i made a loud joke about vampires and as i did this beautiful man with long hair on the other side of the street made direct eye contact with me and then ten minutes later he walked by again and looked at me and I still count that on my list of the five closest times I’ve ever come to dying

likely: I am just too loud to not look at in public places and he was just lost downtown also likely: vampire, scoping me out for the kill

maybe the vampire just thought you were hot and funny?

a vampire finding u hot and interesting is AS bad as them finding you ugly and annoying as far as the Trying To Remain Human And Alive thing goes

It must be hard for the vampire too. Technically as they prey on humans for their blood, they rank higher than us in the food chain. To them, we are but sentient sandwiches. A vampire finding a human attractive has my eternal sympathy, because it’s basically like falling in love with a sandwich and that must be difficult to process.

What the actUAL FUCK AM I LOOKING AT JESUS CHRIST

X

Hit reblog on this so hard

SHOUT OUT TO KRISTEN BELL’S MOM THOUGH? WHAT KIND OF FANTASTIC SELF-AWARE PARENTING, WELL DONE MA'AM