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rebeliz7

Aug 21, 2025

THE SHADOW III

Chapter 3: Welcome Home

Warning: Depressive themes. Lots of angst. Blood and violence.

Word count: 5551

…

Morning comes with a flurry of activity.

You leave your bedroom with Vision by your side, and your stomach tied in knots.

You find new recruits, left and right, new young faces ready to prove their worth. You’re all to leave on the mission that might give you a starting point in defeating Hydra for good, and you can’t wait for it to be over.

After this is over you’ll be free, for real this time. You can walk away, and no one will follow, not this time.

You keep your head down as you walk towards the hanger, not wanting to talk to anyone. The space between your chest and stomach aches so deeply that you can’t think of anything beyond it.

You’ve never hurt like this before, and you don’t like it.

“Not even a hello.” You hear Jessica’s voice, and you look up. You did think of calling her last night, but a part of you knew that she was brought in with you.

Still, you feel as if you’re dreaming. None of this feels real, not the plan and definitely not what you agreed to do.

“Hey.” You answer, and she gives you a look that you can’t read. Is it pity? Sympathy? Is she angry that you got her into this mess?

Everyone who knows you ends up like this… paying the price of knowing you. Jessica is just another unfortunate person to have met you.

“You look like shit.” She dryly tells you, and you feel a ghost of a smile on your face. You find you can't do much more than that at the moment.

Why are you hurting like this? You’ve known you love Carol for a long time. Were you hoping that she still felt the same way? No… you don’t think so.

“Thanks.” You reply, and you continue your walk. It’s not like you didn’t already know that you don’t look your best. You couldn’t sleep last night, and not even a bottle of whiskey could help.

“No snarky reply?” She asks as she falls into step with you. Vision is waiting for you a few steps ahead, and you nod at him. Such a quiet guy, that one.

“Not in the mood.” You speak while eyeing your surroundings. It’s true that your room has been kept the exact same as you left it fourteen months ago, but the same cannot be said about the Compound.

You see new gear on the agents, new panels on the walls, new locks where there were none before, new offices and new weaponry. A lot of new weaponry.

“Hey.” Jessica stops you with a hand on your arm. “Did you get any sleep? Hey.”

You look into her eyes reluctantly and she sighs. Her expression turns worried, and you look away quickly.

“What happened last night?” She asks as two young agents walk by you, and Steve rounds the far right corner. He’s coming your direction, and you look away before he can catch your eyes.

“Besides getting caught, you mean?” You retort, and she gives you an exasperated look. “I just want this over with.”

“Hey.” She grabs your arm again, preventing you from walking away. “You look out of it, and you need your shit together for what we’re about to do here.”

“We?” You ask her and she shrugs her shoulders, resignation flashing through her expression.

“I’m glad you decided to join us.” Steve says as he comes to a stop next to you, but you don’t look at him directly. Besides, he’s not even talking to you.

“Sure. Whatever.” Jessica practically snarls before she walks ahead of you, and you’re left watching her retreating figure. She’s never wanted to join the Avengers, not even as an outside consultant. Why now?

“You good?” Steve asks you but like you, he’s also avoiding meeting your eyes.

“Yeah.” You walk away from him too, and finally make your way to the hanger.

You have no desire to talk to him, not now and maybe not ever. You know you’ve disappointed him, and he’ll never trust you again. He’s right about you anyway, so you’re not about to try to change his mind.

You focus on checking your gear to keep yourself busy, not that you’ll need much. You have a specific mission, and you’re good at taking orders, so you try to focus on that.

A part of you feels saddened though, because fourteen months ago Natasha would have opposed what you’re about to do with every fiber of her being and now? Now you’ve lost her too, in more ways than one.

“Wheels up in five.” Natasha’s voice carries through, and you look over to see her walking in with Carol by her side.

That heaviness in the pit of your stomach threatens to make you sick again. You see Carol handing Natasha her phone, and Natasha’s lips moving before she leans forward, and kisses Carol’s lips with familiarity, and a smile.

You look and you feel broken.

Maybe Jessica was right. Maybe you deserve to feel like this.

“There you are.” Wanda enters your view, and she’s smiling hesitantly at you, as if she knows what you’re seeing and she doesn’t know what to say to make it better. “Come on. You and I are flying solo, remember?”

You follow her blindly, and you can’t shake yourself out of this stupor that you’ve suddenly fallen under. How do you move on from this? How do you pretend to be okay with watching this?

You don’t want to be here. You don’t want actual proof of Carol moving on with someone else. You think you’ll be fine with knowing it, survive it, but actually seeing it? You don’t think that you can stomach looking at Natasha kissing Carol again.

“Cap wants to say something before we go.” You hear Wanda say, and you look up to find yourself standing with everyone else in a circle in the middle of the hanger.

You’re not paying attention. You’re in a haze. Maybe you should have stopped running a long time ago. Maybe everyone would be better off if you were to just…

Steve launches into one of his motivational speeches, but all you can focus is on Carol and Natasha standing behind him, to his right.

They look so good together. They look like they were made for each other.

That’s all she wanted with you, she wanted you to stand beside her, be there with her in front of everyone else.

“Let’s end this once, and for all.” Steve finishes, and you catch his eyes at the last second, but you look away before you can see the disappointment he seems to reserve for you alone.

“Hey.” You hear Natasha’s voice, and you look at her. You didn’t even notice people moving, or her closing in on you.

She meets your eyes with a passive stare, and you know her well enough to know that she won’t show you another emotion, not anymore.

She might think that she’s betraying you, or maybe even thinks of you as a threat. You know Natasha well enough to know that she protects what she loves with blood, and it’s clear that she loves Carol.

“Hey.” You nod at her and she steps closer to you, her eyes taking every inch of your face with an analytic look.

“I know you said you’re ready for this.” She begins.

“I am.” You assure her, because you know what to do and you’ll get it done. You’re good at missions and they know it, you won’t mess this up. You want this over because you need to be the one to end it. This is your fight.

“I need you alive, you hear me?” She orders you and you smile sadly.

“Yes, ma’am.”

“We’ll talk when we’re back home, ok?” Your skin prickles, and your eyes begin to water. You don’t want to talk, you just want this to be over, all of it. “There are things that you need to know. Important things.”

“Okay.”

You follow Wanda to your designated jet and you keep your head down, choosing to focus on the pavement rather than anyone’s face. It’s becoming difficult for you to swallow, you feel so out of place, like a stranger. You feel like you’re interrupting everything by just being here.

“You ready for this?” Wanda asks you while you buckle up, and the jet starts to roar to life.

“Yeah.” You nod, but you can’t smile back. You are ready for this, you want Hydra buried. You want to finish your battles.

…

You and Wanda land in San Diego exactly when you’re supposed to. The moment you catch sight of your target, you will yourself to focus on the mission instead of the pain that’s quickly spreading in your chest.

You can’t think about Carol now, not when you’re about to talk to the one person that you swore you’d never see again.

“Is that him?” Wanda asks you when she notices you staring.

“That’s Frederik.” You nod as he finally sets foot on the ground. “His wife isn’t here though.” You notice, and you immediately grow suspicious of everything, but you begin to walk towards him anyway.

You take notice of your surroundings with practiced ease. You spot his security detail spread out all over the place like you expected it to be. It’s weird to feel comforted by the fact that they still use the same traveling protocols, so you’re not completely lost.

“Isn’t Frederik the mission?” Wanda asks as she makes quick work of the guards around Frederik’s Land Rover. She hasn’t seen the rest around you yet, but you don’t expect them to attack anytime soon.

Your heart is already hammering inside of your chest. You can’t believe you’re here, in front of him again.

Frederik panics when Wanda renders his men unconscious, but you see the moment he recognizes you.

He’s wearing exactly what you always see him wearing in your dreams. A tailor made white suit, a gray shirt underneath the jacket, and dark aviators that he takes off with a trembling hand as you approach.

“Shadow.” He smiles softly, surprised and his blue eyes take you in as if you are what he’s been waiting for all along.

For all you know, you are.

The things you did at his command…

the people you slaughtered because they needed something out of them…

the places you turned to dust because they needed you to…

Everything flashes through your eyes when you meet his stare, and you feel as if you’re in someone else’s body.

“Sorry to interrupt your plans for the day, Fred. We need to talk.” You speak and his smile is hesitant, he’s sincerely shocked to see you.

“I can’t believe you’re here. Why would you be here?” He asks you, and your blood boils.

When you escaped Hydra, you killed almost everyone who was in charge of keeping the agents compliant. Frederik gave you the password to the main gate, but he refused to leave with you, even though you were willing to take him with you.

He saved your life by helping you escape that day, and you haven’t forgotten it.

You haven’t forgotten the things you did under his command though.

“Get in.” Wanda orders him when she catches your hesitation, and when he takes a second too long in getting in the car, Wanda pushes him with a wave of her powers and zero considerations.

Wanda is quick to get in behind Frederik, and you take a moment to take a look at the mess that you’re already leaving behind. There are a dozen men unconscious on the ground, two suitcases that were never put in the trunk.

You get behind the wheel, and turn on the ignition. You’re trembling slightly, and Frederick is watching you like a hawk through the rearview mirror.

You promised yourself that you’d never see him again. You promised yourself that you’d stay away and out of his reach and now you’re here, attempting to trick him.

You take a moment to think, but the second you glance in the mirror again his bright blue eyes are on you.

“You used to keep your word. It was one of the things I liked most about you. You promised to never return.” He says as you drive, and you shake your head.

You want to believe that there’s double meaning to his words, but you never know with him.

“I haven’t returned.” You tell him. “I wasn’t the one chasing you like a maniac around the world now, was I?” You retort, but you don’t look in the mirror again. You do, however, take notice of the two motorcycles following you, and the two police cars that are suddenly on your tail.

One thing you learnt when you were by his side was that there are absolutely no coincidences in Hydra. There might be more manpower here today, than you were expecting.

“You came back to the States like I knew you would. You were always the first one to return home, remember?”

His words catch you by surprise, and you’re sure that he notices your slight confusion. You don’t remember another operative working alongside you, but his implications were obvious.

You always worked alone, or at least you did after you yielded. He’s giving you information here, the only question is why.

“You’re an asshole, Fred.” You sigh as you turn to take the intersection towards the highway, and he laughs.

“I’ve missed you.” He sighs deeply, and your stomach tightens. You remember the sound of his laughter with enormous sentiment, but the scene is getting crowded and it’s clear that he’s not underestimating you at all.

Which tells you only one thing, this is a trap and you’re exactly where she wants you to be. She knows that you’re here to end everything, just like she knows that you won’t go down easily.

They made you after all, they know you better than anyone else ever could. They know you better than you know yourself.

But the thought that there are more like you is jarring. You knew about the rest of the Winter Soldiers, of course, but you never thought - it never occurred to you that you might not be the only Shadow under Hydra’s thumb.

“How many were there?” Wanda asks him, and you focus on the crowded road ahead of you. Your skin is prickling, you can feel the anticipation in the air, and you can only hope that the team is already in place.

This is the hard part about working with the Avengers, you have to trust them to have your back completely.

“Many.” You hear Frederick say, as you avoid hitting a truck. “But my shadow was one of a kind. Destruction was never as perfect as she made it to be.”

The way he speaks, as if you belong to him - it makes you livid, it makes you want to see something burn, it makes you want to hit someone until your fists are soaked in their blood.

You hit on the breaks, and he laughs as you grip the steering wheel with all your strength.

“I am not yours.” You speak slowly, and his laughter dies down slowly.

“I guess not anymore, you’re not.” He concedes. “But did you really think that you were the only one? You know there was more than one Winter Soldier. Don’t tell me that you really thought that you were our only Shadow?”

You chuckle dryly, and finally see proof that the team is already here. You know what he’s capable of, so you know that he could very well walk away from all of this unscathed, especially if there are more like you.

You decide on a different path then, you’re not letting them get away. You need the team to know exactly who is the one giving the orders in Hydra.

A plan forms in your mind in the blink of an eye, a very dangerous plan that won’t exactly make anyone like you one bit.

“I suspected it.” You bluff as you meet his eyes through the mirror again. “That’s why I brought some people with me too.”

For a couple of seconds everything becomes eerily silent, and he glares at you before his stare turns insecure. It occurs to you then that maybe, just maybe he’s not in on the entire plan. She had a knack for using him however she pleased after all.

You’re about to step on the gas when you catch sight of a fast approaching car from behind. Wanda catches sight of it too, and she’s quick to steer that car away, but her momentary distraction is enough for Frederik to attach a device to her neck and you let it happen because, well, you have a plan too.

Wanda goes out like a switch light, and Frederik jumps out of the car, all in the span of two seconds.

Terrified of what he did to Wanda you still have to jump right behind him, and you manage to take him down just as he’s about to take off running.

“Not so fast.” You pin him to the hard ground, but he’s smiling at you.

“You know you won’t win this fight.” He tells you, as absolute chaos unravels around you. You rest assured knowing that the team is listening in on what he’s saying, though you can’t hear them. You think you prefer it that way, especially for what you’re about to do.

The Avengers are here, and Frederik’s men are surrounding you. Bullets begin to ricochet off the car, and you pull Frederik against the passenger’s door to protect him.

“Get me out of here.” He orders you, his hand fisting your jacket, and forcing you to face him. “That’s an order.”

His bright blue eyes pierce through you and you hear an explosion, bullets are still being shot and a quinjet is going down behind you, and you - and you can’t look away from Frederik’s eyes.

You need to make this work, you only hope that the team doesn’t believe that you’re turning on them.

“Shadow.” He calls you and you close your eyes, his voice and what you’re about to do making you slightly dizzy. “Get me out of here, now!”

You get him inside the car quickly, and you take stock of what’s going on quickly. Wanda is still unconscious in the back seat, Steve is fighting someone just as strong as he is about fifty feet away, and he doesn’t seem to be doing so well.

You think about joining, you consider it, but you know that you won’t get another chance like this one. You look above and you catch sight of Tony firing his repulsors, everyone else must be in their positions, and you’re about to stray from their plan.

“Where to?” You ask Frederik as you jump in the driver’s seat, and turn the car around.

“You never disappoint.” Fred laughs as you speed away, and he tells you an address.

“The people behind, are they - ?” You ask him, and change gears to push the car to go faster. The rest of the team is following now, no doubt about it, but you were always good at your job and you know that they won’t catch you. Not until you want them to.

“Yes.” He answers, and your blood runs cold. If one thing the Avengers don’t know about you, it's what you’re truly capable of.

You chance a look in the rearview mirror, and you can’t help but feel as if you’re once again disappointing them. Betraying them by leaving them to handle six Shadows by themselves.

You know Steve still believes that the Winter Soldiers are the worst assassins that Hydra ever created, but you know first hand how wrong he is about that.

“You’re not one of them.” Frederick says, and you glance towards Wanda, but she’s still knocked out cold. He’s still able to read you, he always could.

“She’s okay, right?” You ask him, and he laughs.

“Since when do you worry about anyone other than us?” You glare at him, and he waves you off. “She’ll be fine. I just knocked her out for a bit.”

“What’s the plan?” You ask him next, but he doesn’t answer right away. You can feel him looking at you, but you focus on driving.

Was this a good plan? Are you doing the right thing here? You’re about to walk right into the wolf’s lair willingly, and you might not make it back home. Even worse, everyone must be convinced that you've double crossed them right now.

If you give them the right person to take down, then maybe it'll be worth it though, even if you don’t return. Especially if you don’t return.

“You’re not one of them.” He repeats, and you take a deep breath. You’ve come this far, you can’t let him get to you now.

“Tell me something I don’t know.” You answer, as you check to see if someone is following you. There are, of course there are. Fred is one of Hydra’s highest operatives, and they were never gonna leave him unprotected.

“Why did you come with them?” He asks you, and you roll your eyes.

“They caught me, and made something better out of me.” The honesty you reply with surprises you, but he laughs, as if what you’ve just said is the most absurd thing he’s ever heard.

“Dear, you can’t be unmade. You are who you are. Destruction was always your path. We didn’t put that in you, you were a natural. Still are, I bet.”

“You have no idea.” You agree, and he laughs harder. You smile too, and you remember things that weren’t exactly terrible as well.

At least he tried to make it seem like it wasn’t all bad, and you do appreciate him for it.

“This is what they do.” He says when the laughter dies down, and the city becomes a blur as you speed through it. “I bet they called you an Avenger too, but you must have known that they just wanted you tamed. They recognize potential, you’re of great service, dear. Just like your friend here.”

His words make you hurt again, this time in a way that you can’t brush off as easily.

Everything that he just said has crossed your mind already. You’ve always known, and knowing that the team is listening in makes you feel ill.

Of course they don’t trust you, not completely. You were Hydra. You were their golden assassin, and the only reason the Avengers kept you around was because of your abilities and the intel you could provide. You know this.

“There’s more than blood, and torture out in the world. Did it ever occur to you that I deserved to know that?” You ask him and he sighs deeply, his eyes still focused on you as you speed past a red light, and a car screeches to a stop to avoid crashing into you.

“You were supposed to help us create a new world. Carving a new way is not as easy as it sounds. You always knew it. You believed in the cause and we didn’t make you believe, that was you. That was what made you the best.”

That wasn’t it at all. You were just a fast learner though, and it didn’t take you long to realize that they were playing with your head just like they did with the Winter Soldier.

So you complied willingly, you swore loyalty before they could demand it of you again. You don’t exactly know how many times they reset you before that, and you don’t want to know either. You have a lifetime of horrors living in your brain with the things that you do remember already.

Once they thought you believed in the cause they let you keep your memories, they let you become one of them, they let you in and you fucking bloomed. They loved it.

You weren’t loyal, you didn’t believe in conquering the world, and you are not a nazi, which is basically what Hydra truly is.

Yes, you’ve always been destruction. You were always good at it, but you also managed to outsmart them all until the day you escaped.

Still, Frederik was probably the best one of the bunch, although he’s not a good person, not by a long shot.

“I believed in you.” You correct him, and your voice might be soft when you speak, but you know he hears you loud and clear. He wanted a better world, you know that he was honest about that at least, and you needed something to latch onto back then.

“I know you did, dear.” The sadness in his tone is hard to miss, but you don’t look back.

“I have to admit I wasn’t expecting you to come after me like this.” You confess, and he chuckles while checking his phone.

“I didn’t. It wasn’t me but you already know that, don’t you?”

“The missus, was it?” You ask him, and you’re not surprised when you see him nodding, although him throwing his phone out the window is alarming.

You’re about to speak when he raises his hands, and points to his aviators. You’re being watched already, and for some reason he’s willing to help you one more time.

“You know her.” Fred continues conversationally, and you catch on immediately. Frederik often got in trouble for having considerations with you, his wife wasn’t too fond of you. She wanted soldiers surrounding them, not friends who could become a problem later on.

You never considered Fred a friend, not really. He’s Hydra’s golden boy, the smartest brain to have ever graced their ranks. After you escaped you never thought that you could have left him exposed to danger… but that’s what you do, isn’t it?

She’s watching him, listening, using him still.

You check the rearview mirror, and without a second thought you step on the gas. They try to catch up with you but you’re still a Shadow, they have no real chance against you.

It takes you less than two minutes to lose them in the city, and Frederick is gripping your arm by the time you slow down.

“Make a left.” You do without question, but he pushes the steering wheel further, and you let him because it’s obvious that he has a plan.

You hit on the breaks with just enough time to not hurt either one of you badly. The car crashes against a small house around the corner and you see Frederik crushing the glasses with his shoe on the ground.

“She’s on her way. You need to leave.” He tells you, but you don’t let him exit the car that fast.

“What the hell, Fred?” You ask him in a rush, and you notice him shaking. You’re fisting his fancy jacket, and his eyes are crazily looking around. You’re not worried yet, you can still get him and Wanda out of here alive.

“You were right.” He grips your wrists with his hands. “You were right to leave. I need to show you something before they get here. Come on.”

He tries to make for the door, but you can’t leave Wanda behind. You’re torn, and for a moment you don’t know what to do.

“Come on!” Fred yells, and you follow him out. You have to trust that the team is following you. You have to trust that they are still listening.

“Fuck.” You curse under your breath and with one last look at your friend, you run behind Fred.

You two run down two streets before a small tattoo shop comes into view. You instantly recognize the eerie decor around it, and you can’t help but curse under your breath. Hiding in plain sight of the world, Hydra is a master at that.

You follow Frederik inside, and when he orders you to take down the two guards in front of you, you don’t even think about it, and it feels oddly familiar to obey him.

It also makes you a little sick.

“Make it look good.” He tells you next, and he braces himself in front of you. You frown, but you already saw the cameras to his back, and you know this needs to happen.

You grab him in a chokehold, and push him further inside, and he fights you all the way in. You force him to have his retines scanned for a door to open, and when it does, you’re ready for it.

You press Frederik’s back against the wall when the first rain of bullets comes your way.

“Home sweet home.” You say, and Fred smiles nervously at you. “Quite a party.”

“A party of six, to be exact.” Frederik tells you, and you nod.

The moment you run inside you do it expecting a few hits, and they don’t disappoint. With a well placed kick you knock the machine gun from the closest guard before breaking his nose with the heel of your palm, and knocking his head against the wall of the two feet wide dark hallway.

You notice them wearing night vision goggles, which tells you that they’re all human. You, on the other hand, can see slightly better than the average person in the dark.

The next one points his gun directly to your chest, but your reflexes are faster. He shoots just as you push his hand away, and the bullet graces your arm. You headbutt him before taking his gun, and shooting twice under his chin. He drops like a rock.

You shoot another one in the foot, and while he screams you put a bullet in his eye. Another one is stupid enough to try to land a punch on you. You grab this one by the neck, and throw him against the two left standing.

“Well hi there, boys.” You smile at them, and before they can raise their guns on you again, you put three bullets between three pairs of eyes in quick succession.

“There’s no time to waste.” Frederik walks ahead of you, and you don’t look back.

There are no cameras inside, there never were. Hydra is not fond of keeping their worst experiments on tape. That’s why they’re so into making their scientists live forever, or as long as they can.

Frederik once told you that his great grandson was about to get married, but you didn’t ask any questions, and he didn’t offer any more information.

The hallways are dark, and they only get darker the further you go in. When Frederik finally stops to reach for a light switch, you find yourself wishing that you were anywhere else but here.

“Nine minutes and forty seven seconds.” Sarah says from the middle of the room, where she stands clad in a red business suit, her wrist raised as she checks her Rolex.

She was waiting for you all along.

“What?” Frederik gasps, and you realize that he didn’t know about this. She played him, she knew you were coming, probably knew that Stark was spying on them for as long as he was.

She might even have sent him the information about Frederik’s flight, and the Avengers bit into it easily. Which is exactly why you didn’t tell them about her.

You’re her creation after all. You knew that she was gonna be here if she knew that you were coming, and you needed her to be seen. You needed her out of the dark.

“I wish I could say it was nice to see you again.” You tell her and she laughs softly, her heels clicking on the cemented floor as she approaches you.

She’s alone, but you’re not stupid enough to believe that there aren’t at least a dozen snipers pointing right at your head right now, even though you can’t see them. She never takes any chances.

“There’s no need for petty lies. You despise me, although I see you’re still very fond of my husband.”

“You used me.” Frederik accuses her and Sarah shrugs delicately, a pretty smile on her face as she waves him off.

“Well, hello there!” Someone says from the back of the room, and you have to squint your eyes to be able to see through all that darkness. There are three small cages behind Sarah, and the man talking to you is curled into himself as he looks at you. “You’re new, although I think I’ve seen you before.”

“Why is he still talking?” Sarah asks exasperatedly, and you hear several switches being pulled. One by one the large lamps all around the floor turn on.

This is a facility large enough to conceal a laboratory, and an army. You’re standing in the middle of the R&D division, you’ve been in a similar place countless times before…

...you can’t believe you’re back.

“We cut off his tongue this morning like you asked, but he already grew a new one.” A doctor informs her, and Sarah rolls her eyes while someone knocks Frederik unconscious behind you.

You should be worried about him, you should be worried about the guy that’s had his tongue cut off, or maybe even about the two girls in cages right next to him but all you can see is the damn chair in the middle of it all.

You promised yourself that you wouldn’t let this happen to you again. You can’t - you won’t.

“As much fun as this has been.” Sarah addresses you. “I do have a busy agenda today.”

“I bet.” You nod, and she smiles at you. If there was anyone who did scare you back in the day, it was this woman, and her thirst for power.

“Reset her.” She orders, and you rage.

“Like hell.” You murmur just as an army of Hydra operatives come out of the shadows to surround you.

“I’m rooting for the one without a weapon!” The guy who got his tongue cut off this morning shouts, and you’d frown if you weren’t worried about your memories being wiped.

“Welcome home, dear.” Sarah tells you with a sweet smile before she raises a gun at you, and shoots.

…

#carol danvers x female reader #captain marvel imagine #carol danvers angst #carol danvers x you #carol danvers x reader #carol danvers imagine #the shadow #my shadow

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