🐀

[names my sons cain and abel] alright. get to it

i literally cannot drink milk normally i gotta chug

whore

sometimes u gotta be like “ okay ” & leave that shit alone

*draws a pentagram in your address book* call me when you’re free king

Team “not actually oblivious to flirting, just terrified of appearing presumptuous” represent.

“Yes, in the balance of consideration this person’s behaviour could certainly be interpreted as flirtatious, but it would be purest arrogance for me to just assume they actually meant what they said. I should gather more evidence. Forever.”

the best part of being a kid was when you realized that birth is a curse and existence is a prison but instead of being sad about it just ignored it entirely for months or even years by roleplaying being a horse or a mythical creature or a warrior cat or something 24/7

oh to be 8 years old and capable of ignoring all my questions and insecurities about my body and identity by simply imagining that i'm a feral cat living in the woods again