The Stonewall Inn
ojovivo
hello vonnie
Andulka
Monterey Bay Aquarium
gracie abrams
shark vs the universe
macklin celebrini has autism
Origami Around
$LAYYYTER
ellievsbear
Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
Product Placement
Game of Thrones Daily
trying on a metaphor
❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
roma★
One Nice Bug Per Day
seen from Poland
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@realstembarbie
Barbie finishes a project
"YES!" said Barbie. "I'm finally finished with this tedious and irritating project! I finally made all the plots! I tore out only half my hair in the process!"
"Congrats," said Jane, but she was drowned out by the ding of an email notification.
"These are nice plots," said the email from the postdoc, "But they're totally irrelevant. I didn't even tell you to make any plots.”
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Barbie considers the gravity of her mistakes
Barbie walked up to her professor.
"Um, excuse me," she said, "I'm getting some bad data--I'm wondering if I can take it out?"
Her teacher was appalled. "Bad data? BAD DATA? There is no such thing as bad data - only bad data collectors."
"But it shows gravity pointing up," said Barbie.
"So it would seem and so you shall write. Data is perfect. Now leave before you upset the data gods."
Barbie experiences true fear
"My teacher said the worst four words today," said Barbie.
"Was it 'You failed the exam'?" asked Jane.
"'I will assign groups'," said Barbie.
Barbie learns new software
It was Barbie's first time using LaTeX and she was confused.
"Ugh what. What is happening? HOW DO YOU DO ANYTHING?"
"Just stick with it," said Jane, "LaTeX is the best."
"Yeah," said Brian, "I love LaTeX."
"FUCKING LATEX IS THE BEST!" came a yell from the hallway.
Soon, the entire building was yelling about how great it was. Barbie still had no idea how to do anything.
Barbie learns about the important of academic diversity
"Ugh," said Barbie. "The other girl in the class was out sick. Now it was just me."
"How many people are in the class?" asked Jane.
"53."
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Barbie grows up
"You know," said Barbie, "I used to get excited about snow days. Hot chocolate, snowmen, staying home."
"Not anymore?" asked Jane.
"No. Now I just worry about making up labs, my laptop running out of battery if the electricity goes out, and pipes busting."
Barbie emails a professor
"Hey Jane," said Barbie, "I'm trying to write an email to a professor who won't give me an extension even though my arm literally fell off yesterday. Is 'fuck you' too informal for an email?"
"I'd go with 'Dearest sir: please fuck thyself,'" said Jane.
Barbie goes to lab
"I'm confused," said Barbie, "This sample says it has an activity of 300 micro Curie, but that's not what I measured at all."
"Yeah," said the TA, "It had an activity of 300 micro Curie at some point. And by some point I mean 50 years ago. This sample is from 1962. It has a half life of one year. Good luck."
Barbie goes to a workshop
"Hey Barbie," said her postdoc, "Are you coming to the lab workshop?"
"I don't know," said Barbie, "I have about 8 problem sets due tomorrow."
"But there's free food!" said the postdoc. "And alcohol! ...Wait, are you 21?"
"No," said Barbie.
"Even better!" said the postdoc.
Barbie returns to her delusions
"I love the first week of classes," said Barbie. "No labs, no discussions- it's like they want to be nice and ease us back into classes."
"Or lull us into a false sense of security," said Jane.
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Barbie tries C
"C, also known as 'Fuck you for wanting to know what's wrong with your code,'" said Barbie. "This error might as well say 'Segmentation fault 11: Please jump off a cliff and stop trying.'"
Barbie learns about social interactions
Barbie got her invitation to the lab social.
"Significant others are invited?" said Barbie, "Ugh why are the people in my lab such adults?"
"You should bring Drunken Hookup Dude," offered Jane.
"Nah, not sure if I actually like him sober," said Barbie. "Luckily, there'll be drinks there. So if it goes badly, at least no one will remember it."
Barbie procrastineats
"Ugh," said Barbie, "I just want to procrastinate on internship applications by eating food."
"Don't you pay for that food with your internships?" asked Jane.
"You're right," said Barbie, "next year I'll procrastinate by starving because I won't have an internship."
"At least you won't be able to procrastinate long," said Jane.
Barbie fights for her armrest
Barbie was sitting in class when she noticed that the guy next to her was leaning aggressively on her armrest. She elbowed him in the side. "Hey asshole," she whispered, "the tiny lecture hall armrest desk is sacred territory. Get off my desk or face my wrath."
Barbie buys textbooks (continued)
"Hey Jane," said Barbie, "can I see your textbook for the homework problems?"
"Didn't you buy your own?" said Jane.
"I did, but it turns out the Russian mafia is in the sketchy international textbook business, so my copy got confiscated at customs by the CIA."
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Barbie buys textbooks
"Let's play a game," said Barbie. "It's called, 'Guess which of these required textbooks will actually be useful for this class.' The punishment for losing is poverty."
Barbie chooses a font
Barbie anxiously looked over her resume. "What font says 'please hire me, I'm desperate? Times New Roman or Garamond?'"
Jane shrugged. "With my luck, I might as well just use comic sans."