Kraz(:

(guy whos scared of everything and feels guilty about everything) sorry i got scared and felt guilty

Y’all can be screaming every time you see a gorilla

i think if i were a jedi i would make it my life mission to make yoda angry. i would give anything to hear his little goblin voice mutter the words “thin fucking ice, you are on” and click his little cane on the ground. i would do anything. kick him as im walking and be like “oh sorry didnt see you there.” go with him to the market and try to buy him for four credits and say “oh my bad i thought you were a head of cabbage.” raise all the chairs in the jedi temple just an inch. catch him while he’s sleeping and paint his little nails and then be like “odd that someone caught you slippin master yoda. wonder who could have done that.” leave crumbs in his seat in the jedi council. i mean i would do anything

A leopard gecko is a type of little friend who likes how warm you are and loves worms so much he might have to bite your finger about it

Pulitzer Prize type shit

Why's this dude built like crash bandicoot

Everything about this damn post is so funny to me. The lighting of the arm from the flash. The posing of the arm like a dramatic death from a novella. The fact the photo somehow got taken still and looks this good. The subreddit name. The fact this guy really is built like crash bandicoot

ahaha you sly dog! you bastard! [getting a little too comfortable] you wretched fucking animal

give me your most controversial music opinion

the beatles were one ugly guy moving really fast

such is the extraordinary power of the elf stones

Not now, kitten, m- da- m- your parental figure is in the middle of a gender crisis

that’s kamala harris

well at least im not 11 or 12 or 13 or 14 or 15 or 16 or 17 or 18 or one of those awful years

Fie, I remember my teen years, t’was when I was a squire. Terrible thing those years. I am Johnathan Darksouls

i know you always have my back johnathan darksouls

no one says big mood anymore. no one even says mood. no one says anything. all thats left is a dry wind, that scours my face until i bleed

Anyone else notice the tumblr app being really glitchy

You'll have to go somewhere else, little boy. This is no place for you.