the bad place

im glad that people are still enjoying this blog even though i haven't posted in a year

Viral: If I see one of you fuckers in your late 20s 'uwu' at me again, it's on sight.

Simon: Sir, are you familiar with Jupiter? Avant: You mean like the planet? Simon: Yeah. Simon: Well it’s that big sir. Avant: Hmm, that sounds pretty big.  Avant: I have a question Avant: Is it Jupiter? Simon: Yes sir, earth is literally under siege by planet fucking Jupiter.  Avant: OH SHIT!

Viral: Listen, human- Simon: Please, call me Simon. Viral: I’d really rather not. Viral: If I named you, I could get attached.

Simon, reading a fortune cookie: If you kill a killer, the number of killers in the world stays the same. Viral, with a mouth full of takeout: Kill two.

Yoko: I eat Cheerios because they're heart-healthy, and my heart has been severely damaged! So, Kamina, if you're out there,

Simon, holding the Anti-Spiral at gunpoint: Tell me the name of god, you piece of shit. Anti-Spiral: Can you feel your heart burning? Can you feel the struggle within? The fear within me is beyond anything your soul can make. You cannot kill me in a way that matters. Simon cocking the gun, tears streaming down his face: I’M NOT FUCKING SCARED OF YOU

Dayakka: Come on Kittan. I wasn’t that drunk last night. Kittan: You were flirting with Kiyoh. Dayakka: So what? She’s my wife! Kittan: You asked her if she was single. Dayakka: Kittan: And then you cried when she said she wasn’t.

Kamina: Attention passengers, this is your pilot speaking. We’re going to be experiencing some heavy turbulence shortly so please strap in. This loser just bet that I couldn’t do a 360 barrel roll in this thing and let’s just say I’m gonna be $20 richer real soon.

Nia: I want to see my little boy! Simon, holding Boota: Here he comes! Nia: I want to see my little boy!

Nia: I’m going to McDonalds do you guys want anything? Simon: I want my brother back Nia: Yeah I got like 12 bucks

Simon: In your opinion, what’s the height of stupidity? Yoko: Hey Kamina, how tall are you?

Rossiu: I’m playing a new drinking game. It’s called “Every Time I’m Depressed, I Take a Drink.” Kinon: That game exists. It’s called alcoholism.

Rossiu: Well, this has gone completely fucking pear-shaped. There's no other way out of it, you're going to have to decapitate me.

Lordgenome: 4:00, wallow in self-pity. 4:30, stare into the abyss. Lordgenome: 5:00, solve world hunger, tell no one. 5:30, jazzercise. Lordgenome: 6:30, dinner with me, can't skip that again... Lordgenome: 7:00, wrestle with self-loathing.... I'm booked! Lordgenome: If I bumped loathing to 9:00, I'd have time to lay in bed, stare at the ceiling and slowly slip into madness!

Kiyal: What are you doing??? Kittan, holding a giant mirror: I am doing my eyebrows. Kiyal: That's a big ass mirror. Kittan: I have big ass eyebrows.

Yoko, on the phone with Kamina: Hello? Kamina: Hey, what's up? Yoko: I need your help. Can you come here? Kamina: I can't. I'm buying clothes. Yoko: Alright, well hurry up and come over here. Kamina: I can't find them. Yoko: What do you mean you can't find them? Kamina: I can't find them. There's only soup. Yoko: What do you mean "there's only soup"? Kamina: It means there's only soup. Yoko: Well then get out of the soup aisle! Kamina: Alright, you don't have to shout at me! Kamina: [moves to the next aisle]  Kamina: There's more soup! Yoko: What do you mean "there's more soup"?! Kamina: There's just more soup! Yoko: Go into the next aisle! Kamina: [moves to the next aisle]  Kamina: There's still soup! Yoko: Where are you right now?! Kamina: I'm at soup! Yoko: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE "AT SOUP"?! Kamina: I MEAN I'M AT SOUP! Yoko: WHAT STORE ARE YOU IN?! Kamina: I'M AT THE SOUP STORE! Yoko: WHY ARE YOU BUYING CLOTHES AT THE SOUP STORE?! Kamina: FUCK YOU!!