@ HERNERDOM NOW.

sometimes going to school is worth it.

❛ okey, you press that button & i’m just going to stand way over here. ❜

❛ i could go slower, but i don’t want to. ❜

❛ i’m glad you’re entertained. that’s very important to me. now shut up. ❜

❛ you have six seconds to answer & tell them to shut their phone. ❜

❛ oh, that’s nice. i’ve always wanted an iphone. could’ve at least fixed the screen, though. ❜

❛ hang on, i think my pizza rolls are on fire. ❜

❛ OUT, GET OUT, THE MICROWAVE CAUGHT ON FIRE! ❜

❛ who wants to jump out of the window for me? it’s for an experiment. ❜

❛ what did you draw for me? ❜

❛ i thought people drew dicks on tables only in fifth grade. ❜

❛ DON’T AIM FOR URANUS. ❜

❛ can you hold my gun for a second? ❜

❛ it was not my intention to shoot you. ❜

❛ you laughed, i didn’t, did you notice that? ❜

❛ the angle doesn’t matter, does it? ❜

❛ oh, yes, because heaven forbid people start kissing. ❜

❛ as everyone knows, kissing leads to sex. ❜

❛ oh no! a boob! whatever are we going to do!? ❜

❛ what are you—five? ❜

❛ how do you accidentally fall out of a plane? ❜

❛ congratulations, you just killed everyone. ❜

❛ THIS IS NOT A DRILL. it’s a screwdriver. ❜

❛ don’t be rude. share your gummy bears. ❜

❛ you can’t substitute water with spit. that’s just gross. ❜

❛ you can totally make a bowling ball out of feathers. ❜

*SCREAM OF TERROR*

❛ bless your ass out of here. ❜

❛ don’t give me any of that cheap stuff. ❜

❛ jesus can’t help you now. ❜

❛ i refuse to believe you’re that stupid. ❜

❛ i am done with your sarcastic attitude. ❜

❛ the only excuse for not coming is dying. ❜

❛ the only size that matters is the size of the statue. ❜

❛ i don’t get paid enough to deal with this. ❜