Things that make more sense now that I know I’m autistic:
1. Being enraged by certain sounds
2. Hating when my parents try to hug me
3. Sometimes only being able to eat soup and/or mashed potatoes
4. My shifting obsessions
5. Being petrified to do things I’ve never done before
6. Struggling to figure out if my peers were nice because they liked me or because they felt bad
7. Wondering what I did to make someone upset
8. Getting way too distracted by people’s eyes
9. Constantly moving around in some way (swaying, shaking my hands, etc.)
10. Feeling out of place even among family
11. Humming a lot as a child
12. Not taking hints when things were implied rather than outright said
13. Oversharing information that people probably didn’t want to hear and was probably inappropriate for the situation
14. Hearing words but not being able to process them right away
15. Getting overwhelmed in my own skin to the point of tears and feeling like I need to break out of my body
16. Feeling detached from my peers and the world around me
17. Needing to be babysat by my older brother in social situations despite being 19 myself
18. Spinning in circles to get that sweet sweet sensory input
19. Loving soft blankets but no not that kind of soft
20. Wanting to be held but also not wanting to be held because no one does it right
