redpanda

feverishly burning through three or four days

fighting fire with fire, the threated malaise

let live the new year, let live the life

i am increasingly reminded these days

of the old joke where a man goes to see

his doctor. and he says "doctor, doctor,

it hurts everywhere" as he prods himself

all over. and the doctor takes his hand gently,

takes hold of his finger, and tells him

he has a broken finger.

christmas eve is here —

the cat's sleeping on my stomach,

my friends asleep in chairs,

the movies are all playing

get home for christmas —

don't talk about your life and

what about christmas?

what about midnight mass,

and jesus, and hymns, and loving

one another?

what about feeling lonely, and

walking under street lights into rain, and

living unobserved? what about

christmas trees, tinsel, and advent calendars?

i know that you are thinking about

the presents, wrapped neatly by the fire,

don't read so much, just turn it off

just sleep in late, your life can always wait

go out and throw a punch, skip your lunch

forgot your friends and spend your cash on getting drunk

don't be too, don't be too clever

or we'll never take you serious,

never take you serious at all

clever never made no one happy

pretty never made no one happy

dreaming never made no one happy

i guess i never made no one happy

don't think so much, just turn it off

come with me out to the garden, lie and watch the stars then

we can fall asleep, we'll have all we need

forgot your inhibitions, and pretend like we're in love

don't be too, don't be too pretty

or we'll never take you serious,

never take you serious at all

clever never made no one happy

pretty never made no one happy

dreaming never made no one happy

please do not ask me what

i am doing. because to know what

you are, requires one of the following:

another person; a mirror;

or a good amount of self reflection. and

i have none of these. alone,