College and Career Success

Crossing the Finish Line was the largest study comparing college dropouts and graduates. Some of the findings were as follows:

It involved 200,000 students and 68 universities

High School GPA was 3-5 times a better predictor of college graduation than SAT/ACT scores

Students with high GPAs regardless of the high school graduated from colleges in larger numbers

Non-cognitive skills such as motivation, self-discipline, grit, good study and work habits, communication skills and time management skills correlated highly with college completion

High SAT/ACT scores correlated well with general intelligence, but high GPA correlated strongly with self-control and mastery of material

University of Chicago Consortium of School Research reviewed hundreds of research studies on non-cognitive Factors which enhanced college success. Some of the non-cognitive factors were:

Learning strategies, study skills, work habits, time management, goal setting and self-regulatory skills.

Help-seeking behaviors, self-knowledge, communication skills, metacognitive strategies, problem-solving skills, academic perseverance and positive academic mindset.

A good college success course teaches students all of the non-cognitive skills mentioned in this article and more. These skills are not only highly correlated with academic success, but they are also strongly related to career and life success.

References:

Bowen, William G., Matthew, M. & McPherson, Michael S. ( 2009). Crossing the Finish Line: Completing College at America’s Public Universities. Princeton University Press.

Farrington, Camile A.; Roderick, Melissa; Allensworth, Elaine; Nagaka, Jenny; Keyes, Tasha; Johnson, David W. & Beechum, Nicole. (2012). Teaching Adolescents to Become Learners: The Role of Non-Cognitive Factors in Shaping School Performance: A Critical Literature Review.

You have natural gifts waiting for you to discover. Your talents and aptitudes are part of your gifts, and when shared, they can make a positive contribution to others. These gifts are integral to your nature and aligned with who you are. Through self-observation you can often realize the types of activities you are good at and enjoy the most. You can also become aware of your non-talents, limitations and activities you dislike. Once you are aware of your favorite gifts, then you can decide in which career(s) you want to use them.

Amy, who was one of my former students, is an example of someone who was aware of her gifts, but she was undecided about her college major and which career to pursue. Amy is a talented and skilled singer and song writer. She loves music, but she told me that she did not want to become a professional musician who entertains for the sake of entertaining. She mentioned to me that her strongest desire was to help people in need.

Amy also told me that she loved children and had enjoyed some of her psychology courses. I asked her if she would like to use her musical gifts to help others if it could provide enough income. This idea appealed to her. I suggested to Amy that she investigate the field of Music Therapy which would allow her to use her musical gifts to help others.

After doing some research, Amy decided to major in Music Therapy. It was an excellent fit, she excelled as a student and she recently received her degree in Music Therapy from a university. Now she is ready to start her Music Therapy career.

So the first step is to discover your natural gifts and then to decide how and where you want to use them.

A few years ago I wrote a poem called, “The Voice of My Vocation.” It can be sung to the melody of “Seven Spanish Angels,” which was a classic sung by Ray Charles and Willie Nelson.

Here is a link to a YouTube video of Amy singing “The Voice of My Vocation.” The words have inspired some of my former students to find a career and purpose for using their natural gifts.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tkqqEJ7KgcE

Raymond Gerson

Learning patterns consist of cognitive processing, beliefs and feelings about learning, motives for learning and self-recognition based on metacognition. This conclusion was reached by J.D. Vermunt and V. Douche (Educ Psychol Rev 2017) after reviewing 925 research articles on student learning in higher education which were written from 2004-2016. The authors identified the following four qualitative learning patterns or approaches to learning: Reproduction-directed learning, meaning-directed learning, application-directed learning and undirected learning. What follows are brief explanations for each of the four learning patterns:

Reproduction-directed. Learners memorize materials in a sequential way for the purpose of doing well on tests. They see learning of knowledge as something that you take in from an outside source and they rarely consider relationships between larger units.

Meaning-directed. Learners take a deep approach to learning. They work to understand meaning, look for relationships between separate points of view, place ideas into a larger whole and actively engage with the material. They are self-regulated and feel responsible for their own learning. This learning pattern has the highest correlation with excellent grades in higher education.

Application-directed. Learners are interested in how to apply classroom knowledge to their world outside of the classroom. They look for examples that they can apply to their lives. When they see how they can apply knowledge it motivates them to learn and to engage with the study materials. Preparing for a career is a strong motive for learning.

Undirected. Learners do not know how to approach learning in a higher education environment. They usually rely on previous learning strategies that do not work well in post-secondary education. They often lack self-regulation and question their ability to succeed in higher education.

Students may be using one or more than one of these four learning patterns. Meaning-directed and application-directed learning patterns correlate strongly with the best learning outcomes in higher education. Vermunt and Donche  recommend that educators in higher education institutions strive to help students to develop and use meaning-directed and application-directed learning patterns through innovative teaching methods such as problem-solving learning, project-based learning, case-based and competency-based teaching. Review of the literature did not support a one size fits all teaching approach.

Bloom’s Taxonomy was not specifically mentioned in the article by Vermunt and Donche, but I have used questions based on Bloom’s Taxonomy in my classes to help students develop and use meaning-directed and application-directed learning.

Below is the revised terminology for Bloom’s Taxonomy with brief definitions.

Levels of Thinking 

Create - See big picture

Evaluate - Judge value

Analyze -  Compare and contrast parts

Apply - Transfer and use information

Understand - Can explain it

Remember -   Recognize and recall

In my courses there are many small group activities and discussions based on questions that I create from Bloom’s Taxonomy for a particular topic. For example, students learn about the importance of teaching others what they are learning and the value of using self-teaching when studying by themselves.

So if we covered the topic of self-teaching, I might ask students to get in small groups and give them a list of questions such as the following:

Remember. What is self-teaching? Understand. Can you explain self-teaching? Apply. How will you use it? Analyze. How would you compare and contrast self-teaching and teaching others? Evaluate: What information can you provide to support the value of self-teaching? Create. What could be changed to improve your own benefits from self-teaching.

Based on my own classroom experience and the review of the literature by Vermunt and Donche, I believe that student learning patterns can be influenced by teaching methods.

You can see the entire article at: https://doi.org/10.1007/s10648-017-9414-6

Reference:

Vermunt, J.D., Donche, V. A Learning Patterns Perspective on Student Learning in Higher Education: State of the Art and Moving Forward. Educ Psychol Rev 29, 269–299 (2017) doi:10.1007/s10648-017-9414-6.

By Raymond Gerson

Raymond Gerson taught college and career readiness courses for fourteen years at Austin Community College. He is the author of Achieve College and Achieve Career Success series (brief and full editions). These books are and have been used to teach college and career readiness and success in high schools and colleges. Educators who order multiple copies for their students can purchase additional instructor materials.

Metacognition has often been referred to as thinking about thinking. It is an awareness and understanding of our thought processes. Students reflect on the process of how they learn and become aware of learning strategies that work well for them in particular courses and strategies that are less effective or ineffective in some other courses of study.

When students understand ways that they learn, then they get better results if they apply this self-knowledge. Metacognitive regulation is the second step and is the ability to direct their attention and effort for best results when learning any task or subject. As educators we can help students to develop metacognition by encouraging them to reflect, monitor and evaluate their strategies for learning.

In a college success course that I taught for fourteen years at Austin Community College my students were required to keep a weekly journal. At the end of each week of the course students were asked to write a minimum of one page about the most important lesson they learned the previous week, how they applied it in school or outside of class and what were the results or benefits. Journals consisting of four weeks were turned in four times during the sixteen week semester for a grade.  Students were also encouraged to experiment with a variety of learning strategies that they learned in class so that they could discover which ones worked best for them.

One of my students discovered that using flash cards as a study strategy worked well in several of her classes, but not in her psychology class. She reflected on her other strengths as a learner and realized that recording and replaying lessons on her phone from her psychology class would be worth a try. Her grades in her psychology class significantly improved.

Another student was studying to be a nurse and she had to study six hours a day to do well in her courses. She was studying each day with her phone in sight and she frequently stopped studying to answer texts and phone calls. She realized that without her phone as a distraction she might be able to cut down study time and possibly improve her grades. She experimented with this approach and she only needed to study three hours a day when her phone was turned off and out of sight. Her grades also increased because she was studying with focused attention. Another benefit was that she had three extra hours of free time for whatever else she chose to do.

These student examples illustrate the value of developing and using metacognition in high-yielding ways for learning. Metacognition not only helps students in the classroom. Students learn to transfer and apply ideas and strategies they learned in class to their future careers and life.

There are a number of different models of learning styles such as sensory learning styles (visual, auditory and kinesthetic), active versus reflective learning  styles and several others.  Learning styles are actually preferences and are not unchangeable traits due to heredity.

Every few years some psychologists review the literature and conclude that learning styles in teaching have no merit and are debunked.

Richard Felder, professor at the University of North Carolina argues that, “The point is not to match teaching style to learning style, but rather to achieve balance, making sure that each style (or preference) is addressed to a reasonable extent during instruction.”

Professor Felder and Barbara Soloman designed an “Index of Learning Style Questionnaire” to help people access their learning styles or preferences. The Index has high reliability and validity and is free to take and provides feedback.  

I am copying you two links below, one is to an article by Professor Felder titled, “Are Learning Styles Invalid? Hint: No!” The other link is to the Index of Learning Style Questionnaire.

Article by Richard Felder

https://www.engr.ncsu.edu/wp-content/uploads/drive/10S5mLkGElsN8NTsYgOe_f0taEdlSpbJD/2010-LS_Validity(On-Course).pdf

Index of Learning Style Index by Felder and Soloman ( No cost to take)

https://www.webtools.ncsu.edu/learningstyles/?Learning+Styles+Survey=

Reference: Felder, Richard M. Are Learning Styles Invalid? Hint: No! https://www.engr.ncsu.edu/wp-content/uploads/drive/10S5mLkGElsN8NTsYgOe_f0taEdlSpbJD/2010-LS_Validity(On-Course).pdf

There are many non-cognitive or soft skills that enhance school, career and life success. Examples include communication, collaboration, creativity, time management and empathy. Many employers and psychologists agree that empathy is one of the most important soft skills.

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It is the ability to put yourself in another person’s shoes and to feel the emotions that they are experiencing. Sympathy is the ability to feel sorry for others and empathy is the ability to feel with them.

Students usually like classes in which their teachers relate, connect and empathize with them. This helps the students to feel good about themselves and leads to helping behavior or to actions for the greater good. The same also applies to employees. In a Businesssolver study, “ State of Workplace Empathy 2018”, 87% of the CEOs saw a direct link between workplace empathy and productivity and retention. Most employees prefer to work for empathetic bosses. The good news is that many studies have demonstrated that empathy is a learned trait and can be developed.

In the book, Empathy: Why It Matters and How to Get It, Roman Krznaric names four common barriers to empathy: Prejudice, authority, distance and denial. The author says to overcome these barriers and to develop more empathy we need to try and humanize others and take time to understand those who are different from us.

I have seen impressive displays of empathy among some of my college students. Recently, I was talking with my students about the importance of showing appreciation to people who they consider to be a significant part of their lives. I said that most of us have no more than a few people (usually among our family and friends) who will be there for us through the thick and thin. And if we are not careful we can take them for granted. Over time some will die and our circle of significant others becomes smaller. Then I mentioned that one of my best friends died “yesterday.”

After class, one of my students who was an eighteen year old freshman, approached me. He told me that he had already lost a few friends to both prison and death. He remarked that he understood what it was like to lose a good friend. Then, with tears in his eyes, he said, “Professor, if you ever need someone to talk with about the death of your friend, I am here for you.” This was an impressive display of empathy, compassion and thoughtfulness by this young man for his much older professor.

Empathy is a trait that can be developed at any age. Feeling understood is how we connect. This is one of many reasons why empathy is such an important soft skill. Roger Ebert put it this way, “I believe empathy is the most essential quality of civilization.”

Raymond Gerson Raymond Gerson is the author of college and career readiness and success books. He is an adjunct professor at Austin Community College and teaches college success courses.

Websites are raymondgerson.com and upbeatpress.com.

References:

The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter: And How to Make the Most of Them Now by Meg Jay is an excellent book for anyone in their late teens to late twenties. The book is also beneficial for parents, teachers, employers and others who engage with this age group. Dr. Jay is a psychologist who has over twenty years experience  working with twenty somethings and hearing about their lives.

Here are a few of her findings:

1. Events that determine what the thirties and beyond will be like are mostly occurring during the twenty something years.

2. 80% of significant events and the most defining moments occur by the mid-thirties.

3. Living in your twenties with a lack of vision, intention and purpose are costly later in life.

4. The brain’s capacity to learn is greater in the twenties than any other time in adulthood.

5. This is the time to build “Identity Capital” which are personal assets and resources that employers want. This is also currency for not only attracting desirable jobs, but also relationships and life partners.

6. About two thirds of lifetime wage growth happens during the first ten years of one’s career.

7. You are defining your life right now.

8. Who you will be in your 30s and later is being built out of the goals you define and pursue now.

There is more to this excellent book than I can cover in a brief summary. As an educator of twenty somethings I gained new insights to share with my students. The book has a conversational style and many young people who read it may see themselves in some of the examples and will gain insights for making the best use of these important and defining years.

By Raymond Gerson

Most students are advised to first discover their passion and then find a job that is a match for that passion. In the book, So Good They Can’t ignore You: Why Skills Trump Passion in the Quest for Work You Love by Cal Newport, he argues against this approach.

According to Newport, trying to figure out your passion in the abstract is a mistake because career passions are rare, take time to develop and passion is often a side-effect of mastery or hard earned expertise. He points out that many people have passions related to sports and hobbies that won’t lead to fulfilling and financially rewarding careers.

This is not to say that there are not exceptions, because some young people do have a pre-existing passion which does translate into a satisfying and financially rewarding career, but Newport believes there is an overemphasis on the importance of finding our passion first. And without highly developed skills, following our passion can lead people into difficulty. For example, he tells the story of a lady who took yoga training and gave up a good corporate job to start her own yoga business. The business went under and the woman ended up broke and on food stamps.

Instead of pursuing a pre-existing passion first, he argues that what is important is to pursue an interest and focus on developing rare and valuable skills. In other words, develop skills that make you so good that employers will want to hire you.

Newport believes that a “Passion Mindset” focuses on what value your job or career offers you. Instead he advocates for a “Craftsman Mindset” where the focus is on what value you can produce through your work.  He argues that the “Craftsman Mindset” will lead to work you love and mastery of skills which is likely to result in passion and sense of purpose or a calling.

So with a “Craftsman Mindset” the focus is on what you can offer to the world and how you can keep getting better at what you do. Instead of thinking about what the world can offer you, your focus is on what you can contribute.

As you build rare and valuable skills you gain what Newport refers to as “Career Capital.”This capital increases the demand for your services and makes employers eager to hire you.

According to Newport if you also discover a mission then your career will be oriented in a compelling direction. Your mission or sense of calling empowers you and the impact of your contribution because you have a self-motivating purpose that you feel really matters. Many people do not become aware of their mission until they develop mastery, love and passion for the work that they have been doing for years. It is then that they realize the difference they are making.

So according to Newport’s research and observations, the following approach is likely to lead to a successful and fulfilling career: Build your career capital by developing rare and valuable skills and identify a compelling mission once you gain expertise in your career field.

By Raymond Gerson

Reference:

During your formal education and in the early years of your career it is very helpful to be an apprentice to a great mentor. This does not necessarily mean a formal apprenticeship as in the trades, but an opportunity to get hands-on experience from an expert in your chosen career field.

While in school take advantage of internship opportunities and once in your career seek out a mentor or even more than one mentor. It should be a mentor who you aspire to be like, that is you want to learn the best of what this expert knows and can do.

Many people are willing to serve as a mentor if you are sincere, passionate about your career and willing to take advice. Choose a mentor who is willing to give you constructive criticism and will show you how to improve. You want tough love, that is someone who can be tough when needed, but who really cares about you and your progress.

According to Robert Greene, author of the book Mastery, most masters or experts passed through an apprenticeship period of 5-10 years while they were developing their skills. It usually takes that long to accumulate 10,000 plus hours of practice. These early years in your career are critical because they can lay the foundation for a lifetime of success or failure. The wrong mentor can do harm and the right mentor can do a lot of good for you.

Look for a career opportunity that will offer you the greatest possibility for learning and practical knowledge which you can apply. According to Greene, the goal of an apprenticeship isn’t money, job title or status. You want to challenge yourself and not choose the easier or more prestigious path. Greene believes, and I agree, that between two career choices you are wiser to choose less money at first if it will result in the best learning experience. If you learn a lot and become an expert in your field, then there will be many years in which you are likely to do very well financially. During this intense learning period or apprenticeship you will be observing your mentor, modeling their skills and then practicing these skills over and over again. This will lead you to mastery and expertise. One day you will probably be better than your mentor and will use and continue to build your skills in your own unique way.

By Raymond Gerson

Reference:

You will soon graduate and begin your professional career.  Naturally, you want to experience career success and fulfillment.  What follows are ten steps which will help you get your career off to a great start.  These strategies and principles will also help you to be successful throughout your career and to make a significant contribution.

1.Know your talents and skills.

You will be most effective in a career which uses your best and most enjoyable abilities.  How can you discover your talents and skills?  Look for them in your favorite achievements, no matter how small the accomplishments.

You can also find clues to your talents by analyzing things you love to do, love to learn, and even love to talk about.  Consider favorite aspects of past jobs, internships, and volunteer work.  If you enjoyed an aspect of a job, it is likely that you were using your favorite talents and skills.  

Look at activities you love so much that time quickly slips away.  Some of your talents were probably involved in those activities.  Is there anything you’ve done in school, leisure, or work that seemed almost effortless?  You will probably discover that some of your best talents played a part in those activities.

Your talents, combined with a genuine regard for yourself and others, is a potentially powerful resource for making a great contribution.

2.Seek a job you feel passionate about.

How can you make a great contribution if you feel lukewarm or indifferent about your job or work purpose?  It would be very difficult if not impossible to do so.

Where can you discover your passion?  Ask yourself the following questions.  What problems do you see in the world that you want to solve, resolve, or positively impact?  What societal needs do you want to fill?  What dreams or hopes of others would you like to make come true?

Choose a mission or work purpose that moves you.  When you use your best talents for a purpose that fulfills you, how can you fail?  You will be able to make a significant and positive difference.

3.Determine the types of jobs and companies that address the problems and needs you’ve identified.

Use public, school, and career libraries to research and identify employers and opportunities.

Conduct information interviews with people—including hiring managers—in fields of work that interest you.  Join professional associations that allow you to meet and network with people in your career field.  Contact employers for their brochures and company information.

4.Find a mentor who will provide guidance and motivation.

Seek mentors in your field of work and outside of your profession.  Yes, you can have several different mentors.  Choose mentors who are inspiring examples of the kind of person you aspire to be.  Simply ask them to be your mentors.  Most will flattered and eager to help you.

Where to find mentors?  Look at your place of business, professional associations, church, and among family and friends.  Ask others for recommendations.  Napoleon Hill, author of Think and Grow Rich, spoke of the advantages of forming a “mastermind alliance.”  This is a group of people with varied skills who can help you achieve your goals.  You can form a brain trust of people who support you and your dreams.

5.Study, read, and learn everything you can about your job and career field.

Take advantage of company training programs and local continuing education classes.  If you read one book a week in your field of work, that will be over fifty books in a year.  This will set you apart from your competition and you will be on your way to becoming an expert in your field.  You can also listen to books on tape when you’re too busy to read.

6.Commit yourself to do doing a great job.

Be willing to go the extra mile.  Work hard and show your employer that you are dedicated to your job.  Be a dependable employee who can be counted on.

Become known as a person of high character and integrity.  A good reputation takes time to build, but can be destroyed overnight.  Establish an excellent reputation both as person and professional.  It will follow you wherever you go and will bring much success and happiness.

7.Take excellent care of your physical and mental health.

Maintain your vitality by eating healthy foods, exercising, and getting proper rest.  Balance your life with healthy and enjoyable recreational activities, time with family and friends, and a spiritual life that provides inner strength.

8.Avoid drugs and go easy on alcohol.

You need a clear mind with an ability to focus your attention on the task at hand, to be successful.  No one can achieve greatness in sports, business, or any endeavor without the ability to concentrate.  Drugs and alcohol scatter and weaken the mind.  A clear mind produces clarity of thought which results in positive actions.  Positive actions will bring you success.

There are many visualization, meditation, and biofeedback techniques that can increase your power of concentration.

9.Stay positive, motivated, and inspired.

You may encounter prejudice from certain people and many other obstacles in the workplace.  Avoid negative people and events which drag you down, as much as you can.  It is important to learn to get along with others who have different values and who see life differently than you do.  There is great diversity in today’s workplace which demands adaptability and the ability to work as a team member.

Read inspiring biographies of others who overcame obstacles to success.  Listen to tapes that motivate and uplift you.

10.Build a portfolio of your accomplishments.

Before leaving any job or position, request a letter of recommendation from your supervisors.  Keep all of your letters and performance evaluations.  These letters and evaluations should become part of a portfolio that you are building.  Include articles by and about you and any example of performance excellence.  Take your portfolio to job interviews and present it when you are being considered for promotions.

You are moving closer to your graduation date.  You and your family made sacrifices and worked hard to get you to this level of achievement.  You will soon start your professional career.  A new beginning awaits you.  If you apply the ten steps in this article, you will increase the odds of having a fulfilling career and life.

Best wishes for making your dreams come true.

VA hospitals neglecting our veterans, a poorly rated public education system, unaffordable health care, and corporate corruption running amok have all been in the news. What’s going on here? What do all of these have in common? “Inadequate leadership” is the answer. Steven Covey, in his book, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, mentioned the discovery of an interesting phenomenon when he reviewed success literature written during the last 200 years. The success literature of the past 50 years emphasized the importance of personality and skill development. The literature of over 50 years ago by writers such as Emerson, Thoreau, and others, emphasized character and inner development. What happens if we do not build a strong foundation through inner development? We have witnessed charismatic politicians, ministers, athletes, and others with tremendous communication and interpersonal skills who ended up in disgrace and/or prison. What was missing? The foundation. It was either missing or unstable. Character is the foundation upon which we must build skills, techniques, and strategies for effectiveness which can withstand the test of time and temptation. Without strong character the likelihood is that our skills will be misused and improperly channeled, which may be damaging to us and others.         Competent leaders with character and integrity who lead by example are needed. We need principled leaders who genuinely care about the welfare of others.Where is the great leaders like Abraham Lincoln, Winston Churchill, and Mahatma Gandhi? We need leaders of this caliber. The good news is that we can develop successful leaders. We can achieve this by examining great leaders and systems that are producing results. Then we can create and use models of what is working. This is an effective way to address the problem.         Schools are one place where we can start developing future leaders. Our schools need to teach character education and create a climate where kids strive for excellence and learn to care about others.     True leaders are torch bearers who nurture the seeds of greatness in their followers. Helping others to unfold their potential is education and leadership at its best. Developing more of these types of leaders is a solution to the leadership crisis.   

Have you tried everything you can think of to find your ideal partner and yet nothing worked? Perhaps you’ve tried dating services, dance classes, joining organizations, relationship seminars, looking in the work place and having friends introduce you to others. Ever wonder why these efforts often fail to bring the right partner into your life? Have you ever asked yourself why some people find true love and not you? I know how you feel. I tried everything too and searched for over 40 years without success. This may seem surprising to you because I have a Master’s Degree in Psychology, studied relationships, used law of attraction strategies and have been a teacher and coach in the field of personal development for over 40 years. And yet my goal to find the right partner eluded me until I was 63 years old in spite of my skills, knowledge, and best efforts. It was only when I discovered some little known strategies and removed the number one obstacle to finding a soul mate that the love of my life showed up.

Thousands Who Want an Ideal Partner Have this Obstacle- but Never Discover it.

What is the primary obstacle that prevents so many people from finding and keeping a significant love relationship? The answer is a self-image which contains one or more limiting beliefs. In most cases these are subconscious beliefs which are difficult to detect. These beliefs create inner resistance to the very dream or dreams that you are longing to fulfill. Even if ninety nine percent of you is saying “yes” to your dream of finding true love and one percent at a subconscious level is saying “no,” this can be enough to keep you from attracting your significant other. Even if you use law of attraction strategies, such as imagining your loved one is already in your life and feeling grateful, this will not be enough if you have unconscious resistance.

Where do Limiting Beliefs Come From?

Many of our limiting beliefs were formed in childhood because we arrived at false conclusions about ourselves. For example, some children might decide that “I am not worthy of being loved” or “I am not good enough” because they did not measure up to their parent’s expectations and standards. These beliefs are often forgotten but operate at a subconscious level. If your limiting beliefs are conscious, you can easily examine them and see if they are true or false. The difficulty arises when these are subconscious beliefs because they are not easy to detect and they have a powerful influence on our lives.

Examples of Some Limiting Beliefs

There are many different limiting beliefs which can create an unhealthy self-image. Here are a few examples:

I don’t matter

I am a failure

I am not enough or good enough

I am not worthy of love

People don’t like me

People will hurt you

You can’t trust the opposite sex

I don’t need love or others

I am undeserving of good things

There are many other limiting beliefs which can operate at a subconscious level. Any one of them can develop a self-image that is capable of keeping many dreams from coming true. This is why I have been teaching others how to overcome these self-imposed, but often subconscious beliefs. They define and set the limits on our degree of success and fulfillment in life. I don’t know if you have subconscious beliefs which are keeping you from finding your true love. This was true in my case. Deep down inside you probably know the answer because solutions to our dilemmas are within us. The purpose of this article was not to discuss the variety of strategies for uncovering subconscious limiting beliefs. My purpose was to identify the primary barrier to finding a great love relationship based on my personal and professional experience and to put this before you for your consideration. Now you can look within yourself and decide whether inner resistance could be preventing you from attracting your true love.

The power to make a positive difference comes primarily from within. It has more to do with who we are than what we say. This is why Mahatma Gandhi said, “My life is my teaching” and “Be the change you want to see in the world”. Our example speaks louder than words, but our words are also a reflection of who we are as a person.

Gandhi is a great example of someone who transformed himself and the lives of many others when he shifted from self-consciousness to other-consciousness.  From childhood to early adulthood, Gandhi felt awkward and self-conscious. He was shy and had many fears. Only when he became captivated by a passionate mission- a sense of purpose larger than himself-was he able to transcend his fears.

Gandhi’s compassion for the Indian people and his desire to free India from British rule became a burning desire that transformed Gandhi into a man of great courage, love, and inner strength. His life’s purpose took him beyond his petty self-concerns and self-imposed limitations. He became a great leader who inspired a nation to fulfill his mission.

Success and happiness that eludes us when we seek them directly will frequently come when our focus is on contributing to others. We need to get out of our own way and allow the power within to be expressed.

How to Find a Great Purpose

Many of us want to make a positive contribution. We want to know that our having lived on this earth made a positive difference in the lives of others. Your positive actions can inspire others to glimpse their own potential and to become what they are capable of becoming. This brings joy, meaning, and fulfillment to your life.

You may be wondering, “Okay, fine, but how am I supposed to find a great purpose that transcends my fears and self-concerns”? First, take a look at the multitude of problems and needs in the world. Which ones do you feel passionate about? Are there problems in the world that make you angry or sad? What inspires you to act? What impact do you want to have on the world? How could you use your talents to contribute to humanity? Answering questions like these can help you to discover how you want to be of service.

Your Enormous Potential

Many Psychologists have said that most people use only a small percentage of their brain power and creativity. Enormous resources are within each of us, but they often remain dormant until we find a purpose that transcends our self. We move then from self-centeredness to focusing on our unique way of helping others.             Like Gandhi, we can also rise above our weaknesses and liberate our dormant potential when we decide how we want to be of service. This is the secret for awakening the greatness within you.

Dear discouraged student,

You said that “the school system hung the label of at-risk student on me and made me feel like I am dumb and a failure.” What others say about you is not as important as how you feel about yourself. Don’t let others define you. Find your own limits and discover from experience what you are capable of accomplishing. Discover your own abilities. There are many different types of intelligence. Everyone has their own special talents and types of intelligence. For example, some have a gift for music, teaching, counseling, writing, sports, comedy, etc. These require different types of intelligence. Also, our intelligence is not fixed at birth. We can continue to increase our intelligence throughout our lives in spite of obstacles. Read the biographies of great men and women and you will see that many of them were once labeled by others as unintelligent or mediocre. Winston Churchill failed the sixth grade and he had teachers who thought that he was not smart. Helen Keller was born deaf and blind. She was unable to speak until she was taught to do so by Anne Sullivan. Most people had no faith in her ability to accomplish anything of significance. As an adult, Helen Keller gave inspirational talks to audiences all over the world. It is not the hand that we are dealt that determines whether we win the game but it is how we play the game that counts. Helen Keller was born with a difficult hand but came out a winner. Some people are born with a good hand and lose the game by wasting their lives. There are many other examples of intelligent people who were considered “dumb” by others. Albert Einstein and Thomas Edison’s parents were told when their children were in elementary school that they were “dumb.” Abraham Lincoln was demoted from being an officer in the military to the rank of private because he was considered incompetent. Even though some people considered Churchill, Keller, Einstein, Edison, and Lincoln to be unintelligent, they proved to be intelligent and made significant contributions to others. It is difficult to predict what others will accomplish in their lives. Who can predict what you are capable of achieving if you work hard in school and are determined to succeed? Success in school depends more on skill and will than it does on brilliance. Good study skills, combined with the motivation to succeed, can take you a long way in school and life. Will or motivation must come primarily from within you. Study skills can be developed and courses are usually offered at community colleges and universities. Many of these courses contain success strategies which can be used to achieve your goals not only in school, but in your life, and they are also available to high school students through college early start programs. I could have used courses such as these when I was in school to build self-confidence and to learn how to study. In middle school and during my early years of high school I experienced self-doubts, insecurity, and a lack of self-confidence. Like you, I also felt discouraged. When I compared myself to others they seemed smarter, more popular, and superior in many ways. I had no goals and I did not understand how my classes were relevant to my life and future. Needless to say, my grades were poor to average. IQ tests indicated that I was of average intelligence and this is how I perceived myself. My parents were concerned about my poor performance in school and they spoke to a high school counselor about me. He told them not to encourage me to go to college. He said that I was not capable of succeeding in college and that I would probably perform at a mediocre level at anything I did throughout my life. Fortunately, my parents did not tell me this story at that time which I probably would have used as an excuse to quit school. I did not find out what this counselor said about me until I graduated with a master’s degree and an A average. I thought about quitting school many times when I was a teenager. I am so thankful that I continued my education in spite of obstacles and periods of discouragement. Over time and through my life experience, I discovered that I had talents and I began to develop my strengths. I discovered that I was capable of making a positive contribution to others through inspirational writing, public speaking, coaching, counseling, and teaching. I love my work and it gives me fulfillment and a deep sense of purpose. Don’t give up on yourself. You were born for a purpose. Search within yourself and discover your own special abilities and how you want to use them to make a positive difference.

I think this is one of the greatest times to be an educator and to have the opportunity to positively touch the lives of our younger generation.

So many of our younger generation feel a sense of calling to make a positive difference in the world. Most of the students in my classes feel passionate about finding a career that allows them to use their talents to help others and to create a better society and world.

As I watch the survivors of the mass shooting in Parkland, Florida who have started the movement, “Never Again,” it reminds me of the younger generation in the 60s. The Civil Rights Movement and the Viet Nam war protests were responsible for major societal and cultural changes.

The young survivors of the shooting in Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School have started a movement that is influencing high school students throughout the nation to use their voices and to step up. They are channeling their grief and pain into a positive force for change. This generation of students are articulate, adept at social media, comfortable in front of cameras and seem unafraid to let those in congress or anyone else know that they want gun control regulations. They want to feel safe and they want a more caring and less violent society. It will take sustained grass roots pressure over time for them to succeed.

As educators we are teaching this generation of future leaders who want to make a positive contribution to others and society. It is a privilege to work with them and to have the opportunity to touch their lives in positive ways.

There are at least two major threats to the planet and our existence. One is nuclear war and the other is climate change. Government and corporate leaders and policies that value money and power over people will lead to greater destruction of the planet and all species. Putting people before money and power, will in most cases, not be initiated from the top down. Multitudes of people from the bottom up must demand a world with more loving kindness and humane values. They can express their voices when voting and in other non-violent ways.

We must shift from a tribal consciousness (only my tribe, race, political party, sexual orientation, gender, social status and religious beliefs matter) to embracing diversity. We must come to see that everyone is worth being treated with respect, dignity and  kindness. And we must shift from a focus only on separation and perceive unity. Every part is related and connected to the whole. Damage to any part effects all of us.

It might take a positive change in the consciousness of multitudes to avert the dangers of nuclear war or climate change, but each individual can make some difference. It is like the rock thrown in a pond that sends ripples throughout the water. The people who you touch in a positive way will affect others and they will influence others who will continue to affect others. In this way you multiply yourself and a long chain of your influence is formed.

Nicholas Winton is an example of the ripple effect and how one person can help many. He organized the rescue of 669 Czech and Slovak children before Hitler’s troops invaded Czechoslovakia. There is a beautiful movie called “Nicky’s Family” that tells his story. Nicholas Winton’s family grew to over 6,000 descendants of these children before he died at 106 years old. Thousands of people would not have been born and made their contributions to the world if it had not been for his actions. It is an excellent example of the ripple effect and what one person can accomplish.

If enough people show loving kindness and say no to inhumane values we can build a better world and may be able to save ourselves and the planet from destruction.

I leave you with a song that I wrote about building a better world through loving kindness. It is called, “Can We All Come Together.” Here is the link:

Can We All Come Together?

Best regards,