Insomniatic Dinosaur

every year after you turn 17 you get further away from being the age of the dancing queen and that’s my least favorite thing about growing up

I might not be the coolest, smartest or prettiest but for sure I’m the sleepiest.

Ight but you can openly drink and there are kiosks full of alcohol at Universal So Take ya pick

have fun dehydrating at the amusement park, you stupid shit

Wow. The company that has had parks open for over 60 years on four different countries has had more recorded accidents than the company with three parks that have been open since the 90s.

amusement part discourse 

id like to state for the record i didnt remember hop (2011) at all before this post

Didn’t that dragon catch fire?

You don’t get to see that at universal

This was literally the funniest one. Even He couldn’t help but laugh.

let’s go on a date and by date I mean lay in bed and make out for 3 hours

I married the girl I wrote this about and if that isn’t hope for you almost 1 milllion thirsty motherfuckers idk what is

there’s nothing purer or better than how much kids enjoy being picked up and then hurled at soft surfaces

anyone who’s ever been around kids for ay meaningful amount of time should know exactly how much kids long to be hefted up and then just fuckin tossed! it’s so good! they’re so excited to get fucking tossed around like a sack of potatoes it’s so pure

Every one: You have to make time for yourself! me: *stays up until 1 am every night crying* Me time 😍💆

I feel attacked

someone please post the gif

a couple of people have expressed concern about tubby breaking her dishes, so i just want to note that sometimes when the cups are misaligned in their tray they wobble a little and make a tiny clinking sound. when this happens instead of eating directly out of her dish, tubby will use her paw to bring the food to her mouth in order to prevent any unseemly noises.

Your cat is a very prim cat.

not to be dramatic but I’d die for tubby