the Lord is my blorbo; I shall not goon

hello! i'm ellem with a little "e." not a typing quirk, that's just my name. it/its, mid-20s, feral, shameless, Pinoy (FilAm), snatched, based, plural, trans. i'm that guy who writes your nasty fanfics. masc or neutral terms for me + my system at large.

fic requests are currently closed - check back later :)

in the meantime, rant at me in my askbox, tell me about ur day, just sit the hell down kid . you’re making me nervous standing there all suave and awkward.

links if ya need em:

find mae at: AO3 | bsky (inactive) | discord is @ ratsplendor | email

more awesome stuff: your music recs + mine on one big playlist | 1000 random songs (explanation) | my fic recs

system mates: @haysfever @rabidtender @oneneneno

we're hostless, so please don't treat any one of us as the "primary" or "main."

sometimes ae use i/me/myself (this means i'm likely referring to just me, ellem), sometimes we/us/ours, sometimes ae/mae/aer. this blog is mostly run by me but Hays and i blend a lot so YMMV :)

explore my blog, you won't regret it:

fandom yapping | WIPs | silly stuff | my stupid baka life | religion talk | polls | general fandom stuff | unfilled prompts | filled prompts | just me yapping | music | my fics | gender | fic recs | other people's amazing art | system stuff

i tag pretty consistently! if you need something tagged, LMK.

I want to start a series where I post any favorite fics I read each week (or every other week we'll see lol). and music and poetry and whatever the hell else I want.

please check tags on your own, I will put any major warnings too :)

yummy fics

Pay For It by @illusoryratley (billford, E) - what a great time!! bill is so scary in this one...and there is something so hilarious to me about the idea of him making drunken horny drop-ins on his poor pet earthling. enforcing a vow of chastity and then fucking forgetting it lmfao this is the "kitten, Daddy's plastered as fuck right now" I so desire.

little death like lead, poisonous and heavy (fiddlestan, E, dubcon) by gothhiggsmonaghan - hey. HEY. what is it with fiddlestan being so gut wrenchingly ouchie. I fucking love it. sad "I miss your twin brother" sex. and it's not even good sex. written so good and so awful.

such good works in this fandom + so much love to go around :)

albums

YOU SHOULD DO IT!!! always write the thing ! (not meant to be pressuring in any way lol) but yes I see the vision!!! while it is usually not the ship I go for I love to see fanart for it + think there is potential to write a lot of hot shit, ugh I needdd to get back to writing House stuff...it's been too long....

oh god dude ae feel this so hard lol. back when I lived in fucking Texas I just had this silent acceptance I would never transition, would just live my life with a quiet misery in the background of everything and try my best to be happy.

I am so incredibly fortunate to finally have access to the resources I need, but can't stress enough that it was mostly due to luck and taking some massive risks in terms of life decisions. it is fucking abhorrent that it is so hard and so unattainable that only good luck and not losing your entire savings can make it possible - hell, even socially I'm still liable to lose a lot of people. I'm about to go home for a family vacation and it will be the first time back since I've been socially out, and ae am anticipating a bad time.

all of this to say. it should not take luck and working overtime and fighting your life constantly and the threat of losing your entire social support to make transition attainable. ae don't want to be one of those people who says "it gets better :) hang in there :) in five years you will look back on this and blah blah blah" bc it's privileged af and you have absolutely heard it before. to get here, I had to make a choice between financial health and being myself. I had to choose between everyone I've ever known, and being myself. not everyone can or wants to make that choice.