Rape Victim Support

Readiness for sex with someone isn’t a one-time thing, something where once we’re ready once, we’re ever-ready. Readiness for sex with someone is situational, and something we establish every single time we do or might engage in sex with another person, and where we won’t always have the same feelings or answer. It’s also not just based on us: it’s also about the other person, who they are, how we feel about them and with them, what we do or don’t want with them at a given time, a whole big and unique picture, every single time we might engage in any kind of sex. Think about it like this: we’re born ready to eat, right? Of course, we’re not ready for solid foods until a given time, because we need teeth for that. But even once we are, that still doesn’t mean that we all want or like the same kinds of foods, that the same kinds of foods all sit the same with all of us, nor that we’re all always hungry just because we’re “ready” to eat. Sex with someone — and even just with ourselves, alone — is a lot like that. The process of puberty (which often lasts into the 20s), makes our bodies “ready” for sex in the most rudimentary ways. But just like having teeth to eat solid foods doesn’t mean we’re always hungry, or always want a given food at a given time, having gone through puberty doesn’t make us always ready for sex.