ain't that a kick in the head?

the things they say about grief are real. i had to go to the store and talk to a cashier who couldn't see it emanating off of me. i look normal and i can speak normally but i feel like i'm at the bottom of the ocean. hello??????????? i went to a bridal shower today and talked to a lot of strangers and got a sunburn but i don't even know how the sun can reach me down here???????????

"overworking is killing you" okay well can it at least go faster

thought maybe i could get through losing my cat without killing myself but then i came back to work and my fucking coworker didn't even wait two hours before throwing me under the bus and telling me to drive to someone's house to get signatures from them. the leo frigo memorial bridge in green bay wisconsin is looking real jumpable right now

huge life hack i invented recently is to not vacuum your house in the same order every time! usually i vacuum from the living room back to the bedrooms, and by the time i get to the bedrooms i'm sick of vacuuming so i half ass it, but today i started in my bedroom and i was even able to move my nightstand and vacuum under it

who needs weighted stuffed animals when you have a snuggly chunky cat. i mean a weighted stuffed animal doesn't even have a wet nose to stick in your ear a hundred times a day. what's the point

[wolf-whistling out my car window at an abandoned house on the side of the highway] baby girl i've never seen anything as beautiful as you, i wanna be inside you

i want to look at anniversary cards [has been married for like 7 weeks]

living alone in a different city than all of your family and friends is all fun and games until you get a flat tire on the freeway, at 11:30pm, less than 10 minutes away from home, and by the time you've gotten your car towed to the parking lot of a tire shop ($119) and ubered home ($18) it's been 2 hours. you were 10 minutes away. and you had to ask the tow truck driver to let you run into a gas station to piss because, again, you should have been home so much earlier. so you have no dignity left either. and tomorrow you have to go buy a new tire which is like $300 probably. if you had a friend or family member who could have picked you up at least you wouldn't have had to ask a stranger to let you take a piss break and you wouldn't have to uber back to the west side in the morning (probably $18 ish). just really unforchies