honestly the thing that bothered me the most about the whole 'glow up' narrative for Colin that tabloids and media and even some of the production tried to push is that it was wholly and entirely incorrect
We did not watch Colin 'glow up'. We watched Colin grow up. And people forget that we met him at 19 turning 20. People forget that in season 3, he is only 22. They will compare him to previous leads or to his book counterpart, and make judgements on his narrative or characterization but forget Colin is a whole decade younger. he dressed differently for the sake of a glow up, but to represent that his story is about a boy becoming a man
Of course Colin's characterization doesn't feel wholly consistent and s3 was jarring for people to watch how different he was acting. He's going through growing pains. He was treated as a child for season 1 and season 2, called a boy to his face repeatedly, dismissed, laughed at, teased, poked, and disregarded. We watched, in real time, how every time he tried to do something to be seen as an adult and part of the community, part of the grown ups of his family, he was waved away.
Colin tries to get married like men of his world do, and he's scoffed off as being stupid, and then feels stupid because it was a sham of an engagement anyway. Colin goes traveling like men of his world do, men of distinction, and no one wants to hear about it. Even coming back with scruff, and his family laughs at him about it. Colin comes back from his travels a second time and now he's aloof, and he's sexually experienced, and he's dressing differently and keeping people at arms' length. And he's lonely. But he's always been lonely, really. Colin's not part of the ABC club because there is no ABC club. There's an AB duo, and Colin tacked on sometimes. Colin's not part of the Polineloise trio, because there is no Polineloise trio- there is Penelope and Eloise, and Colin is tacked on sometimes. Colin's not part of the sister club, Fran and Daphne and Eloise. He's not at the kiddie table with Greg and Hyacinth. His mum barely pays any attention to him in S1 or S2, even if he's her sweet, agreeable son.
We watched him go through the primordial ooze I'm an adult but no one takes me seriously and Who am I, really? What does it even mean to be an adult? We watched him prioritize other people's wants and desires in every way, even up to what he looked like and how he behaved, because who did he have to turn to for advice?
The problem is we only ever saw Colin through Penelope's eyes. That colored our perspective of him. She thought he was golden and beloved and the truth is that he wasn't. Fife wasn't his friend. Anthony wasn't his friend. Colin's letters went unanswered. Colin's stories went unheard. Colin was not being swooned at by every woman around him in S1 or S2. Colin was a sweet boy, attractive, with a popular family, but Colin himself wasn't the people's prince of Mayfair. Penelope saw him as an unattainable shining star because she was biased. He wasn't seen as a man in his society until S3 when he started dressing and behaving differently, and it came at the expense of masking his actual personality.
That's why so many of his traits feel buried. Because they are. He buried them. That's why it made us uncomfortable to see him at the start of S3- he is literally pretending to be someone else. It's uncanny valley feeling because it's meant to be uncanny. He is Colin as we knew him, but also not. He's trying to be Anthony. He's trying to be Fife. He's trying to be a man accepted in their world because he hasn't been. And the only person he found real acceptance with was Penelope, which is why finding out she wrote that article about him was so painful. Because yes, she's right, but it was cruel nonetheless. He didn't know himself, and he was pretending, but he wanted her to call him in, not call him out. She used Whistledown as a weapon against him and stuck it between his ribs, and she wanted to hurt him with it, and it did. That's why she regrets it so immediately. And that's why she denounces it just as fast in Part 1.
Colin spends all of S3 going through the lesson he already believes in- living for the approval of others is a trap. But it also takes bravery and support to live the truth of yourself, and he hasn't gotten much of it. Who does he really get approval from? Not from Anthony. Not from Benedict, who he doesn't divulge his troubles to. Not from his mum, not really. Not from Fife and co. And then, at the start of S3, not from Penelope, either.
Colin was cut loose from his circle, and he drifted away from himself, and then came back to himself largely on his own. He had a few people who criticized him with love- Eloise, Violet, Penelope- but he overcame his fear of being rejected from male society on his own. He decided, for himself, that maybe he didn't want to be a part of their world. He changed and they accepted him, but he's grown beyond wanting to be part of their club. And that is so incredibly mature, especially for a 22 year old man. He does this again, too, with Whistledown. He and Penelope don't really talk about it. He overcomes his hurt on his own- he reads her letters, and he reminds himself of how much she means to him, and he decides that the kind of man he is and wants to be is one who accepts her for all she is and lives life with her. That's him stepping beyond growing up and firmly into being grown up. Because we have many grown folks out there now, in our big ages and with therapy and good examples and self help books, that would not have been able to handle it with even half as much grace.
Idk, I just think the way we talk about it matters. Because glow up implies that he already was formed and then changed the exterior- like he was painted on with glitter to gleam in the sun. But grow up implies that he is in the process of forming, and that includes his exterior. The physical changes Colin went through was not a glow up, it was to represent a deeper change within him, and flattening him to surface level 'omg he's hot now all of a sudden' is just a disregarding of his entire story.
