BACK FROM THE DEAD

My Mom: no, I’m ugly. The ugliest. I’m a horrible pig of a person

Other people: (to me) you look just like your mom

Me: so I’m ugly

Now:

My 9 year old: mom you’re beautiful

Me: thank you! I don’t always see it very well in myself though because my brain lies to me a lot and tells me I’m ugly even though I’m not. But I can’t be ugly because we look a lot alike and you’re beautiful. My brain is just a bully 

My kid: that’s right! We’re BOTH beautiful!

​Me:​ yes we are!​​​

_____

And that my friends is called thinking about how your self depricating words can hurt other people around you. I can’t see that I’m beautiful most of the time but I can acknowledge that the issue is my ability to see myself in a positive way. 

But calling myself ugly just hurts the people who love me. It could even convince my kid that they are also ugly and further the cycle 

Me, internally: ouch

Me, out loud: “well, yeah! Because I am chubby! But also because I grew TWO WHOLE BABIES in it, and that stretched it out a bit!”

My daughter, in the most encouraging tone possible as she reaches up and pets my belly: “it did SUCH a good job.”

My guess is that the zoo staff did use some positive reinforcement training to teach her how to pick up and pull on the rope at first, because that’s not necessary something a lion would just do on their own. While it’s also probable that she’s rewarded with something tasty did choosing to engage with the members of the public like this, Axelle wouldn’t be engaging if it was a negative experience for her (there aren’t enough snacks in the world to coerce a lion into doing something they find actively distressing). If she didn’t want to participate, she could just walk away.

For people who still don’t see anything wrong with cultural appropriation, who still call cornrows “boxer braids”, “Kim K braids” or whatever - our cornrows symbolize liberation and freedom, it’s not your trendy hairstyle, it actually does have a history.

Since slaves were never taught to write and drawing directions was dangerous, because they could lead to them being discovered, captured, sold again or even killed by their master.

To reduce the risk of being discovered, women started weaving the maps in their hair, carving out paths with their cornrows. Some of the patterns even had hidden messages!

Yes, braiding existed in Africa way before, but it got a whole new meaning when Europeans enslaved millions of people. So next time you decide to go for a “Kim K look”, do a little research before you end up disrespecting someone’s culture and just, in all honesty, looking silly.