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It's two weeks to Valentine's Day and the last time I posted here was many moons ago so I figure it's a good time to talk about one of my favorite topics: romance. Now, after reading several Emily Giffin books (see below post on chick lit), I consider myself to be a bit of a scholar in this department. So, without further ado, here are a few suggestions I have on the best ways to woo your partner. Guys, you're welcome.

1. Blooms

Some things don't go out of style and in my opinion, amazing flowers are one of them. If you live in San Francisco and are looking for a stellar bouquet, Church Street Flowers at Market and Church, does a gorgeous job. If you want to save money on delivery, consider hiring a TaskRabbit to do it. My friend Will told me he sometimes does this and I thought it was super smart as delivery can add a pretty penny. 

Another option in the Bay Area is Farm Girl Flowers, which ships locally sourced flowers (yay! no carbon footprint!) to your door and starts at $30 an arrangement. And if you live outside of California, you may want to check out the Bouqs Company, which also sends awesome bouquets at a flat rate. I bought my mom a subscription to Bouqs and it was amazing to see her excitement month after month.

2. The Dirty Weekend

If you have a bit more time and money on your hands, you can't put a price on what my friend Katie's mom calls, "the dirty weekend." My favorite romantic spot to get away in the Bay Area is Manka's Inverness Lodge, an old hunting and fishing cabin, which combines flannel blankets and fireplaces with Frette sheets and Keihl's bath products. Best of all, in the morning they deliver a delicious "foraged" (hey, this is Northern California) breakfast and the New York Times to your door. I have dreams about that sticky bun. You can always work off said bun by hiking through the majestic scenery of Point Reyes National Seashore.

3. The Grand Gesture

If you're short on cash but high on creativity, this is your go-to. The grand gesture should be used sparingly but when timed correctly, it can be wonderful. Take, for example, the closing scene of Never Been Kissed where Drew Barrymore reads that terrible letter at the baseball stadium then drops the mic (note: Drew Barrymore dropped the mic before anyone else) only to have Michael Vartan come bounding down the steps moments later. Or when that guy that nobody likes in Love Actually brings the boombox to Keira Knightley's house with those odd signs. Or, speaking of boomboxes, the ultimate pop culture grand gesture -- John Cusack lifting the sounds of Peter Gabriel above his head.

I have held myself back from posting about my impending wedding for fear of becoming "that girl" -- you know her and you don't love her. Anyhow, I could never compare with the likes of Style Me Pretty and Snippet & Ink (note: if you are planning a wedding, try those sites. They are like spoonfuls of crack for the newly-engaged)

But I've decided that with two months to go, I'm going to allow myself just one little wedding post...and it's not really about weddings. It's about stationery.

I have always been a stationery freak -- I signed up for a pen pal in third grade mostly because I wanted an excuse to buy Hello Kitty cards and 24 cent stamps (my unknowing pal from Ireland sent me mini-novellas about her love of Matt LeBlanc. I skimmed her missives and framed her hedgehog letterhead). But i digress. Let's talk about present day.

A wedding is the only opportunity you really have these days to obsess over snail mail (you may say, "I sent my aunt a letter just the other day" and to that I say, "you are lying" or "you are Michael J. Fox from Back to the Future II and you have been sent here from the past to do weird things like send letters").

My future mother-in-law designed our wedding invitation, (she's an artist) which you can see below.

We were worried that the watercolor wouldn't print correctly but after some trial and error, the printer made it work (note: don't use watercolor paper. The ink will bleed and the color won't come out). Our wedding will be a hybrid of Indian and American cultures so we used mangoes and jute twine (to tie the pieces together) to bring Indian flavor. The stamps and peonies are a bit more American. I must say I'm biased but I think they're pretty gorgeous.

I've also begun to understand why people collect stamps. I'm no philatelist (I never thought I'd get to use that word in a real sentence) but I have developed an unhealthy love for vintage stamps. It was incredibly fun to choose which stamps should go on which person's envelope -- personalizing took forever but was a blast. On others, I tried for a balance of pretty (Georgia O'Keefe's bold orange flower, a random Alabama stamp with a bird and a flower, a 1970s-era LOVE print, etc) with politically/socially motivated fare (RFK, MLK and FDR abound on my envelopes + none-too-subtle stamps about labor, public education, public transit and national parks conservation.)

Finding said stamps was a fun and interesting challenge. There aren't really any great coin and stamp stores in San Francisco so I turned to two sources which I found after trolling stationery blogs. First is Errol Murphy, who is a wonderful man based out of California. He sells great stamps at face value and is happy to work with you to find stamps you'll love. I'm not actually sure how Murph makes money but I'm glad he does what he does. The second place I used (mostly for low-denomination stamps to round out the collection) was Champion Stamp in Manhattan. They have binders and binders full of face-value stamps...I purchased hundreds and my grand total was $9.

Jamie and I are planning a trip to Europe after the election. The current plan is to go for about 10 days and hit Paris, London and Scotland.

My only memory of Paris is being three years old and having a mint green ski cap forced onto my head.

Note: this child is not me. She is, however, sporting an expression I recognize (namely one that says, "why the hell did you put this ski mask on me? I'm not an armed robber"). Also, similar cheek proportions.

Hopefully we can do a bit better this time. Currently, my plans include:

See Eiffel Tower

Eat at least one croissant per day in Paris

Prove Nessy is real

Chase sheep through very green fields

Dance down Brick Lane as Bollywood music plays

Drink high tea with crooked pinky.

Not think about the U.S. election

Not wear a ski mask

Anthony Bourdain is just one of those people I was destined to love - much like Josh Lyman, Bo Obama, Joy Behar and pretty much anyone with the last name Stein, Fisher or Greenberg.

The way to my heart (and probably any other woman's heart) during the holidays is with Mariah Carey's, "All I Want for Christmas" (that and Love Actually, which actually contains a rousing rendition of 'All I Want for Christmas,' making this point relatively moot).

This holiday season, however, I wonder if perhaps my favorite holiday ditty has been a bit too over-exposed.

Exhibit A: Justin Bieber (NOTE: this is the best exhibit).

This year, Biebs and Mariah have teamed up on a re-release of "All I Want for Christmas" and well, I just don't like it. The reasons on my list (and yea, I've checked them twice):

Sony released Mariah's original single in 1994. Yep, that's the year Baby Biebs was born.

Rampant commercialism throughout the video -- the whole thing is shot in a mall. Give me Mariah weirdly sitting on Santa's lap in a field of snow any day. And how much did Nintendo DS pay them for that prominent promotion? Gross.

Justin Bieber's pipes are terrible. Yes, I've listened to 'Baby' 4 million times on YouTube and enjoyed it but without Luda covering his ass, he ain't got shit. I SAID IT, TWELVE YEAR OLD GIRLS. COME AND GET ME.

Exhibit B: Man Dancing with Ipod in Store

While I applaud this gay teen for showing his love of Mariah in public, I'm again annoyed that this video is shot in a mall.

I will offer plus points for the excellent ass shimmy at the 2:30 mark.

Exhibit C: Two Dancers Dancing

In the spirit of Black Friday consumerism.

It actually is Dave Coulier (aka Uncle Joey) who Alanis Morisette is singing about in "You Oughta Know." This used to be an urban legend but was apparently confirmed recently. CUT IT OUT.

Drake is none other than Jimmy from Degrassi High. My main question is...how did he get out of his wheelchair?

"Family Matters" was a spin-off from "Perfect Strangers". Harriet Winslow is actually the elevator operator in Larry and Balki's office building.

Tumbler. Fitting to mention here (HA!) but in my house, this just means "cup". Do British people use tumbler too?

Vessel. Similar to "tumbler" above, I am not referring to an ancient medieval ship. A "vessel" is a large bowl or container.

Chili burr. Now this is one I'm pretty sure no other family uses, including other Indian ones. When we were growing up, my mom used to call farts "chili burrs". Yup, no idea where that came from but I've devoted a lot of thought time to this over the years. I think I first realized that this was an odd term in second grade when someone farted and I laughed and shouted "chili burr!" and everyone looked at me like I was from another planet. 

Absconding. Defined formally as, "Leave hurriedly and secretly, typically to avoid detection or arrest." In my house, people, tumblers, vessels, and other objects were always "absconding".

Banshee. If you were howling as a kid, you were generally likened to a banshee. Not a witch - that would be too easy. A banshee.

Doing "ticks". Commonly referred to as "cracking your toes," in our house we called it "doing ticks," as in "Raj, if you do any more ticks you're going to get arthritis."

There are many reasons people buy IPads. Some people really enjoy typing on glass. Others like taking photos with a camera twice the size of my dad's 1982 Polaroid (have you ever seen people taking photos with their IPad? Probably not because they would look RIDICULOUS).

As Jamie can attest, I don't use my IPad very often. Okay, I hardly ever use it. The only time I use it is when I'm on a plane...and it's been a pretty good friend. Let me tell you why.

I am an airplane reader. I can devour at least one book (and possibly even take a bite out of Book #2) over the course of an SFO-JFK flight. Pre-IPad, I would stand indecisively at the airport bookstore, trying to figure out what to read. My rational self always made me purchase a book that would make the person sitting next to me think I was smart...or at least, not a total airhead. This is the reason why "Suzie Orman's Young, Fabulous & Broke" currently resides on my bookshelf at home...desperate times call for desperate measures.

But if you ask me what type of book I actually want to read, it is generally a trashy, chick-lit, rom-com paperback full of gay best friends (who may or may not have an HIV scare at some point in the book), careers in advertising/media/PR (apparently, if you want a man, another type of career is not an option), and references to London neighborhoods like West Kilburn and Belgravia.

The problem is, these books make people think you're a dumbass, on the plane and generally for the rest of your life. In my opinion, it is sacreligious to throw out books, which is why the entire "Shopaholic" series is cleverly hidden behind a line of Shakespearean classics on my apartment bookshelf, rather than in the trash, where 9 out of 10 leading book critics say they belong.

The IPad has saved me, helping me stay up-to-date on every failed date and high-heel crisis, while allowing me to keep my dignity. Gone are the days when I would have to wedge US Weekly between the pages of War and Peace. Nobody knows what I'm reading anymore.

Back when I worked at Campus Progress, my co-worker Jesse and I got into a debate which can be best summarized as "Jews v. Indians". We proceeded to argue about which group could claim cultural dominance in particular areas. Here's where we wound up:

Food: Obviously, Indians win here. Imagine you were playing a game I like to call "Rock.Paper.Samosa". Two people (Jesse and myself in this case) both say "rock, paper" and then instead of scissors, you say the name of a particular type of food (Jewish and Indian types of food in this case). Samosa beats gefilte fish every time.

Smarts: This one I think we agreed was a tie. In addition to a mutual love of great deals, Indians and Jews generally share a certain high level of intelligence. Note, I said generally. Exceptions like Amy Fisher and the people in this video do occur.

Humor. Jesse had me beat here. He quickly reeled off a list of famous Jewish comedians from Woody Allen to Larry David, Sarah Silverman to Barbara Streisand (Babs literally = Funny Girl). My rebuttal examples were my uncle Murali and my brother Rajiv. Needless to say, I did not win this point.

Today, however, I would have an excellent funny Indian famous-person example -- Mindy Kaling (aka Kelly Kapoor on "the Office") whose new book is seriously the best thing I've read all year.

Now a lot of bloggers are saying things like, "I loved this book. Mindy and I would totally be best friends." But they are all probably lying...except me. Here are several reasons why Mindy and I would actually be BFF:

In her book, she says, "One thing you should know about me: I absolutely refuse to stop being a culturally Hindu, deeply superstitious Christmas tree have'r." There is only one thing I have to say to that -- AMEN.

There is a photo of her in the book in her "writer's frame of mind" aka she is in her bed typing on a laptop wearing soft pants. For a second, I blinked twice and thought I was looking at a photo of myself.

She has a whole section on "Jewish Guys," which she prefaces by saying that she is entitled to write this piece because all of her friends are Jewish. Hello? Sound familiar? "Manny" is my red wine of choice, my mom uses Yiddish in pretty much every sentence and my portrayal of Gertie Steinberg, an old Jewish woman who gets lost and ends up at a summer camp reunion, in my 7th grade play was critically-acclaimed.

She has a large head too. Sadly, we couldn't take any fun pictures together because our heads would eclipse every frame (I'm looking at you, JHC) but you know what they say about big heads, Mindy. Bigger heads = bigger brains (ancient Tamil proverb).

Seriously, I couldn't stop thinking "wow, she thinks a lot like me" when I was reading this book. And she made me want to start writing again. I highly recommend it to anyone looking for a great, fast read.