Hey Mac

When Life gives you lemons throw them back at Life. You will probably miss, and Life will laugh at you.

When Life gives you lemons tell him to make his own goddam lemonade cuz you’re busy.

When Life gives you lemons refuse them, because plums deify.

When Life gives you lemons regift them to someone you don’t really like.

When Life gives you lemons tell him your mother told you not to take food from strangers.

When Life gives you lemons eat them, because free food always tastes better.

When Life gives you lemons demand to know if they’re organic or contain GMOs.

When Life gives you lemons squirt them into the wounds of your enemies.

When lemons give you Life make a confused expression.

When Life gives you lemons call him an idiot for forgetting to buy the sugar and water too cuz now your lemonade is gonna taste like shit.

When Life gives you lemons give them to the starving children in Africa, you greedy bastard.

When Life gives you lemons sell them on Ebay for twice their market value and teach Life a lesson about capitalism.

Friend: I just spread my arms out and had the weirdest thought

Me: what?

Friend: I kinda look like Jesus