With Freedom, How Does One Make Use of It?

- i’m socially exhausted - i don’t have the time right now - i don’t know how to reply - i have a bad memory and got distracted - i’m having a depressive episode and don’t have the energy to socialise

not reasons i haven’t replied back:

     N o a h   T.   R i b e i r o

    Independent Original Character                 Written by Annie

            I’m the one at the sail            The master of my sea.

Out of habit, Sam chuckled through their teeth.The glass in their hand swishes slightly, hand rolling a little in thought. Nat deserves better, a lot better. That they knew without a doubt. It was when that thought was tied to them as well where the doubts came in. True they’ve been getting better at that whole thing. Thinking and believing thought are two different things. Dark eyes stare into the drink for a few seconds.

Rose let out a small yelp when he slammed on the brakes, not quick enough to hold onto the seatbelt and soften the blow against her skin. She knew she’d probably have another bruise but it was nothing she couldn’t explain.

“You thought it was the right thing?” She listened, nodding and letting them take their time to get the words out. It couldn’t have been easy, she knew. Especially when you believe that everything that happened is your fault, “Sam…I don’t know if you know this but Nat never cared. Nat never thought you were a shit show, and if he did then he felt like maybe he could help you. He’s like that, always wanting to do more for the people he loves. It’s not just for stories. It’s hard, trust me I know, but happy endings aren’t ever how you expect them. You’re worth it, maybe that was the ending Nat was trying to get you to see. You’re worth everything to him.” She reached out to touch him, but thought better of it and kept her hands folded in her lap.

“Like I said…not surprising.” She played with her hair, “But last time…Nat’s disappearance wasn’t of his own volition. Lo said he had finally convinced Nat to leave, after everything his ex had put him through. But…the ex wasn’t having that. Even if he didn’t love Nat he wasn’t going to let anyone else have him…like a toy.” She took a deep breath, “We found him…after a week. Nat had to go to the hospital for around that time too. And that-” surprisingly…she was the one trying not to curse now, “That man got off with probation! We got a restraining order yes but he should be rotting-” she took a deep breath, “Sorry…that story is…familiar. I shouldn’t be so brash.”

There was a brief flash of guilt in the sudden stop, hearing the yelp that came from Rose. It went over just as quickly though when she started talking. Staring out at the road Sam tried their best to take in those words. She really had a knack for getting the meaning of them, it stuck with them for a little while. They thought about Nat, thought about how it felt when they spent time together. Of course Sam couldn’t dwell on that long or else they might actually crash this time if they’re too distracted. They let out a breath, no answering her on it all. Somehow it just felt like they were somehow lower than before.

Which didn’t help to prepare them at all for what Rose was about to tell them. The first sentence was enough to tense Sam up again. Glaring dangerously out at the road their knuckles turned white. If there were grip indents on the wheel it wouldn’t be surprising. They were seeing red. “You’re not being ‘brash’ enough sounds like.” The words growled from him. Suddenly the knife that Sam always has on them felt heavier in their pocket.

Her face went pale at Sam's implication, shaking her head, "No no no Sam, he's far away. He won't hurt Nat anymore and even if he did find him, Nat has a panic button on his phone...he should've pressed it if and when he was in danger." She wrung her hands, "Just keep driving to the ocean. We'll find him."