something took my fuzzy dice @raiderkingjackal - Tumblr Blog

therapardalis

"Dammit, I got Vampire dust all over my new clothes!"

raiderkingjackal

"Two runs through a cold high-spin cycle will take it out. Anyone I know?"

#jackal NO #he wakes up for this? XD

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kalgalen

wonder if vampires swallow blood wrong sometimes. like yeah they don't need to breathe but it's still gonna suck innit? like they're getting their lil drinky on and want to deliver a devastating one liner to their victim so they pull away and half choke on a mouthful of blood. id turn to dust on the spot. i'd set myself on fire. i'd go to coffin and not leave for a decade.

therapardalis

raiderkingjackal:

-

“Ha fucking ha. Well, at least as far as dumb jokes go, you’re past the point of asking what a vampire’s favorite fruit is.”

“Oh come on, Jackal, I kill me! Because no-one else has managed it yet. But let me guess, blood orange?”

raiderkingjackal

“Blood orange, neck-tarines... both crap, by the way. I always preferred pineapple back when I could eat.”

#therapardalis

therapardalis

“Vampires aren’t cool, they’re just room-temperature.”

raiderkingjackal

“Ha fucking ha. Well, at least as far as dumb jokes go, you’re past the point of asking what a vampire’s favorite fruit is.”

#//he's back from the dead!#sort of #:P #therapardalis

therapardalis

raiderkingjackal‌:

-

“Supposed to be. Not like I spent enough time there to find out if it were true. Why, are you suggesting a visit?”

“You’d only bother about them if they were tasty. Crunchy snacks with chewy centers.” Personally she didn’t put much credence in the ‘lizard city’ idea; it was possible something was hidden down there (because geez, had anyone been under the Kremlin?) but a city would have to be a lot deeper to not be found.

“I’m sure they’d be knocking a broom on the ceiling telling everyone to pipe down.”

raiderkingjackal

“Very possibly. Humans are loud. But I’ve seen my share of the weird ones that go crawling through the tunnels by choice, too. Well, until we eat them.”

#//silurians! lol #therapardalis #rp

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therapardalis

raiderkingjackal‌:

-

“Their tunnel systems are much less used and the hunting is easier since the inhabitants stay out late all year round and have much more cause to vanish in hiking accidents. But other than that, I agree.”

“Mm, true enough. I remember running around the LA tunnels during Prohibition … I guess they’ve always been a place to find a drink. Isn’t there supposed to be an ‘ancient lizard city’ down there as well?”

raiderkingjackal

“Supposed to be. Not like I spent enough time there to find out if it were true. Why, are you suggesting a visit?”

#therapardalis #rp

therapardalis

“You know, if there’s one thing I just don’t get, it’s vampires in California. I mean, not only is it famously sunny, the place burns down on the regular and there are so many Italian restaurants.”

raiderkingjackal

“Their tunnel systems are much less used and the hunting is easier since the inhabitants stay out late all year round and have much more cause to vanish in hiking accidents. But other than that, I agree.”

#therapardalis

gothic-nightmares

💀 GOTHIC NIGHTMARES 💀

[Text: Captain Fangy] So, if you eat someone who's tripping on drugs, do you get the high too?

[Text: Fireball] Less a high and more they just taste weird. Why?

#therapardalis #rp

raiderkingjackal

[Text: Captain Fangy] You guys haven't been eating out recently, have you? Several course meal?

[Text: Fireball] Not recently, unless you count a few weeks ago. Birthday party.

[Text: Fireball] Why? Did we eat someone important? Haven’t been watching the news, too many idiots on it.

therapardalis

[Text: Captain Fangy] Then I don’t think this is you.

[Text: Captain Fangy] I’ve been semi-coerced into investigating something, and if it was your guys I’d make sure to do a bad job.

::Pause of maybe five minutes::

[Text: Captain Fangy] Wait. You still do birthdays?

raiderkingjackal

[Text: Fireball] Never said we remember them. Just celebrate when we figure it’s been a while and need an excuse to party.

[Text: Fireball] Where was it? Washington? Might’ve been Azura’s crew, DC’s a mess.

#therapardalis #rp

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[Text: Captain Fangy] You guys haven't been eating out recently, have you? Several course meal?

[Text: Fireball] Not recently, unless you count a few weeks ago. Birthday party.

[Text: Fireball] Why? Did we eat someone important? Haven’t been watching the news, too many idiots on it.

#therapardalis

::Leaves the occasional juicy victim where they'll be found, with a note - 'You're welcome'.::

[text: Fireball] Is this your way of inviting me to dinner?

[text: Fireball] The last one tried to run. You’d have appreciated it.

#therapardalis

raiderkingjackal

-

[Text: Fireball] Ooh, very pretty.

[Text: Fireball] Not me, though. Would have kept it. Any idea where it came from?

therapardalis

[Text: Captain Fangy] Fair enough - thought it was a long shot.

[Text: Captain Fangy] Return address is the antique store, ‘Anne’s Curiosities’. Where they got it … well. Gonna go visit and ask nicely.

raiderkingjackal

[Text: Fireball] Might have to pay them a visit myself if they keep things like that.

[Text: Fireball] Let me know if you find anything interesting. Now I’m curious.

#therapardalis #rp

therapardalis

[[ @raiderkingjackal from here.]]

therapardalis asked:

[Text: Captain Fangy] Hey Jackal. You didn’t happen to send me a silver trinket for some reason, did you?

raiderkingjackal answered:

[Text: Fireball] I don’t think I did. What is it?

[Text: Captain Fangy] ::Pic attached:: Who the fuck knows? Antique place in Mass., sent to my ex-employer for me.

[Text: Captain Fangy] I don’t really expect it was you, but figured I’d check just in case.

raiderkingjackal

[Text: Fireball] Ooh, very pretty.

[Text: Fireball] Not me, though. Would have kept it. Any idea where it came from?

#therapardalis #rp

[Text: Captain Fangy] Hey Jackal. You didn't happen to send me a silver trinket for some reason, did you?

[Text: Fireball] I don’t think I did. What is it?

#therapardalis #rp #ask jackal

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"Six drops of the Essence of Terror, five drops of Sinister Sauce ... "

“Yes, perfect recipe, I’m sure. I’ll pass on licking the spoon, though.”

#therapardalis #ask jackal

jessiejjones

no more ‘vampires who correct history books’

more vampires who don’t remember more vampires saying ‘i don’t fucking know man, google it’ more vampires not remembering important historical figures more vampires not recalling centuries worth of history more vampires saying ‘ that was at least 300 years ago, how the FUCK could i remember that detail?’ more vampires whose brains work like human brains

acertainmaybe

More vampires who 300 years later can’t remember what was the truth and what was the lie they told to get out of trouble.

More vampires who are like, “I don’t know, man, I spent most of that decade in an opium den.”

More vampires who weren’t paying attention because they didn’t think it would be important.

More vampires who don’t know because there was lot of conflicting gossip and they don’t want to point any fingers.

More vampires who are just bad at dates. “Back in 1620, or was it 1645, wait, what year is it now?”

More vampires who were on a totally different continent when it happened, so get off their back and stop asking them questions already.

therainingkiwi

YES to all of this but also consider: vampires who only remember the most trivial stuff.

“Oh yeah, the only thing I remember about the American Revolution was this nice candlemaker I met sometime, and she was wearing this really cute red shawl…”

“Uhhh I don’t remember much about the fall of Rome but there was this one fucking cobblestone right outside the coliseum…”

esoteric-merit

“ … is that what we’re doing in Rome?” “After 2000 years of holding grudge against that toe-stubber, GODDAMN RIGHT we travelled here to make sure it’s gone”

#is this not me?

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something took my fuzzy dice