BIG GOD.

@ragefelt· said:

“ what happened?” / for gemma

❝ didn’t doc tell you?  car crash, was pretty fuckin’ stupid. ❞  gemma didn’t care how much she was urged to speak the truth.  they weren’t ready to hear that shit, and she wasn’t ready to air out the dirty laundry either.  the car crash story was good enough for them.  last thing she needs is the pity, to be viewed as weak.  a matriarch is never weak.  ❝ look, i’m alright baby.  sore, but i’ll recover.  you know i always do. ❞

                            CAR  CRASH, it  never  sat well  with  Jackson. MAYBE  it  was  the semi who  hit  his OLD  MAN,  and  he  just stared  at  his mother.  ‘  It’s not  stupid  . . .  ’  Jackson’s voice  soft  as he  looks  his mother  in  the eye,  ‘  I just  worry  Mom  y’know  ?  ’  There’s hurt  that’s  hidden behind  blue  hues as  he  talks, ‘  Hey  . . .  can  I do  anything  ?  ’  EAGER he  can  still remember  when  it was  just  the TWO  of  them, before  CLAY.  ‘  Do  you  remember  ’ A  GRIN  blossoming as  he  stifles laugh,  ‘  What we  used  to do  ?  When one  of  us was  in  a bad  SCRAPE  ?  ’  MOSTLY Jackson,  ‘  We used  to  put on  CASH  ’ CASH  as  in JOHNNY  CASH,  ‘ Nurse  a  beer as  we  talked ’  Jackson  then getting  up  as he  clears  throat, ‘  C’mon  lemme get  you  a  BEER  ’  HE STILL  DOESN’T  UNDERSTAND.

 THINKS     SHE’S     GOOD     AT     MASKING     EMOTIONS       ,       shrug     of     her     shoulders     as     she     occupies     self     with     inspecting     midnight     blue     polish     on     nails.               ❝               but     you     didn’t       ,       and     honestly       ,       i     don’t     care.               ❞               yet       ,       annoyance     seems     to     settle     upon     features                           VISIBLY     UPSET.       had     been     left     wondering     if     she     managed     to     subconsciously     push     him     away                           DEFENSE       MECHANISM.               ❝               you     don’t     owe     me     an     explanation       ,       and     i     don’t     think     you     care     enough     to     give     me     one.               ❞

           He doesn’t  know  what  to say,  WORDS  fill space,  and  he can  TELL she’s  hurt. Jackson  wishes  he  had  tried harder,  then  again ?  He’s  been going  through  some PERSONAL  shit. He  wishes he  could  tell her,  as  if      THAT     would make  it  better. Yet  ?  There are  lines  he  can’t  cross                        SAMCRO     has  its  own sense  of  duty, and  HONOR.  Funny how  that  honor is  OBJECTIVE  when it  comes  to the  OUTSIDE  world. ‘  It’s  not that  I  don’t care  . . .  ’ a  sentence  started that  won’t  be completed,  ‘  You’ve been  busy  too             c’mon  you can’t  tell  me otherwise  ’  REDIRECTING conversation,  ‘  Well you    too      angry to  get  some  food  ?  ’  He can  STILL  somehow manage  to  be charming,  a  thing that  seemed  INHERITED, and  a  quality that  would  later in  life  serve him  QUITE  well.  ‘  I promise  I’ll  call you  more  . . . I’m  just                   '  HE SIGHS,  ‘  I  promise  I’m not  some  asshole ’