Firebird

I got a new phone today,

One that we never texted on

I still go through our messages every night

Wondering where it stopped going right

I got a new phone today,

One without your name in the call logs

I keep on hovering over the call button

But never do an act so sudden

I got a new phone today,

I know you saw the stories

But maybe you didn’t cause you would call me

There's always this dream I have,

Him holding me in his arms

Would tell me you missed me,

Glad to finally have me back

When I wake up I lie confused,

Was this real or just some fantasy?

But at night again you'd hold me,

Telling me that you missed me all this time

I'm a person who overthinks

I'll always wonder if you love me

I'll always wonder if you care

I keep living in the fantasy that you're only scared

Scared of losing me forever so you never ask me out

But when you get me alone you tell me all the sweetest things

Of how I'm the one for you

How I'm the one you'd rather be with and not her

But we both know thats not true

I never ask.... but I know

But I can't help but always wonder

It doesn't hurt to entertain that thought

I'll always think about you

I'll always think about the ifs and what ifs

I'll always think about you

Even in the back of my mind

Like I always think about the others

How they must hate me

How could they love me?

There's always better than me

A better option

One who knows how to talk without having to write a song or a poem

One who knows how to act without sounding so mean

There's always a better option

One I always see with a friendly smile

One who is just as mean

Maybe I wish I was just as pretty

But how can he not love me?

When I'm so lovable

It's his loss anyways

There's no better than me

It's his loss

At The End Of Love

It's like stars forgot to shine

Maybe it's me who did

Maybe you couldn't grow a spine

How could you if you're so different

Watched everyone around me move

I'm still frozen in place

It always feels this empty

At the end of love

Does it always feel this dark?

Don't know if I'm moving or going back

Still waiting for the light at the end of love

I prayed on every star

That fate would turn you mine

It almost sounds ironic

You got a faith as strong as mine

Watched everyone around me love

But I'm hung up, what if?

It never felt so pointless

At the end of love

Does it always feel this dark?

Don't know if I'm moving or going back

One More Time (If The World Was Ending)

What would you say if I held on too close?

What would you say if I say I want more?

What would you say if the world was ending, and I was the only one left to love?

I've been breaking on my own

Been holding back my tears for a long while

I've been missing lots of him

Knowing there's not a trace of his scent left

But I wish we could pretend

That our world's about to end

So I could hold you one more time

You would love me one more time

Be in a time where it don't matter if you got or not a dime

But our wish is just a wish

What would you say if I held on too close?

What would you say if I say I want more?

What would you say if the world was ending, and I was the only one left to love?

We could just pretend, I'll never tell

Don't got a soul more important anyways

We could forget, just for the night

Just till the truth itself sees the light

But I wish we could forget

All the pains and all the threats

Could get lost in your arms for life

Or till you'd want me for your life

Maybe in a world where it don't matter whether or not we do it right

But my wish is just a wish

Tell me baby, do you wish?

What would you say if I held on too close?

What would you say if I say I want more?

What would you say if the world was ending, and I was the only one left to love?

-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Tragic

Fool me once, wanted more of you

Fool me twice, never enough for you

Fool me thrice, that's just tragic

Stupid me believed it was magic

You drained all my blood through a cleft

Took off with all the love I had left

Do I haunt your memories, like you still do mine?

The fact that you're doing fine, it should be a crime

The day you begged me to stay, was it love or lust?

I'd like to believe we did have something then it's lost

If I fought with my parents, I'd be sent to my room

It didn't matter if I was right, I'd just be angry and alone

It didn't matter if I was wrong, I'd be too sad to atone

But I still go on

We had something good beneath those ruins

Calm after sex, hard to be taught in mere poems

I'd hear your voice, know I was home

All I've been dreaming of was being in your arms

But you didn't believe me

And it was hard for me to convince you

We worked too well together

A Link that breaks never

As pretty as a Zelda

Being lovestruck was never in my agenda

The longer I stay away, I keep forgetting why we fight

And I know it's not your case, but space is all that I've learned

But maybe the reason you're incredulous was because you're wishing I was her

Cause in the end it's her you wished would wish your happy years

But I'm not mad, guess I wish I was cherished more

She got the sunny side up while I get to be called a whore

But god, it hurt to always text first when we fight

Cause otherwise I'm dead to you no matter what the time

And I'm not the smartest, cause I always come back

God I wish you could ever say that you wanted to backtrack

But it's not who you are and I accepted that

Connection

You said we had a connection

Never fought, never had a contention

Now you're taking your words back

"I may not be the one"

Cause you're scared our love might just run out and burn

If we don't have a connection

Then you'll love someone

You said you're having doubts

That's why we're going back to friends

You take the easy route

And we know how that always ends

Cause you and me, we were meant to be

Now you're scared of love, say you wanna be free

All my love, all my pain

Now I see it's all in vain

Cause now I'm scared of love too

Maybe I'm not the one for you

All the ways we're still attached

All the things I should've asked

Cause now you broke my heart again

And my world's about to end

You said we had a connection

That our love was almost perfection

While I gave you my trust you lied right through your teeth

Cause how else where you gonna be able to breathe

But if we had a connection

How were you able to leave?

You said you're having doubts

That's why you're scared of hurting me

You take the easy route

And we know how that always ends

Cause you and me, we were meant to be

Now you're scared of love, say you wanna be free

All my love, all my pain

Now I see it's all in vain

Cause now I'm scared of love too

Maybe I'm not the one for you

All the ways we're still attached

All the things I should've asked

Cause now you broke my heart again

And my world's about to end

I can't change your mind if that's how you really feel

But now you got me doubting if what we had was real

You're saying we're not meant to last

Who are you to be the judge for that?

And now you're fading away

What's worse is I don't get a say

All my love, all my pain

Now I see it's all in vain

All the ways we're still attached

All the things I should've asked

Cause now you broke my heart again

People think I'm cold

Say I'm hard spoken

"I can't care or love"

So they call me broken

I've been told I don't deserve love

I've been taught I don't deserve nicer things

If he's mean then he has his good reasons

If I'm mean then it's an act of treason

Don't tell me that you love me

When I know you're gonna take it back

Don't buy me all the gifts

When you know that you'll ask for it back

Always So Kind And Righteous

To the boy who nearly withered

Left me at a loss of rhythms

Purest of souls, gave up his years

Putting his needs always below the dears

To the boy I hardly said farewell

Left your mark when only known you an ephemeral

Partially my fault for not speaking how I feel

Primarily afraid that what we have isn't real

To the boy who nearly died

Glad you now see the ocean wide

When you see how far you've come now

You'll be glad to have kept that one vow

To the boy who taught me life

You leaving cut through my heart like a knife

But when all is said and all is done