Jay

Jonathan saying he hates the color pink on Nancy (even though it’s the color she wears the most), never trusting her intuition, and always placating her instead of talking things through.

anger issues as a trauma response is something i don't see a lot of people talking about, probably because it's an "unpalatable" or "uncomfortable" form of struggling. like yeah, my older sister consistently denied me any real identity or freedom of my own for the first decade of my life. based on the shit people say online, you'd think my trauma response would be to become as small and unobtrusive as possible. WRONG! i just got angry as fuck. i made myself bigger, more threatening, louder. harder to ignore. when i don't want to do something someone else does, i genuinely struggle not to just go "no, i don't wanna do that. we're not doing that.", because for so long, i had to go "okay, i guess we can do this if you want..." even when i didn't. the point is that my opinion never mattered, so i made it impossible to dismiss. and in the process became an angry, bitter, argumentative individual. and that's something i'm working on.

interact with this post if you believe aspec identities are queer

Dismantling the relationship hierarchy is not about rearranging it so that sexual and romantic relationships are devalued while QPRs become the new “more than friends.” We need to completely do away with the idea that relationships exist on a fixed hierarchy. Some people will consider friend(s) or a zucchini/QPP the most important part of their life. For some people, their most important relationship will be a sexual relationship (and not necessarily one which includes romance!). And some people will still consider their romantic partner the most important person in their life, and that’s fine too.

Not to be repetitive but genuinely sex positivity and sexual liberation only work if everyone realizes that sex isn’t that much of a fucking deal. It is not the be all end all of anything. It isn’t the crux of every coming of age story or the pinnacle of every relationship. It’s literally just a thing some folks do.