dont forget me

to have lydia in her life was like having her own ray of sunshine following her around – warm and comforting and seraphic, all the things henry still couldn’t be sure if she really earned or not. as much as it hurt, the short break was an opportunity for her to think twice who she was letting into her life, who she needed to fight and care for. the top of the list, you might ask, was, obviously, reserved for her one and only. slender arms encircling the petite blonde into a tight hug, the corner of her lips twitched with an apologetic, almost nervous smile “i’m sorry disappearing but i am back and i never intend to leave ever again and that is a promise.” and she meant it. pulling herself back to get a better view of the blonde, henry could feel her face lightning up with the unexpected yet deeply appreciated comment, mentally readying herself for their usual compliment battle. “me? who gave you the right to look so damn good? look at you! you’re shining.” eyeing the edge of her bed, she sat down, wiggling her brows at liddy. “i feel like i’m in for a wild ride, yeah? please, lady lydia,” she hummed, bending her back in a half curtsy ( and completely butchering the traditional gesture ) remains of her childish grin still visible. “i want to know everything, by that, i really do mean everything and not the and that’s what you missed on glee type of recap, okay? we’re not leaving this room until i hear all there’s about miss radcliffe’s life, thanks!”

“I’ve come to that point in my life where I just sit on yourube and watch whatever the hell comes on. Today I have hit that point where I have been drinking wine and watching videos on Disney.. I really do need a Disney trip though. Really bad…or another bottle of wine.”

“i never actually went to disney as a kid.  my mom was weirdly against it.  she was much more into museums or...beaches,” lydia said, laughing slightly as she remembered some of the trips she’d taken as a kid. “but i get it, i’ve gotten really into audio books lately?  i know some readers condemn them but you know what?  they’re kind of awesome.  it’s a whole new level of multitasking for me.”

“Nah, they just didn’t know you as a kid. Don’t know that you’re secretly pure evil like I do,” he tased her, remembering days they would run around hotels and beaches and make pillow forts. Being with Lydia reminded him of simpler times, before life became complicated and his biggest worry was what game he would play that day. They had missed each other’s teen years, and now he was determined to know the person she was now better. He stopped by the counter, placing an order for a pitcher before they settled into their lane, pulling on the ugly shoes and taking his sneakers off. “It’s…. not going to be good, I’ll tell you that. I promise I’ll try not to let the ball go flying,” he retorted. He looked around, looking at the lane, turning back to Lydia with wide blue eyes. “Is it too late to request those bumper things that they put up for kids?” He joked. wiping his sweaty palms on his jeans. “Alright, looks like I’m up,” he said, impulsively leaning over to place a kiss on her cheek before getting up to grab a ball. His focus was distracted thinking of her watching him, letting the ball roll down the lane and managing to knock over one measly pin. “Did you see that?” He asked excitedly, turning around and throwing his fists up in victory. “I’m dropping out to become a pro bowler.”

she couldn’t help the smile that spread across her cheeks, her face already flushed with a pink hue.  in a way, felix did probably know her better than most of the students at yates.  they knew each other in their innocence- and part of her feared what he would think if he truly knew everything about her now.  she tried to push those thoughts away as she picked out a sparkly purple ball that wasn’t too heavy, laughing as felix spoke.  “i was hoping they would have those little slides you can just push the ball down, now i’m really screwed,” lydia smiled.  the kiss was quick, effortless- it felt weirdly natural and a sort of tingly warmth remained on her cheek even after he had turned away.  she swallowed, trying not to let her grin completely overtake her face as she took a step back  to watch him take his turn.  the way he spun around in triumph was incredibly adorable, and she giggled as he celebrated.  “are you about to hustle me, lesser?” she teased, crossing her arms.  “that was quite impressive.”  a pitcher of beer was set on the table and lydia filled two flimsy plastic cups as felix bowled his second turn.  “are you sure you’re ready to see my skills?” she grinned, picking up her ball and approaching the lane, secretly hoping she actually pulled through and didn’t totally embarrass herself.  she took a deep breath before swinging the ball forward, and it followed a course straight down the middle, splitting the pins in half.  “well, i suppose it’s better than a gutter ball, no training wheels for us, huh?” 

“I get it, don’t worry,” Tanner nodded along because, out of everyone, he was probably one of the only ones that understood the desire for class. While a break was enjoyable, he thrived off a bit of schedule, especially now presented a circumstance that drew him inward. “Summer was nice, but, uh, I don’t know if you heard but Carmen is taking some time… you know, away. So—” Tanner shrugged simply. Better to keep the details sparse, easier then. “It is what it is. Ready for, uh, Junior year though.”

lydia clenched her jaw, her chest twisting as she realized that of course he wouldn’t be happy-go-lucky going into the fall semester.  his emotions had probably been thrown for a loop. “oh right, i heard about that,” she said, looking over at him with a bit of pity. “i’m sorry, i always liked you guys together,” liddy tried to keep her comments somewhat short in case he didn’t want to talk about it.  she gave him a soft smile, giving him a soft nudge with her fist “yeah, you know what?  junior year is gonna be it for us, i can feel it.  there’s something in the wind, it’s going to take us places,” she teased.

a dry i will see you later and closing the door on her face, henry knew her best friend deserved so much more. still, the pity party was calling her name, and she simply had to obey – sixteen days of devouring vegan junk food, going through her letterboxd horror list ( it was her way of purging her heart ) and missing her first junior year econ quiz, which she was already regretting deeply, henry was finally ready to be herself again, whatever the hell that meant. no time for psychological bullshit, thank you. holding a tray of questionable-looking cookies ( a health hazard? perhaps, but at least she baked them with love ), her fist hovered over the door, glossy lips spreading into a radiant smile. “hey,” voice found a poised rhythm upon realising it didn’t sting that much to be back at hastings, a sign she was healing, “sorry i’m late but i swear i’m done with last minute baking, it’s not a vibe.”  lately, she had been lacking in the friendship department, all caught up in her tragicomic bullshit, but today was going to be about her beautiful, naive, sophisticated newborn baby lydia, that was a promise. “they are right out of the oven and we should eat them now, better to ruin our taste buds with heat… i’m not saying i don’t know how to bake but i really don’t know how to bake.” | @radlydias​

His eyes drifted over her dress, the way it fell on her, smiling at the sight. He was relieved to see he wasn’t the only one who had dressed up slightly when he picked Liddy up. “Okay, good. I spent like, way too long thinking about where to go,” he admitted, laughing with relief. Lacing his fingers through hers was a new feeling, one he liked, as they walked towards the bowling alley, Felix holding open the door form her, clatter of pins and balls inside greeting them. A grin on his face, he shook his head at the blonde, blue eyes flitting up to her face. “Lydia Radcliffe, are you telling me you drank underage? I’m calking the authorities on you,” he joked, although he smiled at the image of a younger Lydia hanging around in here, hoping someone older would take mercy on her and her friends and buy them something. “We didn’t really have many places like this in New York. I pretty much spent my time after school smoking on someone’s stoop or trying to use my terrible fake to get into a shitty bar,” he told her, nudging her with his shoulder, walking up to the counter to get them shoes. The boy behind the counter asked for their sizes, then slid a few pairs over, Felix finally letting go of her hand to grab them. “You can’t make fun of me if I roll a gutter ball every time. Or you can, actually. I’m pretty terrible. It’s like my eyes and hands aren’t connected at all,” he admitted with a chuckle. 

he was a gentleman, maybe a bit of a goofball, but that made him all the more charming.  lydia glided through the open door, her eyes quickly running over the familiar interior.  she could smell the onion rings and pizza that were being pumped out of the kitchen and the pitchers of beer that were rushed to tables.  “i know, it’s a bit shocking.  everyone at yates thinks im sugar and spice and everything nice,” she teased, though it wasn’t entirely a joke.  she seemed to have something of a reputation for being a bit vanilla.  “i promise you didn’t miss out on much, vermont isn’t exactly the pinnacle of excitement,” she smiled as she leaned against the counter.  there was a tinge of sadness in her stomach as she realized she hadn’t really gotten a chance to know high school felix.  despite being friends as kids, there was a gap where they had lost each other, and now she wanted desperately to fill it.  she giggled as she grabbed her shoes and they made their way towards a lane.  “oh, this should be fun,” she smiled, knowing that her own bowling skills weren’t exactly stellar.  “we’ll be lucky if either one of us ever knocks down a pin.  and i’ll be lucky if i don’t plain wipe out in these shoes,” liddy laughed as her fingers tightened her laces.  “i can’t imagine what we’ll be like a few drinks in.  i promise to try really hard to not drop the ball on your food.”

“Do you want me to be honest?” Tanner asked, fully teasing in how his head titled to the side. It was an act he couldn’t keep up for long, quickly shrugging his shoulders soon after her question came. “Kidding. Honestly both, really. Got like—” He scrunched his face, trying to do the mental math of how long it’d take to code his homework. Then, throw in and add those few hours of distraction. In the end the answer was: a while. “— a good bit to do. Kinda wanting to put it off so if you’re down to tell me about your summer, how you are? Ready for it.”

liddy raised her eyebrows, but her face soon broke into a smile.  her fingers were still wrapped around the warm paper coffee cup as she peered over the old wooden desk at her friend.  “eh it was...fine,” she said, her eyes looking up at her forehead as she went over the summer’s various events. “but i’m good, really.  and weirdly enough i’m kind of excited to get back into the school year swing, you know?  i need the structure,” she wiggled a pencil between her fingers.  “what about you?”

“i’ll see if i can dig up my old flash drive; i’ve only got about twelve of them in a box somewhere in my apartment.” how could he deny her that when she gave him that look? “have you ever read a scholarly essay? i swear, sometimes the titles are longer than the actual papers.” he watched her movement, smile forming on his lips as he resisted the urge to move her hair behind her other ear ⁠— just another excuse for physical contact. “you’re really gonna make me take the fall for this? i’d never survive in jail; i’m too pretty,” he joked, hand running through his hair and sending some curls falling loose. “nah, don’t worry about me; i ran track for a long time, so i’ll be fine making my getaway. you sure you don’t wanna just hop on my back? i can probably outrun some security guard, even with both of us.”

Engine in his car spluttering down and dying, on its last legs most likely since he hardly got it repaired, the stereo finally quieted down. His hands still gripped the steering wheel, looking over in the passenger seat to Lydia, his hair feeling unnatural in the neat, slick way his Calloway roommates had styled it for him that night. They had practically attacked him as he left, one of the girls he was friends with declaring this way no way to greet a girl on a first date, Lesser. S hence his normally messy mop turned into something more formal, although they had thankfully spared him to dress himself, button down and jeans looking unusually polished for Felix. There weren’t even any stains on his clothes, no smell of weed. “Um, so, here we are, he started nervously, getting out of the car to trot around to the passenger door, opening it for the girl. The ride over had been quiet, Felix’s radio blaring in the silence. But he felt more relaxed now as he opened the door for her, letting her slide out to see their destination. Neon lights shone over their faces, flickering on and off, the sign to Preaker’s only bowling alley. A nervous grin was plastered on his face as she took it in. “Is this okay? It’s not too lame, is it? They um, have drinks inside too. In case my personality gets too annoying you can just pound some shots,” he joked, scratching at the back of his head. @radlydias​

liddy smiled to herself as she sat silently in the car, her eyes occasionally darting over to felix.  he looked different with his hair all smooth and his outfit neat and tidy, she liked it.  she liked him the way he dressed normally too, but there was something charming about him getting a bit more put together for her.  her stomach still churned as felix walked around the car to get her door.  the dates from her past she could recall the most clearly had been in high school with the few short term boyfriends she’d had before her senior year.  she wasn’t really sure if she knew how to act.  of course, she’d been friends with felix for years, she knew how to act around him- but this felt different.  was it supposed to be business as usual, or something new?  “thank you,” she said as she popped out of the car, smoothing out her dress that she had spent too long picking out, trying to decide how to look casual but not too casual.  “no, this is perfect,” liddy smiled, looking over at him.  the location seemed very fitting, and she hoped the fun of bowling would ease her nerves.  “i don’t see much chance of that happening, but i won’t turn down a drink or two,” she grinned before carefully sliding her hand into his and nudging him softly with her shoulder.  “you know i actually came here a few times in high school,” she began as they made their way toward the building.  “i mean i wasn’t much of a cool kid, but i didn’t go to a few outings on occasion,” she laughed, “the kids at school always liked it because it was filled with college kids and, you know, if you were pretty maybe one of them would buy you a beer.”

no matter how worried she was about lydia, parker couldn’t help but crack a smile. “yeah, yeah, i’m a babe,” she said, shaking her head. she was lucky lydia wasn’t a stubborn drunk like herself, or getting her to the cabins would’ve been a lot harder. that, and parker’s tiny form had a strong presence that demanded people get out of her way ⁠— anyone who didn’t get out of her way got moved forcibly. she was fully prepared to pull a couple mid-coitus out of their cabin, but was pleasantly surprised to find it still empty. letting out a breath, she gently deposited lydia on the bed and went to the set of drawers in the room, rifling through them until she produced two oversized, complimentary t-shirts with “i survived the moulin rouge yacht party 2020” emblazoned on it. she tossed one to lydia before starting the long, unnecessarily complicated process of undressing herself. “okay, light of my life and pain in my ass: spill it. why are you shitfaced and why was i not involved?” 

“Order up,” Tanner said, setting down the drink he’d picked up for her on his way over. Looking back, he wasn’t sure when exactly this had become a trend but coming to the library without double-fisting some coffee? Felt wrong. “Tell me I got it right. Need that tiny bit of good news.” @radlydias​

tousled blonde curls popped up from the open book at the sound of the paper cup landing on the desk.  a smile instantly spread across lydia’s face at the sight of tanner, and selfishly- at the scent of hot coffee.  she grabbed the cup for a quick sip, tasting the familiar notes of hazelnut.  “oh it’s perfect,” she grinned, “thank you.”  she took another generous sip, thankful for the boost of caffeine.  “so what brings you in, do you need me to wave some late fees or are you just in need of my incredible company?” she asked, her tone laced with sarcasm.

a slow, genuine smile found its way to saffie’s lips at lydia’s reaction. at her thank you. she really was as sweet as the redhead had assumed, wasn’t she? at least upon first impression. it was nice—a relief, really, with all of the rather chaotic students mulling about. letting a breath of a laugh leave her, saf took her knee off of the bed and steadied herself back on the floor. she then began to collect her discarded pieces of clothing, looking over her shoulder every few seconds as lydia spoke. “i don’t know if it’s confidence so much as carelessness,” she admitted as she readjusted her bra strap and reached for down for her corset. “which… i guess requires some sort of confidence.” a shrug briefly lifted her shoulders as she brought the garment around her waste. for a moment her brows knit, hands fiddling with the hooks. “would you mind helping me out a bit?” saf asked in minor defeat, already taking the couple steps back towards lydia and turning around.

carelessness.  the word hung in the air around lydia for a moment.  she’d heard it before, it was rich in her memory coming from the lips of her mother.  it had such a negative connotation in her body- strung with the idea of being reckless, irresponsible.  but now she thought about it in a new way as she imagined a version of her that cared just a little bit less.  what would she be like with a little less care and a bit more confidence?  lydia quickly hopped back up on her feet, her hands taking hold of the corset to assist with the hooks.  her knuckles rubbed against the soft skin of saf’s back and she practically held her breath until she was finished.  she took a step back, admiring the other girl.  “your outfit is beautiful by the way, the headpiece is so detailed, it’s stunning.  i mean- not to say you aren’t also stunning without all of it,” she shook her head.  “sorry, i’m still pretty drunk.  i don’t really hold my alcohol well.”  liddy admitted as she clutched her stomach.  “i don’t meant to keep you from the party.”