bicth

"yeah... it would be nice..."

everyday. it’s an email about the Coronavirus. as if regular emails weren’t bad enough.

my unread books will never forgive me for this quarantine if I decide to still not read them

Guys you don’t understand this man also escaped the nazis THREE TIMES. Dude’s immortal

wives on tv are like *putting on lotion* youre home late.

I’m not a misandrist I have man friends and sometimes I even read books by men I’m very open minded

y'all here on tumblr.edu always talking about some “do you ever think about-” like no i do Not Think Ever. already unrelatable. next

Nothing good ever came from giving men the benefit of the doubt

do not stand at my grave and cry i am not there i do not vibe

Animal Crossing villagers will say shit like “Hey, how much water do you think is underneath your fridge from all the ice cubes kicked under? My guess is AT LEAST half 7-11 Big Gulp! Hey! Call me over on a hot day and I could get a straw and sip it up!”

after social distancing is over everyone is gonna be so touch starved every contact with another human will be like the hand flex scene in pride and prejudice (2005)

social norms after the pandemic are going to be like: "did you hear? miss Katherine brushed hands with the starbucks barista the other day when getting her morning coffee. quite the scandal if you ask me, exposing herself in such a manner… and with gloveless hands!“