fall down the rabbit hole 🐇🕳️🦌🐾

we are a newly discovered system who has just recovered memories, we are still very new to systemhood and aren’t even fully sure we ARE a proper did system yet, but for now this is helping our frame of mind. we needed a place outside of our brain to be ourselves in the meantime before we get properly diagnosed, hence this blog.

we sometimes will go long stretches without posting due to our several disabilities and hectic life. we have fluctuating chronic pain and commissions/requests are always on a basis of we get to it when we get to it :)

we are a fictive heavy system due to consistent escapism and maladaptive daydreaming to escape abuse we endured during our time as a kid. anyone who is weird or rude about sources/fictives will be blocked.

we are also a little heavy system so be aware of what you send us in dms. if we see you coming at us sexually out of nowhere without knowing who is fronting we will block you.

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content warnings

stances : pro endo, critical of dark fiction, pro kink, neutral harassment (in the sense that i will harass bigots), paraphilla critical, anti big 3, radqueer critical, anti harmful radqueer identities, etc prob add more

⚠️before you interact : we are a severe child abuse victim and survivor and we post and talk about topics such as child abuse, CSA, COCSA, domestic violence, incest, sibling abuse, familial abuse, sexual humiliation, grooming, religious trauma, transphobia, workplace harassment, c-PTSD, severe child neglect, hypersexuality, homicidal/aggressive thoughts, intrusive thoughts, self harm, multiple eating disorders, autocannibalism, other types of compulsions, horror/fear related trauma, kink + general nsfw content, mental/physical healthcare trauma, revictimization trauma, school bullying, stalking, paranoia, delusional thinking, guns/hunting, undiagnosed and untreated mental illness, system/memory related trauma, sexually compulsive behavior/attractions, suspected ocd and bpd thoughts, like all the types of abuse physical/mental/psychological/sexual. there’s probably more, if it makes you upset you should expect to find it here. take caution. we do not tag all the time. if we do tag it will be tagged either cw ___ or tw ___. proceed with extreme caution.

i do not support everything talked about on this blog, please use your brain i am not actually a serial killer cannibal incest lover. severe trauma conditioning is real. survivors shouldn’t need to be pretty or palatable for you to have the basic decency to respect them.

❌ do not interact : consang fuckers who think irl incest is okay in anyway. general dni bullshit. harmful radqueers and radqueer identities. (radqueer community in general are on thin ice but yall can hang out if you’re chill and also are anti harmful identities). pro contact big 3 paraphiles. big 3 paraphilia havers in general. (ocd havers are not included in that, you are safe here). homo/transphobic people. cishet men. transmisoginistic people. don’t believe trans men are oppressed. believe trans women are oppressing trans men. use terms like tmra/transmisandry/androphobia, sexism and transphobia are the enemy, not women. men’s rights activists. are transmed/truscum. fake claim or reality check ANYONES lived experiences in anyway without consent. proshippers who use dark material for spank bank material, you guys fucking suck and ruin dark fiction as a coping mechanism for trauma victims. both proship + antiship discourse, you fuckers give me a headache. you dislike dark fiction as a means of exploring trauma and compulsions that come after trauma. transfem jax denier OR transmasc/enby/genderfluid jax believers. FUCK OFF. you want to bring syscourse into our dms. you lack critical thinking skills to apply to my posts. intend to criticize how and what i post to my own blog instead of blocking. you bring your own morals here onto my blog to push onto me. in any way have ill will or desire to fake claim our system. if you shame survivors for how they cope with their child abuse, DV, CSA, or incest trauma, DN FUCKING I. -jackal🐺🦷🐾

our beliefs vary between alters so you may find very different ways of seeing things depending on who’s fronting to talk about a topic. do not proscribe collective beliefs on our system even if we say we have them, our alters do NOT have the best communication or understanding of each others feelings and thoughts and they lack understanding of correct social etiquette and will straight up lie about the system sometimes for either self preservation or self destructive urges.

please block us if we make you uncomfortable!

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system members tags

✨ at the start of their # means frequent fronter!

🪟 at the start of their # means frequent observer!

⚙️ at the start of their # means average frequency front/observation from the alter!

⛓️ at the start of their # means infrequent fronter!

🛌 at the start of their # means ex frequent fronter!

🍹 at the start of their # means they are on break from fronting right now, can be short or long!

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#host tag🐇 - fluctuates who is using this tag

✨#jackal🐺🦷🐾 - he/it/her/rot/ram (no she), main host/cohost, protector, addiction holder, grime holder, trauma holder, apathy holder, codependency holder, emergency fronter, threat detector, specusian, fighter, escutcheon, putnam, kink alter, horror special interest holder, nu metal lover, frontstuck for 1 billion hours

🍹✨#jackalope🥪🐶⭐️ - they/he/she/it/bark/woof second in command cohost, joy/love holder, diplomat, destressor, activity doer, energetic member, emotion experiencer, general experiencer, friendship and love memory holder, bell ringer/talker, thailean, optimist, flail, resident cofronter of the system, giggle maxxer puppy pom pom purin fictive :333

✨#chilla🐇🧼🩹 - they/it/he/angels, backup cohost, soother, caretaker, chore doer/forcer, sensitivity holder, drowser/sleep helper, stress/anxiety holder, optimistic, trauma holder, comforter/destressor, cheergiver, crybaby, rsd holder, hyperfocus holder, activity doer, a tired bunny, loves cloud gazing :))

✨#badger🦡💥🐾 - he/it/hit, factive/fictive, anger holder, trauma holder, protector, hyperfixation/escapism holder, extra energy storage, repressor, emotional memory holder, grudge holder, overstimulation experiencer, compulsion holder, emo little badger like that one mlp meme, mcr fan 1st human being 2nd

🛌⚙️#lope🧪🐇🦠 - it/he/1T/H3, ex-host, liminal spaces special interest/hyperfixation holder, nostalgia holder, experimenter, trauma holder, aggressor, erratic behavior holder, aroace spec holder, was rarely fronting for a long time then suddenly showed back up one day

✨#jackrabbit🪶🐇☢️ - he/it, co host? retired host, anxiety holder, paranoia holder, delusion/compulsion holder, self doubt holder, addiction holder, that one picture of the rabbit with the clock basically, he thinks he’s the host/og (he’s not) god save him

⛓️🛌#bun🍥🍼🤍 - they/he, subsplit of chilla, little, stress/anxiety holder/experiencer, crier, rarely fronts, never fronts alone, blueberry bunny, chillas little sibling

🪟#angel’s eyes🪽💫👁️ - she/it/they, angel alter, external+internal protector and caretaker, silent watcher, hundreds of her all seeing eyes are always watching for danger to our system or friends, only ever fronts in emergencies, is religious and believes herself to be our “guardian angel”, any religious discussion will be tagged as ⭐️angels prayers if you would like to block the tag in advance

🛌⚙️#tommy/clem🍊☀️💥 - he/she/it, ex host, extremely source connected fictive, self/situational acceptance holder, love/anger/grief holder, trauma holder, ex escutcheon, embracer, frontplucker, break prescriber, insys therapist, our trauma recovery internal specialist, she fluctuates from a rowdy teenage girl to a wise old woman who has lived 15 different lives

✨#wishbone🫀🪽🎀 - she/they/he/it, research and development manager, our “voice of reason”, logic and rationality holder, diplomat, insys teacher/therapist, chronic pain + ed symptom holder, big sister figure, dutere, rationalizer, negotiator, diffuser, emotiohelper, ethic, emotional funnel, loves pastels, loves research, is a unicorn with a love of gurokawa aesthetics + fashion

⚙️#smiledog🦷🩸🖥️ - it/its, frag, just a dog, helps us with our dental hygiene, it likes to bark a whole bunch!

🛌⚙️#sam’s spot🍔🐶🪽 - he/him, work oriented fragment/fictive, doesn’t front outside of work

🪟⚙️#cheshire🎀🐾💜 - any/all sysmate pronouns, gatekeeper, innerworld operator, memory skewer, dissociation creator/processor, floater, trauma blocker, dream gatekeeper, dream stealer, stays in innerworld mostly and only ever cofronts when not in innerworld

⚙️⛓️#sally🎀🧸🪦 - she/it, frag/fictive, little, memory holder, ghost traveler, nonhuman, ghostmate, resides deep in headspace, 1900s ghost girl thing

🪟#mix’s mix👾🎼🥁 - it/xe/he, our resident dj alter!! technically a fragment, can pick from a random variety of songs from a boombox in headspace and can take requests from other members of the system for specific songs to helping us with different things! can be for distraction, energy, pain relief, etc!

⛓️#ninaaa!🌈🫟🔪 - she/H3R/it/1TS, frag/fictive, obsessive thoughts holder, hypersexuality holder, homicidal ideation holder, lovecutor, love holder, platonic/romantic obsessor, subsystem member, scenegirl mental serial killer with a love for blood! XP

⛓️#lamb🐑🩸📿 - it/he/hymn, frag/fictive, confrontation, honesty holder, rationalizer, diffuser, diplomat, controller, comforter, the loving deity of our system, takes care of us and watches over us as a flock

🛌⚙️#kat!!🪤🦝⭐️ - it/paw/he, middle, fictive, adhd symptom holder, rsd holder, hyper fixation holder, dehumanization holder/embracer, nonhuman therian soul, is incredibly connected to warrior cats

🪟#jax🐇🎀 🖥️ - he/she, derealization holder, depersonalization holder, memory eater, does not feel real 99% of the time, source memories, enforcer, dream gatekeeper, floater, observer, obfuscator, quiet when she fronts, heavily dissociated part, resides in headspace/innerworld, one half doesn’t want to be here, the other half is making the best of things!

⛓️#jtk🪦🔪🩸 - he/him, frag/fictive, radical self love/acceptance worker, self preservation alter, self hatred holder, fighter, internal protector, older brother figure, subsystem member, doesn’t front we think

⛓️🛌#jack🩻⛓️‍💥🕳️ - it/he, ex host, fictive, survival mode holder, survivalist, protector, frostling, nonhuman creature, energizer, shock absorber, trauma holder/experiencer, autocannibalism urge holder, a nonspeaking alter, subsystem member, mostly makes weird noises, can beam its thoughts into sysmates heads to be heard/understood

⛓️#toby🪓🔥🛢️ - he/him, frag/fictive, familial trauma holder, hate/stress holder, violent urges holder, fighter, intrusive thoughts embracer, anger/hate holder, protector, comforter, amplifier, anxiety holder, misanthropic member, fire lover, subsystem member

🛌⛓️#brian📼🩸🪨 - he/it/?/¿, ex cohost, fictive, general stress holder, paranoia holder, memory blocker/skewer, mental protector, delusion holder, memory guardian, knowledge hider, gatekeeper, buffer, subsystem member, resident analog tech fan

🪟#habit🐇🫟🎥 - it/he/xe/H3/1T/X3, half abuser introject/half fictive, berserker/persecutor, hate holder, locked out of solo front, intrusive thoughts maker, possessor, terrorizer, malicitor, accuser, enforcer, disabler, fear shifter, intentional harmer, mitigator, obtruder, phobiecutor, regimetician, reinforcer, targeter, is the self proclaimed “evil alter” he just sucks

⛓️#bubba🌻🐓🌾 - she/he/they, frag/fictive, shepherd, comforter, inner protector, inner world navigator, love holder, comfort horror alter

⛓️#leather🍖🐄🥩 - she/he/they/it/blood/squeal/cut/maim, frag/fictive, safe sex practicer, embracer, philiorma, kink alter, sexual alter, misanthropic member, sexual horror alter

⛓️#evan🗡️🧱🪓 - he/they/it/?/¿, frag/fictive, subsplit of habit, split emotions holder, trauma holder, rationalizer, love/hate relationships with everything

⛓️#rotten girl🥬🧼📖 - he/it/her (not she), age slider / middle, shame holder, hypersexuality holder, online trauma holder, religious trauma holder, guilt holder, transphobia trauma holder, escapism holder

⛓️#fedya🎹🩹🖥️ - he/her/it (no she), frag/fictive, grime holder, shame holder, disgust holder, self hate holder, sadness holder, heavily dissociated part, hypersexuality holder, sex repulsion holder, love repulsion holder, gore embracer, mortemate alter

⛓️#valerie/maddie🔮🌈📒 - she/they, family member frag/introject, internal caretaker, shepherd, teacher, role model, grief holder, trauma holder, encourager

⛓️#shadowlope🕳️🔦🦷 - it/its, half abuser/half headmate introject, mimic, loyalist, self doubt and self hate, enforcer, accuser, exhort, impersonator, fear shifter, subsplit in the system, nonfronting alter

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lots of our alters rarely front or front in only specific situations, we cycle mostly between five/sometimes six or seven (SHUT THE FUCK UP) alters. others never front on their own and others don’t front period.

if there’s anyone specific you wanna talk to you can feel free to ask but you might not get a speedy reply from that person or a reply from them period.

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profile navigation tags

⭐️new systems comic - our comic tag !! please check these out we worked a hard on them :DDD

⭐️alter intros - our extensive intros !! same as above we’d love it if you checked them out ^_^

⭐️our art - our own art not part of our comics, mostly oc work and commision work :P (commissions open!)

⭐️our stimboards - tag of all our stimboards (open!)

⭐️our moodboards - tag of all our moodboards (open!)

⭐️others requests - any requests we make for people (we make stim/moodboards, BAH, outfits, prob other stuff, if you have an idea ask us about it! <3) (open!)

⭐️our asks - asks/posts we’ve answered !!

⭐️ask games - different ask games you can send stuff from to get to know us! you can also see our replies to the ask games in this tag too :))

⭐️our barks - our text posts / random talking posts

⭐️jackal barks - more complaintive/argumentative posts, feel free to mute this :)) you might see vague syscourse stances (pro endo i love u guys) but not alot

⭐️angels prayers - religious talk / trauma discussion feel free to mute!!

any other tws or cws are not tagged with star emojis as to make blocking/filtering easiest for people.

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our personal tags

⭐️fave - generally our favorite posts on the site!!

⭐️my wife - posts that are about my irl gf or posts that remind me of her in some way !! <3

⭐️resources - all did resources we’ve collected so far

⭐️important - important posts we’ve collected so far

⭐️retag - need to go back and retag w alter tags

⭐️our requests - things people make for us! :)

⭐️art - others art that we want to study and learn from

⭐️graphics - graphics blinkies userboxes you name it!

⭐️terms + flags - self explanatory, lgbt and plurality!

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our ask box + dms are always open !!!

a comic we made featuring the body throughout the years. i hope this is in any way understandable, we’ve been having a weird time of things. we made this comic yesterday and then we came out to our gf and her gf as a system. we cried and shook but they embraced us.