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something about the constant reassertion that sidestep is dead. something about the constant pressure from the people in their life for sidestep to return to being Sidestep. something about never being able to shake your own dead body & something about everyone trying to kill you again

actually im not done with this line of thought i think theres a lot of meat to chew on about when exactly sidestep considers Sidestep dead. what was time and place of death was it heartbreak proper? impact with the ground? in the ambulance ride (in which case is the deciding factor time or distance), at the farm (in which case when exactly here too - upon arrival? upon surgery? was it even day-of or did sidestep die slow in days and months) was Sidestep alive until they returned to LD and upon arrival there was no longer room for both sidestep and Sidestep and so Sidestep had to die? was there an active decision that sidestep was dead or was it pronounced by necessity